26 short years ago, I was closely monitoring every twitch of my full-term uterus as I marched around my house, obsessing about everything being “just right” for the arrival of Baby Zach. While I had absolutely zero control over the fact that my husband had lost his ever-loving mind**, I could control my own environment! Our little farmhouse has the master bedroom on the ground floor with two bedrooms upstairs - while my ex and I didn’t agree on much, we did agree that would be an awkward scenario for an infant. So we put our dining room table and chairs in storage and set up the nursery in the dining room. This actually worked out great, even though I wound up moving Zach into the master bedroom with me in his bassinet eventually.
** my suspicions were correct; M had taken up with Sue when I was about two months pregnant but at this point he was still denying everything - “she was just a friend“
I had painstakingly arranged three weeks of maternity leave for myself - my ob/gyn had given me false hope that I might deliver early, so I started my maternity leave that first week of June. My calculated due date was June 7 & fortunately I started having real contractions the evening of June 8. Let me not bore you with a play-by-play description - fast-forward to present day!
Zach got another job offer from the City of Dallas, which is where he believes his best opportunities lie. He really liked the supervisor there, who is an honest-to-God industrial chemist. He has started the onboarding process for the City, going for his physical, drug tests and so forth - I don’t know if he has made his apologies to Quest Diagnostics yet? I advised him to go ahead and rip off that Band-Aid because he was supposed to start there June 17th. Zach was fearful of being pigeonholed at their lab. What does Mom know about the wide, wide world of chemistry? My career path seemed simpler. (Z also consulted with his professor, who recommended the City’s position)
The only drawback to working for Dallas will be the schedule (although not really! it’s a better schedule in my opinion): Monday thru Friday, 7:30 AM to 4:30 PM. Poor Victoria is stuck on her half-day shifts (3 PM - 3 AM) for the time being. I don’t want to joke about absence making the heart grow fonder or anything - just have to trust them to work it out.
I had just been accepted to veterinary school when Michael and I started seriously dating - that kind of jumpstarted our decision to get married, because my parents certainly didn’t approve of cohabitation. Originally we were going to maintain a commuter marriage because Michael was working for Dallas County in their utility and maintenance district at Las Colinas - I find it the height of irony that his son is also starting out as a municipal employee. (Zach tried to speak to his father about these choices - not surprisingly, he was busy! May he rot in hell)
At any rate, newlyweds only seeing each other on the weekends only lasted about three months - Michael decided to resign and talked his father into helping him out so he could come back to school full-time at Texas A&M to finish out his bachelors degree.
I hope this is the start of a fabulous career for my son: “Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards” (not that mine seems to make a lot of sense anyway!)
I took Aphrodite to work yesterday for a check up - she is much stronger but has not gained any weight. I hope this is a change in body composition but I will amp up her feeding schedule to see if I can grow her up a little faster!
Aphrodite is one lucky little 'gator! And best wishes to Zach in his next phase of life. I swear it's not easy as the mom, knowing what we know and watching our sons (or daughters) making those long-lasting decisions. But, we remind ourselves, it's THEIR life, and their choice to make, and unless they ask for our advice...
ReplyDeleteHave a good weekend!
Being asked for advice is flattering, but it’s also a case where Zach needs to hear from a wide variety of viewpoints - that’s part of what makes it so frustrating when his father opts out of parenting! I fielded half-a-dozen calls last Thursday when all this drama was going down - of course, while I didn’t mind it in the least, this is exactly where another parent to tag-team ya comes in handy…
Delete(Val)
"Just a friend". Pfffttt. Kind of supports my feeling, reinforced by the few men I have trusted in my life, that men and women can't be friends. According to most of the men I know, men are not hard-wired to pay any attention to women they are not attracted to unless they are getting paid for it or are desperately horny. "When Harry Met Sally". A lot of women are the same, though I do know women who don't mind a challenge, a "fixer upper". I have never been so inclined where men are concerned. If they are wearing high waters, crocs, a mullet, and a v-neck t-shirt with some goofy saying on it, I figure they are beyond my ability to rescue.
ReplyDeleteSo nice that Zach has 2 choices for jobs!! Sounds like Zach is making a wise decision. I would love the hours!! Would hate Victoria's hours but maybe she can get something that works out better later on.
My parents and grandparents didn't approve of co-habitation either but my mom ended up doing it and my dad slept with everything that moved. I was a virgin when I married my first husband. I chose to co-habitation between my 1st and 2nd marriage with 2nd hubby. For 12 years we did so. Two of them I was just separated from my first hubby as he didn't want a divorce since he could use me as an excuse of why he couldn't marry his latest squeezes. I had told 2nd hubby I would marry him if we stayed together for 10 years thinking that would well be past the point of either of us putting up with the other. So 10 years to the day I got my divorce we were married.
Aphrodite is so cute!! Benny thinks she looks vicious. LOL.
Loved the last meme!! LOL.