ROI

 The 2nd day after exertion is always worse than the first; when will I ever learn?!?

But this morning has me seriously questioning my motivations - I knew it would be a tough haul in such a short time frame, going to New Mexico; feeling as if I’m swimming through molasses this morning makes me doubt if all the time and money invested was worth it?

It was a strange feeling to have our normal weeklong event compressed into three days - Baraq (unsurprisingly) was full of himself on Day 1 so I had to quit at 14.5 miles because “the thrill was gone”! I had reserved Friday as my day of rest to drive around to Ruidoso & do some sightseeing (lots of photos I’ll download later), and downgraded to a single Intro loop on Saturday. Luckily for me it was my favorite trail at Ft Stanton, the Homestead loop. Baraq knows the difference between a competitive event and a pleasure ride so Saturday was much better…

I had planned to go partway home Saturday afternoon but was dismayed to see a flat on my truck when I started packing. This meant a couple of hours’ delay while I got roadside assistance out to help me - I should’ve had just enough time to get into Roswell and have the flat fixed, but there was an accident at the highway intersection that delayed me long enough that they had closed!  I felt pretty good (still riding a minor high from my successful  ride completion) and decided to haul all the way home.

No problems until I was on the outskirts of the Metroplex  -  about 2:30 in the morning a trailer tire blew out and I couldn’t bust the lug nuts free, so I had to wait another two hours to get a man out with a power wrench. Got home about 5:30 AM, collapsed for a few hours’ nap, & actually didn’t feel too terrible for most of Sunday. Went to reassure my poor mother who is trying her best to crawfish out of this move - “Tell them your mother’s crazy!” she has begged. If I get  through these next two weeks with my sanity intact, it will be a minor miracle…

This is where the value of New Mexico comes in: I can soothe myself with the memories of my all-too-brief excursions on those high desert plains.

And today I should find out if I had any success with my economic development grant from the City of Ferris, which may prevent my financial house of cards from collapsing. The city manager’s secretary texted me on Wednesday asking if I could have a teleconference with the city manager on Thursday - I told her I would be available after 2 PM but never got a reply? However that is all too typical of the way this little town seems to do business. It was almost preferable back in the early days when we really were incommunicado in the desert.

Christina flew out Thursday to ride one of Chris’s horses Friday - I offered to let her ride Baraq on Saturday but she graciously declined. I didn’t sleep too well Friday night because I wasn’t used to having a trailer guest!

                Sunday morning’s nap wasn’t too bad for a “half measure”

Old Dog Lacking New Tricks

 … as my packing and loading for NM sputters along in its normal haphazard fashion. A few spatters of rain this morning disrupting the process, but at least it’s keeping the temperatures cooler! Still no word from Christina so I will call or text her this evening; I’ve gone ahead & added Bo to my health certificate/entry permit since that doesn’t cost me anything. I might haul him anyway just to be a buddy for Baraq…

I had the best intentions of going into town for my friend Shana’s yoga class yesterday morning, but I just didn’t sleep well enough Friday night - couldn’t get moving! Her cousin is my friend Janay (one of these days it’s gonna line up for us to meet up at yoga), so she invited me to their family luncheon. It might’ve been a pity move but I ain’t proud! and as it turns out Shana’s mom lives in Rockwall which was like 15 minutes away from the rescue person I’ve been dealing with in rehoming the ball pythons. Nothing like killing two birds with one stone - I got five snakes relocated and also got to see my friends. Shana’s mom is housebound in a wheelchair; Janay transported Aunt Shelley’s older brother (Uncle David) from his nursing home facility in Plano - he can just barely move with a walker & many groans & curses. It was like an R-rated version of Tim Conway’s little old man routine! We now have a new inside joke as he called Janay’s Yorkie “that little f**ker”. Janay, of course, has heard all my tales of woe ongoing in my challenges with my mother - whom I had to go check on thereafter. 

I’ve texted DS three times over these past three days which I don’t believe is excessive? No response. No doubt he will be furious with me when he sees there are only five snakes remaining at Mesquite, but I’ve done what I believe is morally & ethically correct.  I’m going to make arrangements with the lawn guy to feed and water the rats while I’m gone, because I obviously can’t count on my son. When I return, I will disperse the rest of the snakes and the rat colony. I have given Zach fair warning, but if he does not make arrangements for Claude the beaded lizard, I shall take her home with me and he won’t see her again unless he comes to visit her on Sugar Ridge! All these years I thought I was a snake person but I am pretty darn fond of these lizards. Thankfully I have heard no protest from my husband about these extra reptiles in the house. I’m training Bonnie the tegu to Netflix & chill with Mom.

Friday’s Child

 I snapped awake at 5:58 AM after an intense dream sequence, absolutely convinced of the fact that it was MONDAY - somehow I had lost 3 d and I was in a minor panic. I had to look at my phone before Stupid Brain would admit that it was, in fact, FRIDAY so things were gonna be alright… I mean, I never complete all that I intend to accomplish on my presumed “day off”, but I should still be on track to escape next Tuesday.

Strange coincidence was that my Thurs night Star Trek episode was “Friday’s Child”, not one of the  great ones IMHO but especially after my podcast studies, still eminently watchable! I don’t recall where the title came from - Kirk, Spock, & McCoy protect the chieftain of a primitive warring tribe’s widow; McCoy delivers her baby who will become the leader: Leonard James Ak’Kaar. Why was Spock snubbed? That I do not know…

I’m definitely a Wednesday’s child myself - full of woe when I stopped in to check on my poor mom to find her weeping in her kitchen “looking for my George” (dad’s been dead 4 yrs now). Her frailty & confusion are leapfrogging each other; 2 wks seems like too long to wait until we get her settled in her new facility but I am loathe to sacrifice Ft Stanton. I’ve booked a moving crew for Saturday 7/22 and while no doubt Mom will be upset by more downsizing, this shouldn’t be nearly as complicated as clearing out the big house. This reminds me to call the agency (I’ve told them we’ll be working week by week) to be sure I can book Tamika for next week. The young lady who showed up Wednesday spent most of her time glued to her phone; Mom was not pleased & neither was I! I’ve notified Mijo but only time will tell if he shows up to help or not. Obviously I cannot force or demand anything of him at this point - we’re supposed to be relating to each other on an adult-to-adult basis?

I delivered another 7 ball pythons to the rescue person and met with a realtor about the Mesquite house - ideally I’d like to have that cleared out by the end of this month also & ready for an “As Is” sale. I don’t think Z has set foot on the property in 3 months - once the animals are seen to, I want to recover the almost-new swamp cooler in the storage shed & then I’ll let one of those junk haulers clean it out. I’ve been fiddling with several folks from my FB reptile-keepers group about surplus caging (no one was really serious about the snakes, the bottom has fallen out of the ball python market for sure!), but I will set stuff out on the front porch - anyone who wants it can come pick it up, or there again I’ll have the clean-out crew dispose of it all. A damned shame but there’s only so much I can do.

Sounds of Freedom

 (Happy 5th of July! This national holiday falling on Tuesday has really messed up my internal calendar, not that it’s been working exceptionally well here lately anyway!)

Of course Monday was a normal workday for us at CVC, even though many of my colleagues took an extended holiday weekend. But I need to keep those doors open, generating some income as I stress about keeping all my plates spinning/balls in the air juggling during this renovation. No doubt I will need to close (hopefully only one day) when it’s time to shift our freight into the new facility; I’ll worry about that more when the time frame is more exact! I’ve already warned my girls that there are no surplus funds for the professional movers (who charged an astronomical sum for packing my storage container), so we’d better plan on doing it right by doing it ourselves. Recruiting husbands, BIL’s and maybe even a few clients…

Our friend & neighbor Steve (widower of my dear departed Ginger) held his family reunion/4th of July blowout Monday night. I prepped my usual baked beans & left P with the task of heating ‘em up/delivering them. On Tuesday, Peran wanted to see the “Sound of Freedom” movie which is based on the true story of Homeland Security agent Tim Ballard, who quit his job to battle child trafficking. A very good, but very intense & disturbing film which kept me awake last night (as if Val needed much to disrupt her house-of-cards sleep cycle!) But P & I even chatted a bit afterwards - P discussing his conspiracy theories of how Hollywood blocked the distribution of this film for 3 yrs… Val reserves judgement since there are many films which never see the silver screen if they’re not a sure-fire money maker, or stall out in production. Even my beloved Star Trek franchise had a hard time making it to the big screen!

https://www.denofgeek.com/movies/comparing-the-three-versions-of-star-trek-the-motion-picture/

Of course Val had to research how much of Tim Ballard’s movie was fact vs fiction - while not wanting to doubt the awesome Jim Caviezel!

https://www.historyvshollywood.com/reelfaces/sound-of-freedom/

The Longest Journey

 …for Val begins with the laundering of the bedsheets in my horse trailer! 😉 Is there anything on earth that smells as good as linens dried on the clothesline? From there, the packing and loading of the horse trailer will proceed in its normal haphazard fashion - the only major adjustments will be to quantities of horse feed and hay, depending on how many I’m hauling?

Christina sent me a cryptic text message the other night - I tried to call her back since I was in my native environment, driving in my car! but got her voicemail. I don’t know if “slaving at work” means she won’t be able to get away for Fort Stanton? My other friend Chris messaged me yesterday - I reassured her I will come unless I absolutely fall over dead; I just don’t know who all I am hauling besides Baraq? If Christina doesn’t reply over these next few days, I’ll try to pin her down - I do need to fill out the horses’ travel papers…

Speaking of cryptic communications, Peran allowed that he wanted to go to the pub yesterday, fish & chips for a late lunch. Sometimes I wonder if that man is spying on me - I had messaged my trail riding buddies earlier in the week, hoping I could pull off a similar surprise to Linda’s gathering at Union 28 when P finally alerted me of his birthday dinner plans. Of course 3 1/2 hours was far too short of notice, I couldn’t even get mijo to roll out! Peran revealed  that he was a little miffed at me for getting home so late Thursday night since he had wanted to go to the new barbecue joint in Ennis, but how on earth was I supposed to know that?  Hearing about it two days after the fact isn’t exactly helpful!

I tried to be as diplomatic as Henry Kissinger as I explained of course I hadn’t wanted to stay out late Thursday night either, but the young man who built Mila‘s cage asked us not to come until 8 PM because the final coat of varnish was drying! (Not my fault, in other words). I do wonder at times what planet my husband lives on, where everything goes according to plan? I know Peran continues to be jealous of the time and energy I continue to devote to my son but it is what it is - Z can have my last breath.

Strange as it sounds, in high school we had a priest lecturing us on interpersonal relationships - I’ve never forgotten his explanation of “IGYYSOB” as one of the “games people play”: I’ve Got You, You SOB”! Peran seems to delight in trapping me in these conundrums…

Darwin & Me

 Being “just a lowly biologist” at heart, I’ve always been an admirer of Charles Darwin. These days it seems even more appropriate, as both the great man and myself suffer(ed) from chronic illness. Darwin managed to change history and contribute to the advancement of science - what do I have to say for myself? But at least I can be encouraged by the fact that Darwin kept on working - so must I, so must I!

Days when I don’t have to set an alarm seem like a treat, even though I rarely sleep past 8 AM. Yesterday morning I awoke at 6:30 AM (had to urinate) but decided to lie back down… I fell back into a deep intense dream sequence but then the scary part was I didn’t seem to be able to drag myself out of bed; I dozed from 8:00 - 8:50 until I finally forced myself out of bed, feeling like some sort of a viral encephalopathy patient - one of the worst episodes of “brain fog” I’ve suffered. After my morning dose of caffeine I managed to get on with my day - doing a little shopping for my trip, settling the matter of Arabella with my mom (she’s going; I just have to set those wheels in motion - somehow I’ll get it all done), then going to pick up Mila the Burmese python’s new cage with Z & V**. I warned Peran I’d be late since the young man who built the cage didn’t want us to pick it up until 8 PM to give the last coat of varnish a chance to dry. (A funny moment when we pulled into his yard - he was inside the cage pulling out a little bit of scaffolding - it’s big enough to imprison a human at 8 x 4 x 2) I made it back home by 10 PM - in time to shower off, drink my tea, and fall into bed. Lather rinse repeat.

** at least during drive time I got to hear about V’s new job (rehab facility) - she likes it and I could see no signs that she was out of sorts with me? Otherwise, why would she want to ride in the truck with me for almost 2 hours - but what do I know, she may just have wanted to keep a close eye on Zach?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_of_Charles_Darwin

Time Warp

 I haven’t looked at my sleep stats from last night, and I don’t really want to - it was a weird one!

Tossed & turned with 3 trips to the potty - diuresis I suppose? My weight is down 2 lbs which I know is all bloat… but more distressing than my weak bladder is my mental state - each time I swam into consciousness, my brain kept insisting it was the weekend! I would remind myself  “No, it’s Wednesday!” while giving myself a mental pat-on-the-back for surviving yesterday (recap to follow, another challenging day!) - I kept reliving this time loop over & over & OVER again. 

Maybe my mind is finally broken from all the stress - yesterday we were shorthanded since my receptionist was out, her college-freshman daughter had some sort of panic attack so they were up most of Monday night? Typical Tuesday, double-booked on appointments with a full surgery schedule. Thank goodness our favorite pharmaceutical rep stopped by - he went & picked us up Chinese food which we had about 15 minutes to scarf down. During that mini-break, Kristy disclosed to me that (our receptionist) Amber has a drinking problem, there is turmoil at home and THAT is why their daughter is stressed out. Great, now I get to play counselor when Amber comes back! I’ve joked around for years that I should have an honorary psychology degree, between employee drama and all of the clients over the years who confide in us…

After work I raced over to Costco to meet my friend Sam & deliver a strangles vaccine for his young mare - they’ve had an outbreak at his boarding facility. (Another disadvantage of boarding - you have no control  over kind-hearted souls rescuing a sick animal, failing to quarantine it, and exposing your own to disease!) I made a quick run-through, buying that ubiquitous rotisserie chicken with a few other tidbits. I picked up a tri-pack of “Readi-Bake” sourdough loaves which I thought P might like - of course me too; is there anything much better than a fresh crusty piece of hot bread? I got home to find a partial loaf in the kitchen which P had brought home from HEB - great minds think alike!

My next challenge (outside of all of the usual: finding homes for snakes, clearing out Mesquite house, marketing the mobile unit & the surgery trailer) will be sitting down with my mom this afternoon to decide once & for all if we’re moving her to Arabella. Not exactly what I want to tackle at this point in time, but if she will consent to it I think it would be a much better situation for her. I’ll just have to hire in help from the nursing agency for those first couple of weeks. Where is my oxygen mask again? Oh yeah - it’s out there on the high desert plateau of Fort Stanton, I just have to GET THERE!

                                                        Bears revisiting