Hope Springs Eternal

 As I restocked my herbal formulas & stir them into my coffee this morning with a pledge to “do better”…

Gavin has many miraculous tales of health transformations on his website - initially I got into this intermittent fasting routine of course, to lose weight! but now I am hoping if I’m diligent about it something will flip the switch to improve my health and energy levels.

This is been one hell of a week and I am whupped, but I’ve got to finish my coffee and keep moving. I have escorted mom to dinner every night this week, but last night we were supposed to go out with my cousin and her phone was not ringing through. Obviously I’m gonna have to get her a conventional phone since she now leaves the cordless handset off the hook until the battery runs out. I was finishing my final desperate clean-out of the cottage on Thursday, so I have not had a meeting with the team at Arabella to discuss mom‘s routine. While it’s all well and good for her to “press the button when she needs help”, she could be lying on the floor while insisting that she’s alright… I want someone to help her walk the dog 3X daily - even though Abby is a tiny little dog, she can pull hard enough I’m afraid she could trip mom up or pull her off-balance. Probably a twice-weekly showering schedule will be adequate - it hurts my heart to think that I left a $17,000 walk-in tub as a donation to her old facility, but you should’ve heard Mom griping at me last Sunday when I gave her her last bath: “Don’t fill it up all the way - it uses too much hot water!” (She wouldn’t let Sonia fill the tub completely either, but she would sit in it while she basically soaked her feet while Sonia  rinsed her off with the handset) So there was another one of Val’s bright ideas which failed miserably - let’s install a walk-in tub so it feels more like home!

At least she answered the phone this morning and seemed reasonably content with her breakfast bar and coffee - filling the reservoir on the coffee pot is another chore for the caretakers since mom does not have the grip strength to handle it.

Toni modeling one of mom’s MANY scarves - with Mom’s permission I gave it to her!

                                                            Sample menu at Arabella

                         

Ain’t Nobody Happy

 Not me & certainly not my mom! I have escorted her to dinner each night (on Tuesday night I was too hot, tired & sweaty to feel like eating, but the good news is if you visit Arabella at meal time they are happy to feed you!) The food is good - served café style with a fairly extensive menu & nightly specials. Last night for example, the specials were enchiladas or grilled shrimp. I really thought mom would go for those shrimp but she ordered a chicken salad sandwich, so I ordered a club sandwich. The funny thing is -    she was complaining of her back hurting so I went back to her room to get her some ibuprofen. I had to hunt for it a bit (my friend Toni** who’s been a tremendous help had put them in the bathroom cabinet); I set the bottle down on the counter where mom can find them. By the time I got back, the girl had brought our sandwiches but had switched the plates, and mom had already tucked into my club sandwich. (Thankfully there’s nothing wrong with her appetite) So we wound up going halfsies! Then we split a piece of the coconut cream pie which was awesome…

** I owe Toni her own entry: she is my “friend of longest standing” (it wouldn’t be nice to call her the “oldest” because she’s NOT) but we grew up together, we met about age 6/1st grade. She retired this summer and lives literally around the corner from Arabella, so she has also been helping me out with the move and trying to help mom acclimatize. We’re going to take mom out for catfish tonight - I have invited my cousins who have all had opinions, but funny thing is, I haven’t seen any of them at Arabella yet?

Gotta quit being bitchy & get on to work, with an emergency stop by the bank - I had to take another disbursement from my retirement account to keep this Titanic project of mine afloat. But as I joked to Peran last night (yep, I asked him to kick in $5K last week so I could make payroll), who the hell cares about retirement? He never would talk to me about such plans, so obviously we’re both gonna work until we drop.

                                        This is definitely my friend Toni

The Imperfect Storm

  Yesterday was “M-I Day” (move-in day) for my mom at Arabella. It was the exact antithesis of pleasure, although I was relieved last night to know that she was safely tucked into this “safer” place, even if it is the last place on earth Mom herself wants to be… I have heard so many variations on the sad refrain of “my daughter is forcing me into this nursing home” - you would think I’d have grown numb but it still stings with each rebuke.

I need to get moving right now instead of typing - I need to take mom a simple slip leash for Abby (she cannot manage the clasp on her leash), and a surge protector so we can plug in her phone at the head of her bed. A few other odds & ends for her room and we should have it fairly well set up, then I’ve got to jump into finishing emptying the cottage of its treasures. I believe I’ll just pay a guy to stack the rest of the stuff from the closets in my hay barn; thankfully I can leave the rest of the furniture (couch, 2nd BR set, desk, kitchen table & chairs) since the facility manager says they can just use it as a model. Mom is supposed to be first in line this morning to get her TV hooked up - last night I stayed through dinner time, but then put her to bed early since we were both exhausted.

More on the rest of the comic tragedy my life has become later - my financial house of cards is collapsing and I just have to watch it like a slow-motion train wreck. FML as the kids say!

Phase ?!?

 I am now entering what should (hopefully) be a relatively short-term but intense different sort of endurance event, let’s call it The Triplicate. It consists of A.) getting my mother moved, B.) finishing getting Mesquite house cleared out & on the market, C.) securing financing to complete my clinic remodeling.

Yesterday I had to take mom over for her functional evaluation at Arabella, fill out some paperwork, and take her across town to Dr Martinez (physician who used to provide care at the Villages but doesn’t come out there anymore) so he could update her P.E. & sign off on more paperwork to transfer her medical records from the Villages. My cousin complicated things slightly by texting me at 8:30 AM to say she was coming to pick up Mom’s antique secretary (a combination curio cabinet/desk). I had just sat down with my cup of coffee - thank goodness I heard my phone ping so I got up to reply to her and ask her to slow her roll slightly since I need to get over there and empty the priceless artifacts from this piece of furniture!

I only beat her over there by about 15 minutes - of course, when mom was informed what was happening, she sulled up and refused to finish her breakfast sandwich. Then when we got that task completed and we needed to go down to Red Oak, I couldn’t find her car keys! they were not in their normal spot (a small bowl on the kitchen counter). I had a very clear memory of replacing them there the last time I took mom out 2 weeks ago and I had this horrible suspicion that she had hidden them…I could also envision her hobbling out to her backyard and winging them over the fence!

Fortunately after a short but intense search, I found them in the bottom pocket of her walker - isn’t that odd for a woman who hasn’t driven in five years? So we were about half an hour late from when I had planned to be in Red Oak, which meant I didn’t complete the paperwork before we had to trek across town to her doctor’s appointment. The usual tedious delays there, coupled with another Medicare evaluation meant we had a very late lunch. Then I still needed to get mom back to her cottage and bounce back across town to pick up the tiny kitchenette table and a couple of (non-rolling) chairs.

                                         But I think this throne really suits me, doesn’t it?

Fort Stanton Photo Dump

 My tail was draggin’ by the time I slogged through my Monday; while I want to wax philosophical about my last Return On Investment entry, I don’t think I have enough neurons firing. So I’ll select my best photos while meditating upon my 2-decade history of Time in Ft Stanton.

It is bizarre how this iPad fails to post my photos in the order selected, but I’ll start with my (day off) Friday expedition to the Monjeau fire tower: “This lookout is the second on this spot and was constructed in 1940 using the ‘rustic style’. Monjeau is considered the most unique lookout in the Southwest. The original lookout had a 0-6 cupola ground house constructed in 1936 by the Civilian Conservation Corps. This lookout was listed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1986.”

      Way down yonder is my humble truck; I’m glad I went early so I only met one vehicle going up and three coming back down on the narrow rocky mountain road 

                                                           The view from the parking area

            A beautiful double rainbow was visible Wed night after scattered showers drifted by

                                                      Back to the view from Monjeau Tower

                                             Views from the tower were absolutely magnificent 

                                                    Ready to rock n’ roll Saturday morning 

                                                 Selfie with Christina & the Muzzle of B-boy

25 years of friendship yet this was our first official event to ride together (Carla is a hardcore NATRC/competitive trail rider who has only done a handful of endurance rides)

ROI

 The 2nd day after exertion is always worse than the first; when will I ever learn?!?

But this morning has me seriously questioning my motivations - I knew it would be a tough haul in such a short time frame, going to New Mexico; feeling as if I’m swimming through molasses this morning makes me doubt if all the time and money invested was worth it?

It was a strange feeling to have our normal weeklong event compressed into three days - Baraq (unsurprisingly) was full of himself on Day 1 so I had to quit at 14.5 miles because “the thrill was gone”! I had reserved Friday as my day of rest to drive around to Ruidoso & do some sightseeing (lots of photos I’ll download later), and downgraded to a single Intro loop on Saturday. Luckily for me it was my favorite trail at Ft Stanton, the Homestead loop. Baraq knows the difference between a competitive event and a pleasure ride so Saturday was much better…

I had planned to go partway home Saturday afternoon but was dismayed to see a flat on my truck when I started packing. This meant a couple of hours’ delay while I got roadside assistance out to help me - I should’ve had just enough time to get into Roswell and have the flat fixed, but there was an accident at the highway intersection that delayed me long enough that they had closed!  I felt pretty good (still riding a minor high from my successful  ride completion) and decided to haul all the way home.

No problems until I was on the outskirts of the Metroplex  -  about 2:30 in the morning a trailer tire blew out and I couldn’t bust the lug nuts free, so I had to wait another two hours to get a man out with a power wrench. Got home about 5:30 AM, collapsed for a few hours’ nap, & actually didn’t feel too terrible for most of Sunday. Went to reassure my poor mother who is trying her best to crawfish out of this move - “Tell them your mother’s crazy!” she has begged. If I get  through these next two weeks with my sanity intact, it will be a minor miracle…

This is where the value of New Mexico comes in: I can soothe myself with the memories of my all-too-brief excursions on those high desert plains.

And today I should find out if I had any success with my economic development grant from the City of Ferris, which may prevent my financial house of cards from collapsing. The city manager’s secretary texted me on Wednesday asking if I could have a teleconference with the city manager on Thursday - I told her I would be available after 2 PM but never got a reply? However that is all too typical of the way this little town seems to do business. It was almost preferable back in the early days when we really were incommunicado in the desert.

Christina flew out Thursday to ride one of Chris’s horses Friday - I offered to let her ride Baraq on Saturday but she graciously declined. I didn’t sleep too well Friday night because I wasn’t used to having a trailer guest!

                Sunday morning’s nap wasn’t too bad for a “half measure”

Old Dog Lacking New Tricks

 … as my packing and loading for NM sputters along in its normal haphazard fashion. A few spatters of rain this morning disrupting the process, but at least it’s keeping the temperatures cooler! Still no word from Christina so I will call or text her this evening; I’ve gone ahead & added Bo to my health certificate/entry permit since that doesn’t cost me anything. I might haul him anyway just to be a buddy for Baraq…

I had the best intentions of going into town for my friend Shana’s yoga class yesterday morning, but I just didn’t sleep well enough Friday night - couldn’t get moving! Her cousin is my friend Janay (one of these days it’s gonna line up for us to meet up at yoga), so she invited me to their family luncheon. It might’ve been a pity move but I ain’t proud! and as it turns out Shana’s mom lives in Rockwall which was like 15 minutes away from the rescue person I’ve been dealing with in rehoming the ball pythons. Nothing like killing two birds with one stone - I got five snakes relocated and also got to see my friends. Shana’s mom is housebound in a wheelchair; Janay transported Aunt Shelley’s older brother (Uncle David) from his nursing home facility in Plano - he can just barely move with a walker & many groans & curses. It was like an R-rated version of Tim Conway’s little old man routine! We now have a new inside joke as he called Janay’s Yorkie “that little f**ker”. Janay, of course, has heard all my tales of woe ongoing in my challenges with my mother - whom I had to go check on thereafter. 

I’ve texted DS three times over these past three days which I don’t believe is excessive? No response. No doubt he will be furious with me when he sees there are only five snakes remaining at Mesquite, but I’ve done what I believe is morally & ethically correct.  I’m going to make arrangements with the lawn guy to feed and water the rats while I’m gone, because I obviously can’t count on my son. When I return, I will disperse the rest of the snakes and the rat colony. I have given Zach fair warning, but if he does not make arrangements for Claude the beaded lizard, I shall take her home with me and he won’t see her again unless he comes to visit her on Sugar Ridge! All these years I thought I was a snake person but I am pretty darn fond of these lizards. Thankfully I have heard no protest from my husband about these extra reptiles in the house. I’m training Bonnie the tegu to Netflix & chill with Mom.

Friday’s Child

 I snapped awake at 5:58 AM after an intense dream sequence, absolutely convinced of the fact that it was MONDAY - somehow I had lost 3 d and I was in a minor panic. I had to look at my phone before Stupid Brain would admit that it was, in fact, FRIDAY so things were gonna be alright… I mean, I never complete all that I intend to accomplish on my presumed “day off”, but I should still be on track to escape next Tuesday.

Strange coincidence was that my Thurs night Star Trek episode was “Friday’s Child”, not one of the  great ones IMHO but especially after my podcast studies, still eminently watchable! I don’t recall where the title came from - Kirk, Spock, & McCoy protect the chieftain of a primitive warring tribe’s widow; McCoy delivers her baby who will become the leader: Leonard James Ak’Kaar. Why was Spock snubbed? That I do not know…

I’m definitely a Wednesday’s child myself - full of woe when I stopped in to check on my poor mom to find her weeping in her kitchen “looking for my George” (dad’s been dead 4 yrs now). Her frailty & confusion are leapfrogging each other; 2 wks seems like too long to wait until we get her settled in her new facility but I am loathe to sacrifice Ft Stanton. I’ve booked a moving crew for Saturday 7/22 and while no doubt Mom will be upset by more downsizing, this shouldn’t be nearly as complicated as clearing out the big house. This reminds me to call the agency (I’ve told them we’ll be working week by week) to be sure I can book Tamika for next week. The young lady who showed up Wednesday spent most of her time glued to her phone; Mom was not pleased & neither was I! I’ve notified Mijo but only time will tell if he shows up to help or not. Obviously I cannot force or demand anything of him at this point - we’re supposed to be relating to each other on an adult-to-adult basis?

I delivered another 7 ball pythons to the rescue person and met with a realtor about the Mesquite house - ideally I’d like to have that cleared out by the end of this month also & ready for an “As Is” sale. I don’t think Z has set foot on the property in 3 months - once the animals are seen to, I want to recover the almost-new swamp cooler in the storage shed & then I’ll let one of those junk haulers clean it out. I’ve been fiddling with several folks from my FB reptile-keepers group about surplus caging (no one was really serious about the snakes, the bottom has fallen out of the ball python market for sure!), but I will set stuff out on the front porch - anyone who wants it can come pick it up, or there again I’ll have the clean-out crew dispose of it all. A damned shame but there’s only so much I can do.

Sounds of Freedom

 (Happy 5th of July! This national holiday falling on Tuesday has really messed up my internal calendar, not that it’s been working exceptionally well here lately anyway!)

Of course Monday was a normal workday for us at CVC, even though many of my colleagues took an extended holiday weekend. But I need to keep those doors open, generating some income as I stress about keeping all my plates spinning/balls in the air juggling during this renovation. No doubt I will need to close (hopefully only one day) when it’s time to shift our freight into the new facility; I’ll worry about that more when the time frame is more exact! I’ve already warned my girls that there are no surplus funds for the professional movers (who charged an astronomical sum for packing my storage container), so we’d better plan on doing it right by doing it ourselves. Recruiting husbands, BIL’s and maybe even a few clients…

Our friend & neighbor Steve (widower of my dear departed Ginger) held his family reunion/4th of July blowout Monday night. I prepped my usual baked beans & left P with the task of heating ‘em up/delivering them. On Tuesday, Peran wanted to see the “Sound of Freedom” movie which is based on the true story of Homeland Security agent Tim Ballard, who quit his job to battle child trafficking. A very good, but very intense & disturbing film which kept me awake last night (as if Val needed much to disrupt her house-of-cards sleep cycle!) But P & I even chatted a bit afterwards - P discussing his conspiracy theories of how Hollywood blocked the distribution of this film for 3 yrs… Val reserves judgement since there are many films which never see the silver screen if they’re not a sure-fire money maker, or stall out in production. Even my beloved Star Trek franchise had a hard time making it to the big screen!

https://www.denofgeek.com/movies/comparing-the-three-versions-of-star-trek-the-motion-picture/

Of course Val had to research how much of Tim Ballard’s movie was fact vs fiction - while not wanting to doubt the awesome Jim Caviezel!

https://www.historyvshollywood.com/reelfaces/sound-of-freedom/

The Longest Journey

 …for Val begins with the laundering of the bedsheets in my horse trailer! 😉 Is there anything on earth that smells as good as linens dried on the clothesline? From there, the packing and loading of the horse trailer will proceed in its normal haphazard fashion - the only major adjustments will be to quantities of horse feed and hay, depending on how many I’m hauling?

Christina sent me a cryptic text message the other night - I tried to call her back since I was in my native environment, driving in my car! but got her voicemail. I don’t know if “slaving at work” means she won’t be able to get away for Fort Stanton? My other friend Chris messaged me yesterday - I reassured her I will come unless I absolutely fall over dead; I just don’t know who all I am hauling besides Baraq? If Christina doesn’t reply over these next few days, I’ll try to pin her down - I do need to fill out the horses’ travel papers…

Speaking of cryptic communications, Peran allowed that he wanted to go to the pub yesterday, fish & chips for a late lunch. Sometimes I wonder if that man is spying on me - I had messaged my trail riding buddies earlier in the week, hoping I could pull off a similar surprise to Linda’s gathering at Union 28 when P finally alerted me of his birthday dinner plans. Of course 3 1/2 hours was far too short of notice, I couldn’t even get mijo to roll out! Peran revealed  that he was a little miffed at me for getting home so late Thursday night since he had wanted to go to the new barbecue joint in Ennis, but how on earth was I supposed to know that?  Hearing about it two days after the fact isn’t exactly helpful!

I tried to be as diplomatic as Henry Kissinger as I explained of course I hadn’t wanted to stay out late Thursday night either, but the young man who built Mila‘s cage asked us not to come until 8 PM because the final coat of varnish was drying! (Not my fault, in other words). I do wonder at times what planet my husband lives on, where everything goes according to plan? I know Peran continues to be jealous of the time and energy I continue to devote to my son but it is what it is - Z can have my last breath.

Strange as it sounds, in high school we had a priest lecturing us on interpersonal relationships - I’ve never forgotten his explanation of “IGYYSOB” as one of the “games people play”: I’ve Got You, You SOB”! Peran seems to delight in trapping me in these conundrums…