I snapped awake at 5:58 AM after an intense dream sequence, absolutely convinced of the fact that it was MONDAY - somehow I had lost 3 d and I was in a minor panic. I had to look at my phone before Stupid Brain would admit that it was, in fact, FRIDAY so things were gonna be alright… I mean, I never complete all that I intend to accomplish on my presumed “day off”, but I should still be on track to escape next Tuesday.
Strange coincidence was that my Thurs night Star Trek episode was “Friday’s Child”, not one of the great ones IMHO but especially after my podcast studies, still eminently watchable! I don’t recall where the title came from - Kirk, Spock, & McCoy protect the chieftain of a primitive warring tribe’s widow; McCoy delivers her baby who will become the leader: Leonard James Ak’Kaar. Why was Spock snubbed? That I do not know…
I’m definitely a Wednesday’s child myself - full of woe when I stopped in to check on my poor mom to find her weeping in her kitchen “looking for my George” (dad’s been dead 4 yrs now). Her frailty & confusion are leapfrogging each other; 2 wks seems like too long to wait until we get her settled in her new facility but I am loathe to sacrifice Ft Stanton. I’ve booked a moving crew for Saturday 7/22 and while no doubt Mom will be upset by more downsizing, this shouldn’t be nearly as complicated as clearing out the big house. This reminds me to call the agency (I’ve told them we’ll be working week by week) to be sure I can book Tamika for next week. The young lady who showed up Wednesday spent most of her time glued to her phone; Mom was not pleased & neither was I! I’ve notified Mijo but only time will tell if he shows up to help or not. Obviously I cannot force or demand anything of him at this point - we’re supposed to be relating to each other on an adult-to-adult basis?
I delivered another 7 ball pythons to the rescue person and met with a realtor about the Mesquite house - ideally I’d like to have that cleared out by the end of this month also & ready for an “As Is” sale. I don’t think Z has set foot on the property in 3 months - once the animals are seen to, I want to recover the almost-new swamp cooler in the storage shed & then I’ll let one of those junk haulers clean it out. I’ve been fiddling with several folks from my FB reptile-keepers group about surplus caging (no one was really serious about the snakes, the bottom has fallen out of the ball python market for sure!), but I will set stuff out on the front porch - anyone who wants it can come pick it up, or there again I’ll have the clean-out crew dispose of it all. A damned shame but there’s only so much I can do.
That last quote hit hard. My son's father was living his life looking backwards and it was always "too late". One of the major reasons we are no longer together... it's too easy to get dragged down into that kind of thing, or frustrated by it. I stuck it out nearly 22 years, but in the end, I'm so much better off now... 20 years later. I still get bouts of nostalgia, but they are wrapped in pink clouds of how I think he would be as opposed to how he really was.
ReplyDeleteBut that's totally off topic... it's about me and my reaction to the quote.
Hope by putting one foot in front of another, the snakes will get to their next station in life, and your own situation will resolve, too.
H1 dumped me after 13 yrs of marriage, oddly enough for a woman 10 yrs older than himself to "buck the trends", I suppose? Even though I "took the Fifth" throughout Z's childhood, doing my damnedest never to speak ill of his father, nowadays I throw out the occasional anecdote, mostly related to our reptile-keeping adventures. (I met H1 in another custody battle over a red-tailed boa) Maybe this info will be of some use to Z even though he hasn't spoken to his father in almost 3 yrs now...
DeleteI am happy to report that my son has a civil relationship with both of his parents, able to see strengths and weaknesses in each of us. I can feel much kinder and fonder at a distance of 1200 miles than I could trying to live in the same domicile.
DeleteBy the way, I am Thursday's child... "far to go" and I did more traveling than most of my siblings.
As a stay-at-home, retired, old crone/bag/bat/biddy/blue-hair, coffin-dodger I usually struggle to know what day it is and sometimes even what month. On my Welcome To Medicare visit I missed that question so now I practice before my Annual Wellness Visits. I had no idea there would be tests and they are not welcome. Any kind of test. Driving or otherwise. Screw a bunch of tests. I'm all tested out.
ReplyDeleteYikes on your mom!!! You are getting her move accomplished just in the nick of time. You have got to get rid of some of these stressors, Val. This one needs resolved where you have one less person to worry about being safe. Some breathing room.
Sounds good to get rid of the Mesquite house. Have the animals been abandoned there? I hope this house sells quickly. Less work for you to do that Z should be doing and isn't.
I only see one adult in your situation. You. You are surrounded by children of every age. It's a wonder you can cope. You have NO support system. Neither do I but I limit how much I have shoved on my plate. I hope from here on out, you do the same. I wish I could channel to you a little of the "b" that resides in me.
Loved the meme and it speaks to your character. I am the same - soldiering on. I'm not going to let life beat me down. I will go down fighting if I go down. Praying for strength for you. The finish line is near. Don't falter.
I love the meme, too! It's how I've been living the past few years. Perhaps a second birth of my persona? DH has become the fearful one. 'If there's nothing left for me to do that makes me look important, I'll just sit here and rot watching TV.'
ReplyDeleteOooh, sorry about the mini rant.
Yes, it sounds like mom is tipping towards the tough to deal with side. Getting her into the facility is timely. Good luck and to you, no regrets! You are giving and getting her as much care as you can. You have lo leave some of yourself in the pocket for later.