My sleep quality has been marginally better this week, even though my most recent technique of fitting the back of my head into the notch between my pillows (sounds weird, I know, but it seemed to help my restless habit of tossing n’ turning) no longer seems to be effective. I’m most comfortable curled up on my left side - didn’t arise for a potty break until 5:30 AM, yeah me!
However, I still find it hard to peel myself off the mattress bcz I really don’t have much to look forward to these days… Ongoing financial stress, my mother’s unending misery at her situation, not much time and energy for much outside of work duties. My cousin will be hosting our early Turkey Day celebration mañana, which to me just seems to line up as more logistical juggling:
A.) when I reminded Hubby (this is not new; Vanessa has hosted “early Thanksgiving” for the past 4 years now), he replied he might be fashionably late since he has his “men stuff” group mtg on Saturday. I have counted on P in past years to deliver my food items, since I have to swing up into town to go collect Mom. Fortunately, he stalked into the kitchen this morning to say he had “made his excuses”. Great job, dear!
B.) I had been mulling over how to swing things without risking food poisoning of my family: cook tonight/refrigerate/reheat vs prep tonight/get up extra early to bake my cornbread dressing & roast those sweet potatoes, then hope everything would “hold” as I went to pick up Mom. Thankfully with Hub's acquiescence to family duties, I'll be able to fall back on original plan: prep tonight, put in oven in the morning with instructions to P as to when to take out - since he'll be driving straight to my cousin's house, all should be well!
C.) My last challenge shall be getting over to Arabella, coaxing Mom into the shower, plugging my ears to her complaints as we practice basic hygiene & I transport her to Waxahachie. If I sound sour, it's bcz I am - most of those old folks would be thrilled to death to be taken out for a meal/family outing. Can I make a substitution? (Bad Val - bad, bad Val!!!)
D.) Call it cognitive dissonance, early-onset senior disillusionment, or what have you, but I always envisioned marriage as a partnership - each of us striving to support our partner (not that constructive criticism is out of the question), fundamentally having each other's backs... But I've had the distinct impression these past few years that P is more invested in questioning my methodology, or playing "NIGYYSOB" games of one-upmanship. I've never forgotten some of the transactional-analysis terms Father Rick discussed with us in high school: "Now I've Got You, You SOB"! OK, honey, mea culpa. Just another thing that I miss.
Not much sleep here. Benny and I have both been sick. I sleep on my left side. But I am up for potty breaks every 2 hours. My fault as I am thirsty in the evening.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness P offered to come on time and bring food! I gave up trying to understand men long ago. I tend to think that most of them go through life wanting to punish women because they represent their mothers.
Mothers I understand even less.
Sounds like your lawyer is on the ball!
Happy Thanksgiving!