We finally got things lined up to take Karen’s daughter M to our favorite Thai restaurant up in the big city last night… She has been home almost a month, but is now planning to go back to MO (where baby-daddy & his family have relocated) on July 1st. “We haven’t gone riding!” M bemoaned last night, but she’s been busy visiting friends or in-laws whenever I’ve hitched up my trailer…
I badly wanted to ask M if baby-daddy plans to put a ring on it, but didn’t want to sour our festive mood, so Auntie Val kept minding her own business! (Baby A just turned 2, she shares a BD with my son so it’s impossible to overlook) I know the order of “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes X pushing a baby carriage” has been jumbled up - after all, I myself wanted to cohabitate with Michael back in our day, but my parents threatened to sever their support. It was like a shotgun wedding without the pregnancy - but I know my mom endured scrutiny by several of her friends “if Val was pregnant?” since we had such a short engagement (Feb to May; but of course I was moving down to College Station to start veterinary school in August)
The irony is if I had lived with Michael and gotten a few glimpses of his true nature, I probably never would’ve married him, another one of those alternate-path scenarios that Val likes to contemplate. Yet these days I can barely see past the nose on the end of my face, let alone contemplate the swirling currents of history! My subconscious was bringing up memories of my high school boyfriend as I dozed this morning - thank goodness my alarm went off. My mom is struggling in the quicksands of her own memories - another cousin of mine passed away; I realize the obituary is not worded very well but she got completely confused and thought they were referring to his son Carlos being the offspring of his brother Larry, who passed away 30 years ago - now that would’ve been quite the time flip! (Actually I think what Charley’s wife was trying to avoid was mentioning the name of his first wife)
There’s no way I can drive my mom over four hours away to Northern Oklahoma; we will have to wait for the services at DFW National Cemetery. I’m going to do my “estate sale featuring ball pythons” tomorrow in the hopes that some of these people who have expressed an interest will show up and buy some snakes. Z has been strangely distant and off-putting, but there again I am minding my own business, leaving him the hell alone and letting that umbilical cord wither…
The what-ifs of historical happenings will drive us NUTS if we let them! But we don't really have much control of when the musings will hit us, and in the middle of the night is prime time for second-guessing, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteCondolences on the loss of your cousin.
This makes a 4th person I have heard of that was born on our son's birthday.
ReplyDeleteMuch to my grandparents disdain my mom cohabited for a while if I remember correctly. I tried to do my first marriage sort of by the "old book". I was a virgin. I seriously doubt if we were ever in love. We eloped. No kids and I didn't want any with him. I would have never married him had I lived with him. We met in late winter (February or March) of my freshman year in high school, were together off and on (he went to Vietnam, we broke up more than once), married November 28 of 1970 when I was a freshman in college and were together off and on until around Labor Day or early September of 1981 before we permanently separated and divorced on December 21, 1983. I was pregnant at the time and had to push it as my ex did not want a divorce. He couldn't marry his current squeezes if he was still married, could he? I told him if he wasn't going to get a divorce he was going to be a daddy, to someone elses child. That sobered him up. I never intended to marry again. Met Benny when I was separated on June 5, 1982. Did not cohabit until December 25 of 1982. Benny's idea, not mine. I let my family know that I would no longer follow social conventions which didn't serve me. Got pregnant and had an out of wedlock on June 9, 1984. Some of my family was less than thrilled but they all understood. Benny's family were not. Benny finally talked me into marrying him on December 21, 1993. Ten years to the day of my divorce. Our families were not invited but we most likely overjoyed behind our backs. For me it was like reentering the gas chamber for a second time after escaping the first time but this time has been different. In my obit I will fashion myself I will have no trouble mentioning my first husband/first mistake. I tend to think of it as war medals or my stint in prison. I served time.
I am doing the same with my son the Gemini. He usually prefers to ignore me and I take that as a gift. Good luck with the snake sale.