It’s currently 7:35 AM CST - I’m a little groggy & disoriented since I’m dealing with both jet lag and return to ordinary time (I feel like I’m dreadfully late as I look outside even though I have another blessed half-hour before I have to start figuratively saddling up…
Peran is already up in his office as I hear filtered conversations on his headset. Don’t know if it’s family matters or business, although most of his family convos have seemed to be by cell phone.
I’m still processing my quickest dash-across-the-pond to date; I’m glad that I went since my SIL Kate really seemed to appreciate my presence, neither had the finality of Ken’s death sunk in so well with me as when I laid my hand upon his coffin, or noticed the gaping lack of his presence as the family gathered together. It was a hell of a wake! - we piled into Ken’s golf club after the service & pretty much took it over. Being a grayish drizzly weekday, there certainly weren’t many golfers venturing out.
I didn’t get to read the pathologist’s report but of course Kate had questions for me: Ken had 2 myocardial infarctions secondary to left ventricular hypertrophy. So in essence I could compare him to a cat, since cardiomyopathy can similarly strike dead these individuals with few premonitory signs… and Ken had shared no symptoms with Kate - at this point, she’s most concerned for her children’s future health. I explained bloodwork may be helpful but an echocardiogram is the best diagnostic test. When we got back home, I asked Peran what action he was going to take - he shrugged and said he would take his doctor’s recommendations as his next check-up is coming up soon. So what am I, chopped liver?!? Peran did hold my hand at the funeral as he shed a few tears, but other than that he remains his usual non-communicative self. We shared a bed at our hotel for 2 nights (Wednesday & Thursday) then of course we flew back home Friday. He turned his back to me each time - I don’t know what to say or do? Of course Wednesday night he was emotionally wrung out - he was also irritated by the fact that Zach called me at 3 AM to tell me our Rangers had won the World Series! So I’ll just dump my photos here and contemplate life, the universe, & everything in my meditation sessions.
The sun peeked out again as we awaited our return flight
It was a rather sobering and sad post. A reminder to me that life is short and fleeting. Precious. I so know that. I live it daily.
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you went too. Women are usually so much better at providing the emotional support that we all need. I'm glad you could be there for your SIL and Peran especially. The entire family and his friends. I find it was significant that Peran held your hand. No one knows what goes on in the minds of people who choose to be mostly mute. Maybe hurt, maybe fear. The photos were much appreciated. I am glad Peran lost weight. Maybe you could mentor him - send discrete relevant health articles. I sent them to my hubby. Men are stubborn. They need proof. I provide plenty. Sending a hug. I'm sure you are wrung out.
I'm also glad that Peran has lost weight, although I'm concerned for the fact that maintenance/taking off his slight (in my opinion inevitable) regain seems to have taken central focus in his life!
DeleteI've more-or-less accepted the fact that I'll never dip below my pre-thyroidectomy weight (which is about 15 lbs below where I am now), but at least my weight has been stable these past 3-4 yrs bcz it is absolutely exhausting to gallop up & down those scales!
Some people really do get obsessed with even a few ounce gains and when you try to explain to them that they might have some retained stool or got a bolus of salt or have a full bladder they don't want to hear it. The question is why was it so important for Peran to lose this weight. What was his motivation? I'm still trying to lose and convinced I will but it won't be fast or easy like the first 40 pounds.
DeleteMy weight can easily fluctuate by a pound or two just with toileting habits! But Peran has regained in my estimation, 25-30 lbs although I would never ever NEVER ask him what his weight is these days!!! I really do think he was trying to match his brother Ken's natural thinness, but now poor Ken is dead & I believe Peran ought to relax a bit & try to enjoy life a bit more.
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