…there’s another Disturbance in The Force. I wanted to write about the rest of my weekend so I would have A.) a date as well as B.) a record of pleasant experiences to review at my leisure.
But last night, Dr M texted me that her son Matt died - my flawed memory has a vague recollection that he was fighting lymphoma? I know no details, they are making arrangements today. I think I would lose the ability to press buttons on my phone if something happened to Zach; I’d be catatonic.
Sunday afternoon I met Zach at NorthPark Mall, where we did a little bit of shopping. I was torn between titling this entry “Remembrance of Things Past” versus “Incentives”. We’ve clocked many miles hiking all over NorthPark over the years - Z told me I needed to update my wardrobe so we hit the sale racks at Macy’s. Z picked out a blue sleeveless Calvin Klein dress, size 12. I did not want to disappoint him by going to the fitting room and trying to struggle into it so I just went ahead and bought it: it’s a $79 incentive. He also got me a couple of tops and a new short skirt - I had gone to the REI store to try to find my little hiking skort, but they no longer seem to carry it. For himself, Zach got a pair of green Adidas shoes - we’ve made countless jokes over the years about his shoe fetish!
So I’ve got to roll on with my day - I will swing by to turn on my mother’s television. She told me last night she had sat with a new acquaintance at dinner; I was so encouraged but in the next breath she was complaining that this place was “the pits” and she wanted to go back to her cottage. The Direct TV system really is not user-friendly; I’ve asked them several times to make it easier for her to operate but I guess I’ll have to take my complaints higher up the chain!
So devastating to lose a child. To lose any loved one is fact. I am running out of them.
ReplyDeleteNice to have a shopping buddy. I have to take hubby now and he is not fun to shop with.
I would make a bet that your mom would not be happy at her cottage either. Nor alone at her former home.
YOU'VE GOT THAT RIGHT!!! (about my mom "choosing misery") Some of the best advice Charles gave me some time back was bluntly telling Mom that **I** could never come close to filling the vacancy that my dad's death has left in her life. Some burdens just have to be carried, but she's chosen to let hers crush her...
DeleteBeing a widow is something most women who are married experience. I know it is devastating but I also know that we all must soldier on or risk being miserable. In order to go on most of us have to find a reason, a motivation, a purpose. Your mom has not found hers yet. The facility she is at should be helping her with that. Don't they have an activity department?
DeleteObviously I need to have a face-to-face with Nursing Director since emails & text messages seem to be nonproductive. Also, coincidentally enough, the admissions person has recently been replaced & I have not had a chance to introduce myself to this new staff member yet!
DeleteIt sounds like a good plan. Your mom needs to make friends there. The staff needs to reach out to her. One of my great aunts ended up going into a nursing home due to being old. She was resistant at first but became very popular. She was the oldest of a bunch of siblings and she had some skills. I went to visit her and it was obvious that she was "in charge" by unanimous choice of the residents and staff. She had things running smoothly. LOL. Dad was very popular at the skilled care nursing unit he was at too.
DeleteI love shoes too and want to be a member of the anti-social social club.
Lovely photos of Z. As a fellow athletic shoe afficianado, I applaud his taste in both shoes and shirts! Good that you had this time together!
ReplyDeleteI echo your thinking about how it would impact to lose a child. A couple of cousins of mine lost infants, but I somehow think it is much worse losing a grown child. My mother in law and my sister in law both lost adult sons, and oh, the agony they went through.
(( hugs )) and hold on to those happy memories!
One of my cousins lost her 23-yr old son to an overdose; 3 yrs later she's still suffering through it. Again, Zach gave me a few scares - reckless driving and conflicts with his father, we are both lucky to have survived that period!
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