Done for in Less Than 60 Minutes

  (Hat tip to “Gone in 60 Seconds”, that dreadful Nicolas Cage film - while I’ve enjoyed NC in many other movies, that was not one of ‘em!)

But my brain suggests these little segues as I plodded wearily back to camp Saturday morning - I should’ve known the beautiful Priefert Ranch was not the best venue for Baraq to behave himself. Many parts of the trail consist of looping around the perimeter of their pastures, which means B-boy could see the front runners - of course he wanted to catch them! The head-tossing and jigging I could put up with, and I count it as an upper-body workout when he tries to dislocate my shoulders pulling against me, but the last straw was when he executed a perfect flat reining spin when we had stopped at a water tank before crossing a bridge.  (I wanted him to pause and let the other riders go on - he, of course, wanted to pursue them) I wish John the photographer had video capability because I was proud of myself for riding that episode out! but in the end I decided discretion was the better part of valor (not that I ever HAD a margin for injury but I especially can’t afford to get thrown off and injure myself these days!), so I dismounted & took the shortcut back to camp - leading him in hand for about half a mile before he let me remount and do our Walk of Shame, coming in The Wrong Way back into camp.

And this sharp pain just occurred to me - perhaps Christina didn’t tell me that her husband was riding his mustang in the intro (one loop) Saturday morning because he wouldn’t have wanted my company? Not that I blame him when Baraq is doing his best fiery-steed impression, but still, that stings if that was the case… Christina had ridden one of CL’s horses Friday & never mentioned anything about riding Baraq or anyone else of mine, so perhaps she had agreed to crew for her hubby?**

My FB friend Belinda whom I met IRL last weekend had attempted her first 55 mile ride on Friday -unfortunately she was pulled; her gelding was exhausted and colicky Friday night & wound up having to have him treated with IV fluids. But she’s already making plans for their next ride, as am I…

I guess I’m just stuck with the mule for competitive events: I seem to have this Sophie‘s Choice of either dealing with bad behavior IN camp or bad behavior out on trail! But at least I got in a good visit with my cousins Saturday afternoon - my poor cousin Joe is increasingly stove-up as a lifetime of hard work & injuries is catching up to him. 

** when I mentioned this painful dilemma to another friend, she remarked that perhaps this silent treatment is God’s way of letting me know who needs to be in my life? I know I have a bad tendency to give too much, to over-share, to play a little bit of the martyr just like my mom.

Half a day’s work today and then dealing with a funeral this afternoon. Time to saddle up.

Givin’ It All Away

 …my precious irreplaceable time, that is! Yet as I stare into the inscrutable depths of my coffee cup (the swirling clouds in my coffee from the cream that I will never sacrifice - I’ve trained myself to give up sugar in coffee & tea, but can’t force down black coffee), I know I will never reject any opportunity (no matter how “opportunistic”**) to spend time with my son.

** Z is angling for a “new used” car - his grandfather’s 2012 Impala is likely approaching the end of its useful lifespan, especially since Z has to buck traffic on the north side of town. It hasn’t stranded him yet, but I’d prefer to be proactive. 

Once again, I’ll never regret just hanging out: helping Z assemble his new cat tree, sharing lunch w/him & his GF, even yes, bucking the inevitable traffic as we traverse the Metroplex to look at a few prospects. We ended up at Hertz Rental Sales (where I bought my baby Buick), but Z had his eye on a Honda Pilot & a Dodge Durango - I couldn’t interest him in a clone of my lil’ car!

This gave me just enough daylight when I got home to get the horse trailer hitched and backed up to the barn. Gotta work most of the day today so I can shove off a little early this afternoon and hopefully make it to Priefert Ranch before sunset. I’ve decided to make it slightly easier on myself by taking Baraq (never heard anything from Christina) A FB friend is attempting her first 55 miler today and will hopefully be able to ride a moderate 25 miler with me mañana. If we start at the back of the pack it shouldn’t be too ridiculous. And after the ride I’ll trek over to my cousins - about 30 miles away - it’ll be great to see them.

I was awake off and on since 3 AM worrying about all I need to do to get myself on the road this afternoon, I doubt I will ever learn that worrying about something doesn’t make it any better. Another week’s delay on remodeling since my contractor has to go file a permit with the county for the septic system - I suspect they may require me to dig it up and put in a new improved one.

The Power of Yin

 Last night my butt was still draggin’, but I forced myself to drive into Ennis for Tues-night yoga…

I could subtitle this "How the Mighty Hath Fallen" since Tues night USED to be Power Yoga with Master Bruce. But slower-paced Yin Yoga has its own benefits: "Yin Yoga is slow-paced style of yoga as exercise, incorporating principles of traditional Chinese medicine, with asanas (postures) that are held for longer periods of time than in other styles."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yin_Yoga

I told myself all I had to do was show up: if I needed to, I could take child’s pose (which is always advised as a resting posture). Fortunately we stayed on the floor, concentrating on hips, shoulders, and lower back. My stomach grumbled throughout class, and I decided I wanted tortilla soup for my belated dinner. By the time I limped on home (quick stop at Tractor Supply for supplemental feed), I was feeling the effects of this minor day of exertion - I had also made a quickie gym visit over my lunch hour; my goal is to make a habit of that again.

I took some ibuprofen with my bedtime supplements and actually got some decent sleep. This morning I feel “looser”, more relaxed & less stiff n’ creaky than I am most days. And I don’t feel such a sense of doom as I contemplate today's To Do list! Guess I did get some endorphins flowing. If anything gets me back into my regular exercise habits, I need to refer to this blog entry. For years I’ve depended on my “3-legged stool” of diet, exercise, and adequate sleep to keep my depression & anxiety at bay - as I visualize a bright ray of hope, as brilliant as this morning’s sunshine.

I should be able to get one more ball python shipped to her new home (cyber-friend in NC), go by to feed fish & rodents, and do welfare checks on the rest of the reptiles remaining in Mesquite. Z has 2 tests coming up, so once again I won’t pressure him. My “living arrow” must fly his own way as he negotiates the quicksand of Modern Romance (dramatic cycles with his GF are not my problem! I’m happy to lend a listening ear, offer some advice if he’ll take it, but a lot of things Mom can no longer fix these days)

                                                   I know I’ve posted this before, an old fave!

                                                        Isn’t she a beauty?

Tinfoil vs Magnesium

 As I lay awake during my regularly scheduled middle-of-the-night anxiety session, I came to the conclusion that this feels like biting into tinfoil… I force myself to unclench my jaw, breath deeply, do my body-scan relaxation techniques (tensing & relaxing muscles), a few stretches.

But I did unearth a new bottle of magnesium glycinate which I had stashed under bathroom counter - a big win for me as I didn’t make it by the health food store yesterday. City offices were closed for an extension of their Easter holiday - good for them, I suppose - delaying any news of my permit approval by another day. (Note to self: nudge my attorney again today to see if she has any news)

My retired office manager Pat’s husband passed away early Easter Sunday after a long neurodegenerative illness capped off by lung cancer. I am relieved both of their ordeals have ended, but Pat won’t be able to make arrangements until Wednesday. I’ve already proclaimed that whatever happens, we will close the clinic if need be to go support our Patricia (her children damn sure haven’t - when her no-account son gave the excuse last week that he couldn’t come down bcz he didn’t have a vehicle, I said I’ll pay for his Uber! but he finally managed to show up Saturday to see his father alive one last time)

As I told my girls yesterday, seems like all I do these days is mail out sympathy cards - whether for my own patients or humans! I opted out of Pilates class last night since my stomach remains unsettled, not worth the potential humiliation. And here it is Tuesday (when I awaken, my mental gears spin like a little slot machine until they settle on the correct day) and I have heard nothing from Christina; I plan on getting trailer packed & hitched up Thursday, backed up to the barn in readiness to haul out Friday night. While I’m happy to haul Baraq for her to ride, I’m not going to harass her - if I don’t hear from her, I might take him for my own self? It’s a case of picking my poison: race-brained Arab or obstreperous mule…

Wish I could be as blissfully unconcerned as my puppies

Weakness vs Strength

 I don’t want this to turn into a Misery Calculator of Val’s Troubles (physical, personal, professional) but I do want to notate this peculiar period in my Progression of Long Covid:

I started the new “Spike Protein” supplement (basically 4-in-1, trying to reduce number of little bottles on my bathroom counter) about 3 wks ago. For the past 7-10 days, I have had the strange sensation of “heaviness” in my legs, worse with the R leg - with intermittent pains localized in shin, thigh, & hip (large muscle groups). On multiple occasions I’ve had to take ibuprofen or Tylenol (I’ve been alternating ‘em) at night to help me sleep. I am stiff & painful when I start moving, and warm up out of it to a certain extent - but certainly prefer to be stationary for the most part! (Most of my research on long Covid centers the vital importance of “rest” - not overdoing it - so I am also becoming a master of pacing)

I got up Saturday feeling rather rough, but forced myself to get out and meet my friend Sam for a short ride. Gray and gloomy in the morning, the sun came out in the afternoon and gave us a beautiful day. I don’t know if I’ve got it in me to plod through 25 miles next weekend but by God, I’m gonna try!

I also managed to put a fairly decent spread for Easter dinner on my table - my son had requested home cooking. I bought a pre-cooked brisket but did scalloped potatoes, green bean casserole, glazed carrots, & deviled eggs. Bought a pecan pie & made a new lemon tart recipe with P in mind. 

I even managed to get my mom out for the entire afternoon, which has been unprecedented for her even though she was fretting about leaving her little dog at home - Abby doesn’t like to travel!

But now I’ve got to continue to pace myself carefully to get through this busy workday; it was a sweaty, restless night. It’s weird because I go to bed slightly chilled but then spend the rest the night sweating and flinging the covers off and on like some sort of demented fan dancer.

The Weakest Link

 In my case, my weak links are my GI tract & my bad back… I’ve been suffering from low-grade GI upset, “irregularity”, and bloating for the past week (not that it’s put off my appetite; weight is precisely stable) - and last night I staggered home with my back “locked up” after Another Stressful Workday. I cranked my bathroom heater back on, stretched out on the floor and did the yoga I was able to do which helped a great deal to loosen things up.

Even slept fairly decent, until more thunderstorms rolled through at 5 AM & I was beset by anxious dogs!

But as minor proof that miracles do happen, I found Zach’s cat Tigre safe n’ sound after almost a week’s adventure in The Great Outdoors. He escaped from Z’s arms when he was moving the cats to the Irving house while disregarding his mother’s sage advice to CONFINE THEM IN A CARRIER! Otis scratched Z badly, and Tigre ran away. I didn’t have the heart to write about what I feared was another family loss - but I left a back window open when I was there last Thursday and sure enough, when I went by last night (foregoing yoga for animal care), there was Tigre back in the living room!

Tigre was the tiny abandoned kitten whom Zach rescued from his back alley at "maybe" 5 wks of age. I suspect his feral mom was moving her kittens, was startled & dropped him, running off & leaving him behind. In subsequent weeks, Zach scooped up 3 of Tigre's siblings - he wound up keeping Otis (orange tabby), and Gloria (tabby/tortie), but the other orange brother escaped shortly after I got these kittens vaccinated & neutered. We've seen him here & there but Zach could never recapture him. I took Gloria home with me a couple of weeks ago to see if she could fill the void in our Lucius's life after losing his adoptive brother Severus, but so far they have staked out opposite corners of the house, no family integration yet!

I triumphantly bundled him up and delivered him to Irving myself - Zach didn’t understand my “Candygram for Mongo” message until I pulled up the YouTube clip for him:

https://youtu.be/tH6_kasOHac

Zach assures me he will clean snake tubs today - there has been Trouble in Paradise with the kids but obviously there are some things Mommy cannot fix. They went to couples counseling last week which Z reported didn’t go too great with V’s histrionic personality. Sometimes you point a finger, but the other three are pointing squarely back at YOU?!? 

Zach was trying to call me off last night - “No, not a good time Mom” but all I wanted to do was hand off the cat & make the trek back across town myself. If that was too intrusive of me, mea culpa but I knew Z would be happy to get his little monster back (& he was; he’d been complaining how Otis kept crying for his brother & I knew no other remedy)

Bare Minimum Housekeeping

 …as in, I am fed, animals are fed, kitchen is reasonably clean as I try to overlook the dust bunnies & floating drifts of pet hair (“The housekeeper is coming Wed”). My one minor chore accomplished: changing my sweaty bedsheets! after probably well over 2 wks. Does anyone use the term “slattern” anymore? I apply to myself in the sense of anti-Martha Stewart, not in a sexual promiscuity sense…

I “gave away” another weekend, hauling a short distance to stand by as emergency treatment vet at my friend’s competitive trail event. (I’ve done this for her for three years now) NATRC (North American Trail Ride Conference) is the sister sport of endurance; many riders compete in both disciplines so I am warmly welcomed - they keep trying to draw me over, but it’s just a little too regimented for me! It’s called the “horse show in the woods” as participants are judged on how they keep their camp, how they handle their horse, and then every other aspect of their horsemanship as they ride past obstacles on the trail. I cringed inwardly as I mentally compared these riders’ immaculate gear to my own well-worn, sweat-encrusted equipment. They even manage to keep their clothing clean for the most part!

https://natrc.org/

Everyone was in a hurry to get things wrapped up Sunday afternoon so we could head home ahead of forecasted bad weather - fortunately, most of it seem to pass to the north of us. I got home shortly after 3 PM - I should’ve gone to check on my mom and then by Mesquite to check on Zach’s animals but I did not since the weather warnings kept beeping and buzzing! I called it ”enforced leisure”.

Still like feel like I’m behind the eight ball a bit this morning, but got to get on with things.