Deliverance

 (aka, “Val can rarely bend the universe to her will“)

This movie made a great impression on me as a youngster: it seemed to be often in rotation on late-night TV, which I watched while my parents were enjoying their Game Night festivities with my older cousins. Come to think of it, I probably watched a lot of inappropriate things at a fairly young & impressionable age!?! (I accompanied my folks on their excursions to my cousin's house until I was 11 or 12 yrs old, at which point I was granted the great privilege of "Home Alone" status) What made the most impression on me as a kid was the awesome power of the river: it hurt me worse when Burt Reynold’s character broke his leg, rendering him helpless, than the infamous rape scene. (Don’t get me wrong - that was difficult to watch, too!) And poor drowned Drew with his arm pretzeled around the back of his head - a party trick Ronny Cox was able to do by subluxating his own shoulder...

It took me several attempts to read the book but I finally did - one of the few times I have judged the cinematic version to be superior to the literary experience! Yesterday was an experience in frustration & the general uncooperativeness of the universe, even though I did get a few things done; my day did not unfold neatly as it should - what a laugh, huh??

I had my long-awaited appointment w/the cardiologist yesterday (I was grateful when I made the appt 5 wks ago that it wasn't an urgent situation!?!) - I cleared my Thurs morning schedule "just in case" we needed to proceed with a full cardiac workup. Silly me, as it turned out, all they did was an ECG; I'm scheduled next week for a stress test, & sometime in Sept for an echocardiogram. I had hoped to see Z & deliver his few paltry souvenirs from NM, but he had gone to take an aptitude exam for the Navy? Not that I think the Navy would be a bad choice, kinda following in his grandfather's footsteps, but somehow I don't envision my son as a career sailor...

"He Still Hasn't Found What He's Looking For"

In other news, Tina Fea's condition waxes & wanes - I really though I might be making a hard decision today, but she's brightened up a bit & has regained 2 oz. As long as it looks like she wants to live, I'll keep trying this n' that.

Reality Check

 So once again, I’m bummed out as I have failed to keep up the pace during my 4th attempt to complete a 25-mi event this year… This week I will complete my 8-week course of PT for my back, which has been helpful for my comfort level even if not so much for my fitness. Also, early Thursday morning I go to see the cardiologist although I have no great hopes that he has much to offer me (just following through).

Last night as I wallowed in self-pity, I printed out my complete endurance riding history, which of course has been far from perfect! This season I am batting 0.200 as I have attempted 5 rides but only completed a single one successfully (February’s San Antonio event: mild weather & a great comfortable pace on the first loop, riding with my friend Kathy) But other than my failure to keep up the pace on Thursday, my summer pilgrimage to New Mexico was overall a net positive - even as I describe the bumps in the road!

Christina had previously told me that Catie would be unable to go as she was up to her earlobes in band activities, but she texted me on the 4th to say that Catie could come after all. Great! I only had to do some minor repacking &, most importantly, find a farrier for Baraq as my new guy had already come & gone the previous week. Thankfully, it all worked out as Hope (fellow rider & amateur farrier) would be attending (isn’t her name appropriate?)

I had already planned for myself to attempt the 25-miler on Thursday, have Friday off for my R&R, & just do the Intro ride on Saturday as I knew I would be starting my return trip. Thankfully I was able to transfer Catie to my friend Kathy on Friday for sponsorship** as she was going for her 3-day Pioneer ride. (They had a great time)

** all junior riders under the age of 16 must have an adult sponsor

I drove all the way there Tuesday so we would have a full day Wednesday to relax & recuperate (& get Baraq shod as I mentioned above). I had just stretched out for a brief nap mid day, but then poor Tina Fea fell off the bunk & suffered a grand mal seizure. She scared the heck out of Catie, nor did it make me feel good either - one category of medications I do not carry in my emergency kit are anticonvulsants! I made do the best I could with sedatives - what I could not answer is the chicken-or-egg question: did she start to have a seizure & fall out of the bunk, or fall from the bunk & hit her head to trigger the seizure? The ominous wildcard factor is that she has developed acute glaucoma in her right eye, which could be a sign of an underlying tumor…

At any rate, my poor baby continues to struggle, but I will not allow her to linger if the situation appears hopeless. Her appetite is poor, she’s lost more weight which she couldn’t afford in the first place! & when I got her back to the clinic to run some bloodwork, her kidney function is in decline…

I rode the Intro Saturday with an old friend Dawn, who was very nervous riding her green colt - but as it turned out, Twoie was the one who dumped me when we approached the tunnel under the highway coming back to camp. (He was startled by another rider’s sudden appearance) No harm, no foul as I landed upside down on the slope - I joked with Dawn that it was another unofficial bone density test! (Dawn is about my age & has had her fair share of injuries too)

I didn’t take very many pictures but here’s a few:

Don’t disturb the napping teenager!

Another Loop on the Rollercoaster

 Whelp it’s kinda like TX weather - all I’ve gotta do is wait a little bit… Z called me yesterday  evening all bummed out & telling me he’s “Done”. (He’s had 2 therapy sessions, to see how he got along w/2 different therapists. Part of it is frustration on all the time “wasted” on filling in history - the simplest question of “Where are you from?” is complicated since Z was a “homeless” child of divorce. He never knew life outside of fractured households since M divorced me when Z was 11 mos old) I don’t know what to tell him, other than apologizing while offering to pay for said therapy?

While I must admit, I was never impressed w/V: I thought she was superficial, immature & very high-maintenance - I still wanted Z to find love & I cannot shoehorn him into my expectations. He seemed to find purpose in months past, trying to make V happy. But life can’t be an endless series of vacations, restaurant meals, & shopping trips…

Z was meeting his friend Josef (who served dual purpose as Best Man & “Bridesman” - what do you call a male bridal attendant? - since Josef is friends w/both of them) for dinner, so I hope his input is helpful…