PEM & PWM

 Spend much time on the Internet and you become familiar with many acronyms - not just text-message abbreviations like “LOL” either!

One symptom which is a common complaint of many of us long Covid sufferers is PEM: Post-Exercise Malaise, aka overdoing it! While graded exercise is prescribed for some fatigue-related conditions, overdoing it can cause devastating relapses. And as Jake Spoon said, “I didn’t see no line Gus, I was just trying to get through the territory without getting scalped, that’s all!”

While I’d like to compare myself to the fun-loving Gus McRae or dutiful, hard-working Woodrow Call, I probably have more in common with Jake Spoon, just trying to get by at this point. I have added my own acronym: PWM, Post-Work Malaise which ain’t exactly new in my case. I could unearth old Spark-blog entries from years ago in which I bemoan my lessening stamina - it used to be that a busy workday was a challenge and I would finish up feeling proud of myself. It is becoming an increasing struggle to “get ‘er done”, after which I stumble home to collapse in my recliner, not looking forward to resting up & trying to do it all over again the next day…

I went to the gym with DH Friday night and did a little grab-bag of activities: a few minutes on the elliptical, half a mile on the treadmill, followed by the stationary bike and a couple of the weight machines. It was a hard task to roll out of bed yesterday morning - I was sore from nose to tail. I continue to try to draw inspiration from my dear Clarice, who soldiers on with her special pates of canned puppy food and softened kibble - I wish I could post videos here, she has a very amusing, alligator-like toss and swallow routine down! Her weight is stable, her blood work has returned to normal - I’m gonna take her back to see the internal medicine specialist at the end of this month more for a humble-brag than anything. I am as proud of her as anything I’ve done in my entire career - almost 4 months out after a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, that’s a long time especially in dog years…

I don’t know if I’ll have it in me to slog through a 50 mile ride next month, but all I can do is keep placing one foot in front of the other. As other endurance writers have paraphrased, sometimes you learn as much from your failures as from your successes.

I have very little in common with Charles Darwin from the brilliant-scientist perspective, but I do know he also suffered from chronic illness - one  theory is that he developed Chagas disease (bitten by “kissing bug” in South America), which caused heart problems, fatigue and general ill health. I can certainly relate to general peevishness - if this is my “new normal” I strongly protest (ha ha, that’s the sound of the universe laughing at me)!

Janet has been giving Alex a tune-up; I’ll pick her up next week to see if we can forge a stronger bond. After all, she was supposed to be the successor to my dear Coyote (ex-mule stolen from me, I got a lot more mileage out of missing the mule more than the husband!)

Keep Going

 “When you’re going through hell, keep going” - Winston Churchill 

“No one can take advantage of you without your consent“ - Ann Landers

I need to bookend these phrases as I continue to struggle through this non-joyous holiday season - I got myself into this mess, there is no way out except to keep trudging forward, grimly trying to accomplish each task. What I would like is to hire a foreman to ramrod my remodeling project - of course, every client who comes to the new property is eagerly asking when we will have the building remodeled - “No time soon!” seems to be my foreshortened, gruff answer. I miss my dad - if he were still alive & able, he would be all over it. I got sick and tired of Subway sandwiches, which was the only place he wanted to take a lunch break when we were working on the Red Oak facility! Dad always ordered their Italian sub, the least expensive option on the menu - that’s not even offered anymore with all their “upscale” options. (I went there the other day for a quick, auld lang syne option.)

I drove to downtown Dallas Saturday morning to serve as the standby emergency treatment vet in case there were any problems with the parade horses - A good client of mine serves on the committee. Obviously I work very cheap - free parking and VIP seating! But Izzy and I had fun, it was her first parade! (4 yrs ago, the last time I volunteered, I took Clarice but I didn’t think she’d appreciate the commotion this time around)

I did manage to muster enough energy to get out Saturday afternoon for a ride with my friends - what I hope is the first building block for my Arizona ride next month. Easier to natter on about these plans than to dwell on this deep pit I've dug myself into financially... The quote I NEED to focus upon are the immortal words of Spock (ST6: The Undiscovered Country): "What you WANT is irrelevant, what you have CHOSEN is at hand!"

But for today I need to concentrate on doing my best for my patients to continue replenishing my coffers so I can pay for said remodeling. There again, plenty of clients have sympathized with me on what an unfair situation this is - I didn't WANT to be starting all over in a new location at this stage of my career, but here you have it...

Junior & Senior Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders

 

 

                                              We didn't have NEARLY enough parade ponies!
 

Early Christmas

 My man at the trailer dealership got repairs done well ahead of schedule (I had requested to pick it up by December 8 but now that ride has been rescheduled) - I picked up my “early Xmas present” yesterday. Rebuilt hay rack, rebuilt & rewired generator (along with a significant portion of other wiring, including power supply to the furnace, which shorted out when hay rack disintegrated), minor plumbing leaks fixed, as well as routine maintenance like brakes & bearings… fortunately it appears the tires are holding up well for another season!

I handed over ye olde MasterCard, I need to slow down my massive cash outflows which have me feeling like some mortally wounded creature, hemorrhaging cash to all comers: the plumbers, the electricians, water tank and “rescue” landscaping (I had a man come in to do some minor dirt work and spread gravel to remedy the mud pit that our front yard becomes in rainy weather - I was joking that we were going to set up a ferry boat ride!) Let us not speak of my son’s profligate spending - despite my pleas to “make do”for a while, he dove right into major remodeling of kitchen and master bathroom, we now have to put all that back together.

This morning I have a dull headache which I presume is mostly sinus-related. Not all maladies can be traced to a primary source - I’ve had a nonspecific GI upset all week also, bloat & misery! So I’m going to go steam myself in the shower, take some ibuprofen, and ease into my workday.

Obfuscation

 In other words (to quote the immortal Styx, “Nothing Ever Goes As Planned”) - it was a strange, confusing weekend my friends! (Val is loathe to disrupt any long-standing routine)

A.) Thanksgiving itself is forever changed after Covid disruption and my aunt’s death (she hosted our big combo family reunion + Thanksgiving celebration for over 40 years); my cousin who has hosted for these past 3 yrs prefers the weekend before Thanksgiving - her house, her rules of course.

B.) Torrential rains disrupted any riding plans - ‘nuff said.

C.) We were invited to Victoria’s grandparents’ home on Turkey Day - I staggered home after work Wednesday evening to bake 2 pies and generate another pan of my Famous Cornbread Dressing (the secret: toasted pecans and lotsa butter!). Z had called to include his grandma in this event, but she had already begun complaining Wed night that she was exhausted and didn’t want to go… My dad’s old tennis buddy had stopped by to visit and overstayed his welcome. (I don’t know exactly how long this was, but I spoke to mom around 5:45 PM, Roberto had already left so it wasn’t TOO dreadfully late?) And when Thursday was cold and rainy, I knew we’d never get her out. I think dinner itself went well, even though P was a little overwhelmed by the crowd of unfamiliar people (in some regards he’s even more of an introvert than me)

D.) It felt weird to get up Friday morning WITHOUT work (I gave my staff a long weekend off), but Peran and I went to the Korean spa which was a pleasant change of pace. Rain continued off and on through Saturday, which I devoted to playing overseer as Z took care of long-overdue cleaning and maintenance of his snake collection. I had been having literal nightmares about having to show up with animal welfare authorities and treat Zach like the hoarder he was behaving as - I cannot tolerate animal neglect.

E.) Remodeling work continues on the Irving house - Zach plans to move in over the Christmas holidays next month. “Shoulda-coulda-woulda” second guessing continues - I shouldn’t have financed this endeavor but here we are; that ol’ umbilical cord proves to be a gnarly thing to disconnect.

My task was to socialize some of these wild creatures who haven’t been handled nearly enough

                     Don’t take my picture Mom - showing off Z’s house to future in-laws

                                                A young man & his python ❤️💕

                                                New bed for Clarice, still struggling on!

Caveat Emptor

 “Buyer Beware” - although, in this case that turned out to be “Shopper Beware”, and I’m too many decades out from my high school Latin to recall the grammatical difference between “Buyer” and “Shopper”.

Let’s just say the human race keeps on coming up with new ways to frustrate and disappoint me… Mea culpa, I SHOULD have called to confirm but I have a bad tendency to take folks at their word - when Tammy told me she would hold Buckshot for me (no need for a deposit), I presumed that was factual. 

Poor little moron, I was so excited! I texted Tammy when I was about halfway there (she was 3 hrs away in Lockhart), but my heart sank when she responded: “Who is this?”

I’m posting the text exchange purely for my own amusement and edification - but the poor confused soul had sold the horse out from under me to someone she **thought** was me! (“She kept on texting me every day!”) Ai yi yi! I won’t keep beating this sold horse, obviously it wasn’t meant to be - lesson learned by Val: don’t shop via social media, rely on the old tried and true methods of using your real social network - the people you already know! My husband is relieved, although as usual he ain’t talking about it much. I had already fulfilled one part of the bargain - taking Alex-mule over to Janet the trainer’s who was going to show her to a couple of families who might  give her a good home as well as good consistent work. I feel terrible guilt about sending her away but the fact of the matter is she and I never bonded properly - “joined  up” to quote another famous trainer, John Lyon -  she deserves a place where she gets more attention and good steady work that a mule thrives upon.

And if Janet doesn’t find her her person I’ll have a nicely tuned-up mule and we’ll try again…

Unhappy Holidays

 Lemme tell ya, “Jaffe Trailer Park” ain’t a fun place to be when it’s cold & rainy!

A.) I’ve got to get a crew out to address the drainage issues: when it rains, most of the front area turns into a mud pit - water drains into the front carport to make a small lake! I need to issue clients a pair of mud boots while joking that I’m gonna set up a ferry ride.

B.) I thought the nifty little unit installed in the tiny trailer was dual-purpose with AC AND heat, but I haven’t figured out a way to turn the heat on? (Complicated by the fact the jerry-rigged power cord does not supply consistent power - note to self: call my cousin the electrician!) So yesterday on my lunch break, I ran down to the dollar store and bought a little electric space heater so I didn’t freeze at my desk…

C.) we continue to rely on short trips up the road for restroom facilities since the plumbers did NOT return yesterday with relentless rain storms. “Plan ahead”

Last night I again limped home stiff and cold, although not as bad as Friday. Baked myself in front of the bathroom heater for a while but pulled a muscle in my shoulder trying a new yoga routine (“deep fascial release”) - guess I’ll take half a pain pill and try to loosen things up with a hot shower. At least I have something to look forward to tonight - a friend/refugee from Bruce’s studio told me about a new Tues night class at 6:30 which is a MUCH more manageable time for me. (Gives me a few extra minutes to breathe & relax rather than rush rush rush to make a 6 PM class) And at $7/pop, it’s much more affordable! I haven’t been able to make the 6 PM Bruce class for over a month - so even when I could squeeze in one class per week, that averaged out to about $18 per session…

Whimpers

 And so, this ride season ends for me with a series of whimpers…

I limped home Friday like a little twisted crab, cramped and painful from the damp cold weather which had descended upon us. Temperatures were dipping down close to freezing and the furnace quit working in my horse trailer so I decided not to go to camp Friday night (this turned out to be a good, prescient decision). I went to bed and slept in for nine hours - it wasn’t perfect rest but it was very nice.

Saturday morning I went to check on my mother, who was laid out in her recliner as if ready to receive Last Rites (Extreme Unction for those of you raised Catholic ;-) but seemed to be recovering from her unspecified respiratory bug. (We did not return to urgent care or the ER in the absence of fever or breathing difficulty, I figured it was best NOT to expose her to all those other sick folks!) She dismissed her home healthcare aide Friday, claiming she didn’t need them. I decided to try to go to camp for one night - unfortunately, my damaged hayrack self-destructed about 12 miles from home. I found a place to turn around and limped back to the house. The ride manager confirmed that she DID need my help on Sunday (the 3rd vet had fallen & given himself a concussion!), so I drove out Sunday morning in my little car as a foot soldier. All went well and I was able to drive home Sunday afternoon to waste the rest of my time watching my Cowboys lose…

So it goes! Trying to psych myself up for another busy workweek but I just ain't feeling it...