…is what this blog is to me: a way to sort things out in my foggy lil’ head, and perhaps feel there is some purpose & direction to this plod through life? Or perhaps an anchor is a better metaphor: a way to preserve memories, to prove that I’ve been here & accomplished a few things, even though the current course appears insurmountable, a steep rocky path winding up through the wilderness, trudging towards an uncertain destination…
Just as Saturday’s mini-reverie about our trip to CA was a pleasant distraction: after all, 5 yrs ago Zach was trying to get his derailed college career back on track, having moved out due to ongoing conflict w/Peran. I was strung perhaps “slightly” more thin, making my rounds between farm, clinic, my parents, and Z’s new apartment. That carousel never stops spinning, does it?
2 weeks from today I will hit the big 6-0; no big plans outside of survival. Met my trail riders crew for a nice brunch yesterday & I know they’ll scheme up something! I kept my sticky fingers off my phone, and Z didn’t call. Gotta “leave that boy alone”. He had called me Sat night to vent - Victoria didn’t stand up for him when her grandfather jumped Z’s ass over an off-color joke. I almost called Andy myself to explain that Z comes by his dark sense of humor honestly - he’s inherited a double dose from both me & his father! But I kept out of it; Z’s a grownup now & needs to manage his own relationships. He might have left V at her GP’s (which is only 1.5 mi up the road; if necessary, she could certainly walk it) overnight since he left the conflict, but at this point I honestly don’t know? I’m sure if there had been a major meltdown I’d have heard about it - I kept my phone close by during brunch yesterday just in case.
My friend Carla’s mom is a little farther down the path than my own mother (just enrolled in hospice care) - she had bought her this baby doll a little too late, so she gave it to me. Mom liked her!
I think it’s great that her outfit is color-coordinated with Mom’s, that worked out nicely
I also like to write things down and save them as a means of reminding myself who I am and where I have been as life is often not about me much. I'm not sure who I even am sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI hope that your riding friends do come up with something special for your birthday. And that Peran and Zack both do the same.
Zack will learn, as he is more firmly into the V relationship, that in-laws are not really family and don't suffer from what we call unconditional love for their in-law family. When thrust into in-law family gatherings one needs to have a role that one assumes, sort of like one you would assume when meeting with your protestant minister. You wear appropriate non-sexual attire. You use your best manners. The minister gives the sermon, you do the listening, you do the adoring. Jokes? No. LOL.
Loved the pictures. Cowgirls do seem to have fun. Great picture of your mom.
Understand the blogging as a means of working through things, too. I may not have as much to work through now as I did back when I was working... and the blogs start to become "less", and now "fewer". Happy Birthday up-coming, in case I don't "see" you before it arrives!
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