…was the outcome of Val’s Big Idea of “an estate sale featuring ball pythons“; not one single person showed up Saturday morning - getting my weekend off to a grumpy start!
I am also grumpy because I don’t know why my son has ghosted me - it would’ve been less painful if he had let me down gradually rather than this abrupt apparent severance of relations? I’ll admit, I had gotten spoiled to all the extra time I got to spend with him during the pandemic - in a way it felt like make-up time for all of his childhood that was ripped away from me: just hanging out, taking care of the critters, and the routine chores like shopping and so forth. I should be grateful for what I got, I know!
I delivered two nightstands and some clothes he had left at the Mesquite house which still appeared serviceable to me? Victoria never emerged from the bedroom and Zach gave me the bum’s rush after I visited my frog and the beardies. Then I drove home to be snubbed by a friend of mine who said she’d be available for dinner Saturday or Sunday, but had exhausted herself doing yardwork. The only positive thing to come out of the weekend was the fact that the next-door neighbor came over expressing an interest in buying the Mesquite house - if I could swing a deal with them, that would simplify things considerably!
Another large part of the problem is that I am stressed out and continue to be entrenched in my bad habit of eating my feelings - staggering around feeling like a dyspeptic Beluga whale doesn’t help anything even though I’ve only bloated up 5 pounds. The financial walls are closing in on me so I need to flip the house, put the mobile unit & the surgery trailer on the market, and get everything lined up for (hopefully) our move into the new facility by August. But the siren call of New Mexico beckons to me and I will not sacrifice that little trip. Maybe that’s bullheaded of me but there you go.
(( hugs )) to you, Val. And you posted a HUGE dose of wisdom in that last one... wonder what a sustainable pace is? Hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteHope things improve, whether in attitude or live space!
Right now a "sustainable pace" is a slow trudge - but I guess any forward progress is a plus at this point in time!
DeleteWhat a shame that you had no takers on the snakes.
ReplyDeleteTry not to worry. I am sure you will hear from your son. At some point, once they are in a relationship, they tend to disappear but they usually remember birthdays, holidays, etc. Especially theirs. LOL. And they know who to turn to when things go south for them.
That would be great it you could sell that house! And the mobile unit and surgery trailer. That would really help. Something to look forward to!! Plus the New Mexico trip.
Yep - what's distressing is that I **THOUGHT** we had a nice BD dinner, then Z might have well have fallen off the edge of the earth??!!??
DeleteI'm hoping these financial dominoes all fall in order: house, mobile unit, surgery trailer - while it feels decadent of me to haul off to NM, hanging around fretting about things won't help
It's impossible to figure people out. Maybe somehow V was offended. Who knows. I learned long ago that some people are way too sensitive for their own good and I don't feel like kissing their butts constantly to get by. I'm not into high maintenance people. I'm not high maintenance and don't want to deal with others who are. At any rate, you have bent over backwards to help your son and V, and your mom and P, and your friends and clients, and if all of them are too stupid to realize that, then God help them. Right now you have bigger fish to fry and need to concentrate on getting back on track financially and on track physically and emotionally. They will happen when you can concentrate on YOU. So I hope you will ride every chance you get and go to yoga class and whatever else will help you to get some relief because from what I see, YOU are the one who is suffering and those around you are adding to your problems. Time for everyone to be supportive of you for a change and I do mean everyone! and as far as feeling guilty because you want some time for yourself, you are not the caregiver for the world. People have an obligation to take care of themselves as much as they can. Put your own oxygen mask on!
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