Love & Physics

 I am very fond of poetry and I appreciate that old Ecclesiastical phrase: “To everything there is a season”

All relationships seem to wax and wane like the phases of the moon; this is especially true of a marriage. With my recent infatuation with Oppenheimer, I joke to myself about the “physics” of my second marriage: Peran occupies space, he has mass - therefore, he irritates me! Please believe me - I am NOT a nag; I keep these irritations to myself, even as I strive valiantly to reward every fraction of good behavior just like every other form of training.

Last week as I was hitching up the horse trailer (a process with which Peran is intimately familiar),  he failed to pick up the chock under the jack. I proceeded to back over it, hit the obstacle but fortunately only bent the handle & did not damage anything on the truck differential. I took my truck in last week for what I presumed was routine maintenance, but I always trust the service manager to give it a good once-over for roadworthiness. When he found multiple issues (I was worried because the air conditioning didn’t seem to be getting as cold as it normally does) I pleaded that I had obligations last weekend so I needed my truck back by Friday night. Eric came through for me, but Peran kept on texting me for updates - I told him I wasn’t bothering the man until after 3 PM so he could concentrate on getting the work done! (The dealership has a new concierge service where they will pick up your vehicle and bring it back… They had picked up the truck on Tuesday but of course, with a tight schedule on Friday I had to get Peran to take me back to the dealership to pick it up - shouldn’t be a big deal for an unemployed person, should it??)

I had the trailer loaded and ready**, so Friday night I could back right up under it, get hitched, load Silas and head to horse camp which was only about an hour and a half away. We had cloudy overcast skies and misting rain most of the day Saturday, then the bottom fell out late Saturday afternoon with heavy thunderstorms. My neighbor brought over a brand new rain sheet which she had ordered for her pony but was a little too small for him - fortunately it fit Silas perfectly! We canceled Sunday’s ride since everything had turned so marshy - I’m glad I was parked at the top of the hill where I could get out fairly easily. The NATRC crew was welcoming as always as they continue to try to recruit me into their ranks.

** I had asked Peran to load a big square bale for me which would last probably for two or three rides - he declined at the time because of course rain was forecast; as the days of the week trickled by, he didn’t do it so I finally broke a bale and loaded half a bale myself. I know they are my horses & my responsibility, but to my eyes, again it was a minor task to ask of my husband?

At least cancellation of Sunday’s ride means I got back several hours earlier so I was able to deliver some medication to Victoria‘s grandfather who is now struggling with oral thrush after his radiation treatments. He is very thin and basically living off soup! After checking on them, Zach and I went and shared some soup dumplings which are really excellent. I did not make it by to check on my own mother,  but to a certain extent I now have to trust the facility to take care of her. There’s only so much I can do.

Fallout/Repercussions

 This dual meaning popped into my head as I prepared to start typing (Val’s amateur therapy session). Each morning, I am generally able to take about a half hour to skim social media, glance at email (which piles up like an electronically-overstuffed closet - eek!) and gather my thoughts for the day…

I probably allowed my son to play for too many video games as a youngster: research accumulating now is demonstrating how damaging excessive screen time is when kids should be out doing normal socialization and playing outdoors. (Insert meme about my generation being “raised different” - we were sent outside and told to come home when it got dark) At any rate, I tried to participate by playing some games with Zach and just serving as an audience for others. “Fallout”, an apocalyptic video game series about civilization after nuclear catastrophe was one of his big favorites. Now they’ve made a TV mini-series of course - Z’s been nagging me to watch it. I’m pleasantly surprised by how engaging it is!

At any rate, a large part of my life these days seems to consist of regret over how I should’ve done such & so better: less screen time, more homecooked meals, and worst of all, how I should never have taken M back to court to even out the child support - since I’m convinced that is what triggered our final, apocalyptic custody battle (speaking of tragedies). John perked up his ears last weekend as we sat at the ride meeting - Khristin was announcing Friday ride results & called out Sue Jaffe - I told him that yes, she’d managed to back M into a corner/got him to marry her after John remembers all too well M’s fervent declarations early on that “he’d never remarry!” At least M has dropped out of endurance riding…

I wish I could remember John’s exact phrasing, but he made a comment about Michael’s immense talents and capabilities being negated by his toxicity. Well said cousin!

And now I’ve got to get on with my workday; time waits for no Aggie veterinarian!

DOMS is For Realz

 (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) - always kicks in worse at about the 48-hr mark. Sunday I felt pretty good - I was riding high on adrenaline and a sense of accomplishment. But over the course of my busy workday yesterday, I could feel myself stiffening up; last night after I got home and sat in the recliner for a couple of hours, it was hard to get up! But I forced myself upstairs to feed Athena (my baby tortoise) and did a brief, easy yoga routine which helped tremendously. I think I need to title my memoirs “I’d never have lived this long if it weren’t for Yoga”.

Sunday night I was a little wound up from the weekend’s festivities so I didn’t sleep terribly well, but last night was a little bit better. Even Peran slept in a little bit this morning - I was getting ready to go check on him but he stumbled downstairs by the time I came up from the barn. (Said he was too hot last night - we always try to delay the inevitable use of air conditioning; usually we can put it off until the first week of May)

Today I’m taking my truck in for routine service as I have this short stretch of good spring riding: next weekend I’ve promised to go be emergency standby vet at the NATRC ride near Waco, The weekend after that I have a “real” ride at LBJ Natl Grasslands near Decatur, and then we have a ride over Mother’s Day weekend in Cleburne.

Monday, May 13 I will be getting the best possible Mother’s Day gift of all time: Zach will be graduating!!! I can hardly believe it myself; I certainly don’t wanna jinx anything by speaking these words into existence - but I did ask Dr M  to cover for me. Of course I will be there front and center and we will celebrate the entire livelong day!

I will have to add more of my reminiscences about traveling the I-30 corridor when I have a little more time -  shouldn’t have taken that snooze interval this morning…

Had to add a few photos taken by Tyra - 

One Accomplishment

 (No snappy title comes to mind as I sit here groggily with my coffee, but hopefully something will occur to me before I finish my rambling account)

Obviously I’m posting so I’m home safely - actually everything went exceptionally well; the weather was perfect, the ponies were well-behaved and I think John’s kids had a good ride (especially Tyra). Joseph will need a more comfortable pair of riding britches since he found out the hard way that blue jeans (despite what you may have seen in innumerable Westerns) are not the most comfortable pants to ride in! He spent most of the second half of our ride asking Alex to walk - she is used to our normal pace, which is a medium jog-trot. Most of the mud had dried up and it was a heartbreakingly beautiful spring day in NE Texas. Khristin had a good turnout with 18 riders** signed up for the 75 miler - one of my friends got about 50 miles in but had to pull when her mare cut her heel, she thinks in one of the ponds? Just another spot of bad luck, I’m grateful none of it touched us. After the ride we packed up and headed about 35 miles north to where John is building his barndominium on a corner of his parents’ property. John is a meticulous craftsman and it will be a great retreat in the woods when he finishes.

** I stand corrected: 16 entries in the 75 with 13 finishers

Had a nice visit/dinner with Joe and Margie (John’s parents), who served as my refuge and retreat in my late teens when I was coming off my bad high school romance. More of a big bro/SIL relationship since they’re about 10 years older than me… camped out one more night in John’s’s pasture, then I had to load up and come home to the real world yesterday. Found my mom complaining that her arm hurts, but she will not leave the splint on! I have sent a message to home health care; like it or not, we may have to put her in a cast. She’s also misplaced her DirecTV controller but I was able to change channels on the box and found her a comedy movie channel with old John Candy movies. I’ll have to look up those classics “Armed & Dangerous” (John Candy, Eugene Levy, Meg Ryan) & “Who’s Harry Crumb?” You can tell they are 80’s movies because everyone is smoking cigarettes!

I pushed on from there & had a late lunch with my friend Toni. I was hoping for a call back from Zach, but obviously Victoria was off work yesterday (he ultimately didn’t call me until yesterday evening). However, I’m getting ready to receive the best Mother’s Day gift of all time since Zach’s graduation shall be Monday, May 13th. If Dr M can’t cover for me, I’ll just be unavailable that day because we will be celebrating! 

Slowly coming to life as I finish my coffee - I will post a few pictures which should also stroke my ego. It’s always great to accomplish a good deed even wrapped in my own self-interest (ponies ridden, family visit, introducing new riders to my sport) Tyra was especially smitten with Silas, bcz who wouldn’t be? His sole character flaw is the fact that he likes to urinate in the trailer, so I had to shovel that out when I got home.

                                                 This must’ve been the pre-ride safety lecture

                                                             John’s barndominium

                                            This one may be frameable - see rider in background?

                                                        Taking my ducklings out on trail

Pacing & Self-Care

 Coffee break this AM as I plot out the rest of this fine day… Rainclouds finally dissipated, as of yet I haven’t taken my “normal level” creek photos: it’s still running high, not as high as it was last week but things are pretty soggy around here!

But if we have one good day of sunshine and warm temperatures, things should dry out enough that I won’t have any problem hitching up and getting the horse trailer maneuvered down to the barn this afternoon. (When it’s muddy, things are a little more complicated since I can’t circle around on the grass. I’ll have to drive it up to the road, back up to turn back down our driveway and then get myself backed up to the barn when I loop back towards our house.) Many of my girlfriends rely on their husbands to do any complicated trailer maneuvers but I’m proud of the fact that I taught myself - necessity being the mother of invention & all that! My Tetris puzzle in the truck bed is coming together - all I lack are the lawn chairs and the fire pit. John’s bringing the firewood!

I am also being extra-conscientious of things but as we all know, accidents can and do happen - here’s a harrowing report from my friend in Kansas… she’s a little older than me, was enjoying a good ride last month and then landed in the hospital due to this freak accident: (need to get her a card in the mail)

Hillsdale spring fling was great! Until it wasn’t. Barry and I did the first fifteen miles and he fought Janeen for her head the entire time. Turns out her hack was ineffective with a new snap on bridle because the hack was on top of the halter. So he was, in essence, using just a halter….lol. Well, nothing to do about it out on Trail! Siri was good. She had a mild looky see on a couple things, went by the gun range like a rock , and I swear they were shooting cannons. We get back to camp, she’s tired…first ride back after a couple years, we are one trailer and just forty feet from our pens and very relaxed, riding on the buckle, when she saw “something”.  Folks, she exploded. Reared and spun to the left, hard and super fast. I came off on the gravel road over her right shoulder. Then, while she was still on her back feet she stepped back onto me. Than she panicked again cause she didn’t know what she was into and proceeded to do a fast tango on my legs as I covered my head. Finally it quieted down…. Seemed like ten minutes but was actually microseconds. I lay in the road, Barry screaming at me to see if I was all right. I put a thumbs up and he caught Siri and took them to the trailer. Shannon Gibb Chastain ran over and I wasn’t gonna move cause I thought I might have something broken and was stunned. I told her to go up and tell ride mgmt. 

 So after I tried to sit up three times and got dizzy and nauseous I agreed for Barry to call an ambulance. Note I’m in the road, lying on my side. So Barry went to get enough reception to call someone, I’m alone…. Lying in the road with my helmet still on…. And a pickup truck comes down the camp road, DRIVES AROUND ME, and continues on. No one else comes down. No one. Shannon was back, the ambulance gets there fairly quickly, and they take me to the hospital. Just Shannon and Barry. 

No bones broken, a concussion, crush injury to right calf muscle and a perfect bruise and hematoma of a hoof print on my upper inner right thigh where she stepped on me and then slid, removing all the skin, and a stepped on right foot. 

I’m lucky. Barry forgot my helmet and insisted I wear his that morning. I finally gave in and wore it. So now we get a new helmet instead of a casket for me. I have a concussion and a road rashed helmet, instead of worse, thanks to my best friend!! 

Today everything hurts but I’m okay. Thank you to all that asked about me.

Miles to Go Before I Sleep

 I’m trying to avoid dwelling on the fact that the highlight of my day is often the time I tuck myself in between the sheets to have another valiant try at a good night’s rest. Last night was fairly decent with merely one potty break and my normal “hourly tolls” - brief awakenings at 4, 5 & 6 AM. Peran was up shortly after six, however, so I listened to his footfalls upstairs until he finally came downstairs to sit on the couch with his coffee about 6:30. I got up at 7:00.

I am lucky to have Dr. M today; she had actually mis-remembered when they were going out of town (it’s actually next month). I’ve got a lot to do to finish packing & loading for this weekend’s fun event. What I normally pack into the extra stall in the trailer (hay/feed/buckets etc) has to be arranged in the bed of the truck like a Tetris puzzle alongside the lawn chairs & other camping gear. I’ll also take the mini firepit that I bought for Peran several years ago which I don’t think he has ever used. I believe there will be a food truck at the ride but I’ll swing by the store to get sandwich stuff and snacks…

I’ll have to trust the care home to take care of my mother - a new nurse stopped by yesterday who has big plans to do some occupational & physical therapy with her. I wish her the best of luck!

I ordered some new herbal supplements with the hope it might help - I had never posted in my herbalism group but I got some sweet replies from the hippies, ha ha!

Some Gore & Eclipse Watching

 Tish made a special request to see Sheila's spleen (we're still waiting for the biopsy report; of course it was a complicated one - sometimes there are several pathologies going on in an organ simultaneously)

                                                          Action shot (intra-operatively)

                    Slightly deflated (the surgery trailer looked like a slaughterhouse; Sheila lost a              considerable amount of blood but luckily did not require a transfusion)

                                Many folks took much better photos than me, but it was still a sight to see!

               Dusk occurred at 1:43 PM, with streetlights coming on & much cooler temperatures