Life is But a Dream

 I’ve been recycling through the Star Trek movies: I wanted to rewatch ST 3: The Search for Spock last Saturday night**, then it seemed only natural to watch ST 4 Sunday night & ST 5 last night…

** my self-care routine (I snort inwardly whenever I skim such suggestions) consisted of pruning my hideous toenails & putting the lotion on its skin

ST 5: The Final Frontier gets a lot of flak for its esoteric theme & uneven execution  - Spock had a half-brother, Sybok was consumed by ancient Vulcan mysticism; he was exiled to spend decades searching for the mythical Shakaree (aka Eden, the origin of life). It’s not the best Star Trek movie, but I enjoy it nonetheless - it has its moments. One of my favorites is Kirk’s resistance to Sybok’s offer to face & relieve  his pain (as if we all had one singular episode, ha!) - he refuses. “I need my pain!” as he gives a mini-Kirk speech regarding our humanity.

I’ve also run through a series of podcasts which are “deep dives” into The Original Series - didn’t think it was possible for me to have a greater appreciation of Star Trek, but I do; it even gave me insight into some  episodes which (gasp!) I’ve never much cared for (several 3rd season episodes are marred by gaping plot holes & character inconsistencies). Anyway, I must convince myself that there is a “reason” for this terrible period of struggle in my life: career derailment, health issues, marital estrangement…

The plumbers were supposed to get revised estimates together last week, but we’re still waiting. The contractor was giving them “one last chance”, but we will move on to other options this week. I am exhausted from this miserable limbo of “Trailer Park Practice” - I want my damn building, my X-Ray equipment (flawed though it was, at least it was SOMETHING), and a *@#%& FLUSH TOILET. Sheesh!

Teaching Bonnie the tegu to be a lap lizard, watching TV with me. Tegus are smart & adaptable; she was scratching at her cage door last night when she heard my voice.

Tick Tock

 Another week has gone by - sitting here slurping my coffee, mildly bumfuddled as I caffeinate myself for my workday… One of those nights in which dogs & bladder got me up at 5 AM, I managed to fall back into a deep weird-dream episode right before my alarm was scheduled to go off. One of Val’s typical “searching for place and/or person” but in the PNW - I turned into the entrance of a national park, lined with lush vegetation & palm trees (!!!). It’s a shame there wasn’t enough time for my subconscious to explore this territory further.

But I did get to see some beautiful territory for real when my trail riders group went out to Wyatt Ranch at Glen Rose Saturday. Originally we had planned a mini campout, but with a threatening weather forecast we wound up just going for a day ride on Saturday (the thunderstorms rolled through Saturday night). I’ve decided I’m going to ride and enjoy Bo as much as I can - I’m kind of in limbo if Christina and Marty ever decide to take him back for their little girl to ride? Catie texted me last week, asking me if I was gonna bring Bo to Fort Stanton? I said that could be arranged… I mean, I understand if Christina and Marty don’t want the responsibility of Bo potentially having any other kind of health crisis, but it’s a risk you take with living animals! He ain’t a damn motorcycle.

MayDay

 Fortunately not in the sense of “Alarm!” but just a simple statement of fact - and it’s going to be another beautiful one.

I couldn’t have ordered better weather for my rides this weekend, even though Friday night was chilly & breezy - I blanketed the ponies at bedtime bcz Mommy was cold! Horse camp was overflowing, so I parked just outside the gate with several others. No big deal hiking a few extra steps to get to where the action was - fortunately John did not have need of my veterinary services; the threat of bad weather kept people away (we were still having scattered thunderstorms on Friday) so he was fine with 4 other veterinarians…

It’s just been so damn long since I actually accomplished what I set out to do, I’m still adjusting to the novel sensation of “triumph” this morning! I rode Bo on Saturday and Baraq on Sunday, repeating our 11 mile intro loop. On Saturday I fell in with a father/daughter team from OK; his older daughter was riding the 25 miler and lapped us when we were nearing the end of our trek. We took it very slow n’ easy in a little over 3 hrs - Bo did great. Then I was facing the true challenge: taking out my Little Bay Corvette (Baraquinator) Sunday morning with Sam on his first endurance event. Sam had been out of town, facing flight delays & frustration getting home Friday, so he almost opted out. He had originally planned on coming out Friday night as I did, volunteering** on Saturday & riding on Sunday - but he sent his apologies for Saturday, got a little extra rest at home, and came up Saturday afternoon.

**again, John had plenty of volunteers since attendance was sparse. Roughly 55 riders on Saturday, probably only 35-40 on Sunday at an event which in years past has drawn 100+ - partially due to threatening weather, but I’m sure fuel prices are keeping many folks closer to home…

I misunderstood Christina  - thought she was coming Saturday but she actually came for Sunday morning’s ride (she had pledged to ride one of Chris’s ponies). Her hubby brought his mustang, the kids too so Catie got to ride Bo with us. Of course he had no problem toting 75-lb Catie - I’m sure it felt like a vacation after me! Unfortunately, even being in our little group, Baraq still fought me every step of the way, jigging and tossing his head so I got an upper-body workout but I had tears of pride in my eyes when we finished up because Bo looked FABULOUS! We did Day 2 in about 2 hrs 45 minutes - to qualify for endurance pace we would’ve had to complete in 2:15 but I’m not complaining - more important is the fact we got everyone through safely. Christina and Chris were still out on trail when Sam and I packed up to come on home because as usual, I had many things to do. Not a word was spoken about Bo’s future, which is a bit of a head-scratcher but I’m not gonna press the matter - I loaded him up and brought him home with me! Watching him light out into the pasture when I turned them out was gratifying.

                                  I don't think Bo had ever been blanketed, but as always he was a good boy

                                                             Looks like $11K to me ;-) !!!

                          John provided hog noses & medallions to all junior competitors

Four vs Six Minutes

 At one of the last memorable 50’s I completed on Baraq, Lucy and I turned back towards camp too soon and wound up having to go back out in the dark out and do the correct segment of trail, finishing up with only four minutes to spare!

So of course Val found the Madonna song “4 Minutes” and played it incessantly for a while - hey, it’s a catchy tune and I like Madonna anyway! Just another tune in my eclectic jukebox collection…

https://youtu.be/aAQZPBwz2CI

I don’t know what theme song I’m going to use for my Rocky-montage style exercise rehab program. My day didn’t get off to a good start yesterday morning when I showed up at my old Life Sciences building instead of the shiny new science & engineering building across the street. I eventually figured it out by squinting at the map a little harder - a grad student was waiting for me in the lobby but no one was answering the phone since the professor was out of town! They drew my blood & had me answer some questionnaires, I signed their release forms and then we went next door to their physiology lab which was full of gym equipment: treadmills, exercise bikes and the like. I fully expected to march on the treadmill but instead we left the lab and went out to the outer hallway, where the girl set up cones for me to walk a 30-yard length of corridor as many times as I could in six minutes. I guess this was supposed to make it more like real world conditions? I broke a light sweat, was a little breathless but achieved 1000 steps. They fitted me with a clunky activity monitor on my wrist and a CGM; I’m supposed to carry on as usual for the next two weeks, then I go back to find out if I’ve been selected for the interventional part of the study which will mean a graded exercise program with coaching via text messaging.

It was nice to see my old campus with its shiny new buildings as well as old familiar places. This display with a reticulated python skeleton and various species of sea turtle skulls & shells has been there since I was an undergrad (that's 40+ years folks! Might be time for an update)

Took V out for her 25th BD Tues night

Baby Steps

 …are the buzzwords of FlyLady, whose home-organizational advice I’ve imperfectly followed for years.

 I took two more “baby steps” for myself: I’ll be returning to my undergrad alma mater (UT Arlington) Thursday morning to participate in a research study for cancer survivors. I will be fitted with a CGM & receive an activity tracker, have a Dexa scan, then come back at 2-wk intervals. (I think it’s a 12-wk program) I hope this program will help me jumpstart my completely deconditioned self… I’m tired of being breathless after simply marching from one end of my barn to the other!
Then Thursday afternoon I’ve scheduled a follow-up with my doctor to see if she has any more bright ideas?
Monday night my poor mom locked herself out of her cottage when she walked across the street to visit her neighbor. Yippee for any attempt at socialization, boo at her shame and humiliation for making this mistake, although of course we reassured her that stuff like this happens to everyone! Her next-door neighbor was with her when I pulled up; he had called the front office but no one had ambled down yet - I’m glad I stopped by. John said he had tried to call me but mom must have not dictated my number to him correctly because my phone had not rung? But now I have John’s phone number, thankfully, and I will get him a copy of mom‘s door key.

Another sweaty restless night - stretched things out as long as I could this morning, but gotta get moving with my workday. In other better news, the City of Ferris finally approved my permits so for the low low fees totaling a little over $9K**, hopefully I will see a work crew this morning!

**$4K to the City, $4K to the architect, another K in miscellaneous costs incurred by my contractor - he brought me a pile o’ receipts and I wrote the man a check, I’ll go through ‘em later!

Well Said

 Again, **JUST** when I'm ready to delete FB, quit devoting any precious irreplaceable time & effort to this social media juggernaut, I come across a post which helps clarify my own situation. (This is a response to colleague in my single-moms group - her husband has decompensated in his mental health over these past 4 years and doesn't seem invested in helping himself or his marriage. She is considering building herself a "She Shack" since she doesn't want to divorce or abandon him, nor does she want to vacate her home & property - sounds as if she may have a hobby farm like my own? Her young adult children are guilt-tripping her, but "in sickness & in health" is not a helpless "Get Out of Jail Free" card.)

I've made many grim, not-entirely-satirical jokes in the past when P & I were having our worst difficulties, that he loved my farm more than he loved ME...

"If you are miserable with him, and you think living apart from him will make you happier, then staying married isn’t likely to work out long term. At this point, the only real reason for you to stay together is because neither of you wants to lose your property, and you can’t base a marriage on “neither of us wants to leave our property.” Honestly, it sounds like that’s the ONLY reason you have left to stay married to your husband, as you are miserable with him and clearly want to move out. But you can’t stay in a miserable marriage forever just so neither of you has to leave your property. Is it worth it to have your property but be unhappy for the rest of your life? I wouldn’t think so. What good does property do you if you spend every day totally miserable with the person you are married to and living with?

You only have one life to live. No one deserves to spend it with someone who is making them miserable. You’ve spent 4 years fighting for the relationship you used to have with your husband; how many more years are you willing to sacrifice and spend unhappy? At some point, you need to live YOUR life, and do what is right for yourself. Don’t live in misery for the sake of doing what other people want you to do, even if those people are your own kids. More than anyone else, they should want you to be happy. Don’t feel guilty for not being able to make everyone around you happy, and instead focus on doing the right thing for YOU. Big hugs… doing what is right for yourself can be so hard sometimes, but in the long run, it will be the one decision you won’t regret. "

Occasional Miracles

 …are known to occur, which I should be all the more grateful for, considering my generally crappy luck here lately!

The rescue of Tweedledum from jaws-of-death Tyson (remarkable that he kept his ear which got thoroughly chomped, suffered punctures & bruising to neck which also healed up without lasting damage), Bo’s colic surgery (I know our methods and technology have greatly improved in my lifetime - I’ve had a handful of serious colics over my course of owning horses, yet Bo is my sole survivor), Tigre’s return after a week in The Great Outdoors, and most recently, my recapture of Enola the blue-tongued skink (she’d been roaming the Mesquite house for three weeks).

Enola had been living in a home built wooden cage with sliding plexiglass doors on the front - on a previous occasion, she had managed to squirm through an opening but was only out for a few hours as Zach was still in residence. I had set a small live trap baited with canned cat food but I wasn’t even sure if she had sufficient body mass to trip the trigger? Each time I came by the house to feed rats, fish, snakes and her mate Alfred, my heart sank as I saw the untouched trap. It was horrible to think of this tropical creature slowly dying in the unfriendly environment of north Texas.

But last night, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I walked into the bedroom and saw the trap was closed! And Enola herself was wearily curled up in the far end, smeared with stinky cat food (I had to bathe her). I triumphantly carried her home where she is sharing the tortoise tub until we get her a more secure habitat - I can’t do this again!

So this morning I am also celebrating by taking a short ride on Bo, even though it’s three days shy of his 90 day postop recovery period. I’m feeling reckless 😊

(My photos are completely jumbled up but I’ll get one transferred from my phone so you can admire this snaky lizard for yourself)

                                                                The Prisoner is recaptured 

                                                        Enola had little appreciation for her bath