The Bristol Hillbillies

 One minor accomplishment this weekend was having a pile o’junk hauled off - the addition of the gate which Scarlett broke by scratching her big booty against it last Thursday was just too much to bear! The stack in front of the barn included 2 previous gates, rusted metal shelving, and our old garage fridge which gave up the ghost at least a year ago. We also had the old BBQ grill on the side porch, and some “metal art” - big chickens which we had salvaged from a neighbor, but I never could keep ‘em staked upright; they were constantly getting blown over! (probably why he had jettisoned ‘em)

In other words, it was a trailer-load - for the life of me I can’t explain why (unemployed) DH had let this eyesore fester for months & months - in the past he has periodically gathered up the scrap & hauled it in for recycling? The few bucks they paid for scrap metal would generally at least cover the cost of the fuel. Go figure? I mean, even though I joke about us living like hillbillies, I do have some pride in our lil’ hobby farm - so I paid a guy $200 for the clean-up. At least Peran completed the pasture mowing - knocking down the tall weeds since I can’t afford to spray ‘em…

I don’t know why my iPad has gone on strike as far as posting photos - it makes my recent entries feel incomplete. I’m not a good enough wordsmith to describe the intricacies of the Tevis trail, for instance - not to mention the snappy memes I come across! I should be able to tediously email & transfer with work computer, le sigh!

Postscript: I’ve come back hopefully several times, to see if this recalcitrant iPad would start loading photos, but alas it will not cooperate! Even tried my only “repair” method, a shutdown & restart, ha ha! So I’ll have to edit later - no, it will NOT include a photo of ye olde junk pile! I was ashamed of that mess; why doesn’t my husband take more pride in our property? Maybe, as several have mentioned, he is in fact deeply clinically depressed, that could explain everything about his oddball behavior over these past months? But I cannot force him to get help - I have a funny feeling he would retreat like he’s never retreated before if I try to press the issue…

California Dreamin’

 Yesterday was the annual pinnacle-of-American-endurance events, the Tevis Cup - a 100-mi ride which traverses the Sierra Nevada Mtns, going point-to-point from Lake Tahoe to Auburn, CA. An occasion for nostalgia, as the primary reason I joined SparkPeople in 2010 was an attempt to shape up & drop a few pounds to give Baraquinator a fair shake at completion! 

My ex cruised through the Tevis on dear ol’ Wynkhy in 1997; while we had hoped to do it together, my QH mare Shawna was starting to have intermittent lameness issues, so I wound up flying out to crew for him. We joked that he was probably the only rider with his own personal veterinarian! (Since it is a point-to-point ride, riders must have at the very least, a driver to take their rig from Tahoe back to the Auburn fairgrounds. Most riders have a 2 or 3 man crew, although there is a “Cavalry” award for the few riders who make it without a crew, packing everything they need on their horse)

I submitted my own entry in Y2K, accepting the generous offer of a friend to haul me to CA since Ex had taken our big horse trailer in the aftermath of our divorce (‘99). Unfortunately, my gallant lil’ Ahab stepped off the trailer lame - I leased a mule from the Ribleys, but only made it to Deadwood (55 mi) before being pulled for being overtime. Somehow it’s never lined up for me to return - of course it’s a huge investment of time, effort, horsepower, and M-O-N-E-Y to haul to CA for a 1-d event. I must accept that the window of opportunity for me has closed, but I can still cheer on my friends…

Yesterday, Jonni, Devon, Todd, Gayle, Julie, and Lancette were on my “favorites” list. The Ride has been limited to 250 entries - while it used to be that you needed to apply early, over recent years (past decade?) the quota is never filled. Take that as an indicator of tough economic times, for sure. Typically there is about a 50% completion rate - and sure enough, Devon, Todd & Julie didn’t make it, Gayle & Jonni did well, and Lancette was the turtle. However, this year we had a lower-than-average completion rate of 40% - 54 out of 137 starters. Temperatures were higher than average for California - for us Texans it was just “summertime”. 

I got in a short ride yesterday with my friends - I took Baraq since he’s been giving me the Sad Eyes for being left behind for NM. While I had hoped to make it a “twofer” - riding Silas this morning, I got up to unexpected rain. No points nor mileage to strive towards, so I’ve stayed in to make breakfast & play on social media! 

And once again, my iPad won’t attach photos, WTH??!!??

So I will pull a few photos off of FB - 

Cougar Rock is a short, steep rocky outcrop which can provide a beautiful photo op - there is also a bypass for those who don't want to risk such a challenge relatively early-on in the Ride (approx 22 mi in). I chose to do the bypass during my attempt, since I was riding a rented mule (literally, ha ha!) and didn't want to end up on the blooper reel...

Frenemy Mine

 (aka The Rest of the Story”)

I constantly remind myself that ‘It’s not all about YOU!” - I still have a bad tendency to take things FAR too personally, as if I were the center of the universe… But my heart remains wounded from the Bad Ending of what I thought would be a lifelong friendship - I know I’ve touched on the sitch w/KS in years past. (We met & bonded through endurance riding; but I always had the nagging incomplete sense of “pursuit” - as if I was the one expending most of the effort in our relationship. She betrayed me during that last horrific custody battle by telling her husband of my strategies & tribulations, which he promptly  shared with my ex-husband, allowing he & his legal team to get ahead of me at every turn. Then they had the self-righteous gall to declare that THEY had the moral high ground! That flavor of Christianity I want no truck with!?!)

Anyway, my point being - even though we smile & nod at one another these days, our friendship will never be rekindled. When I came up to the ride meeting Friday night, Karen was there early, so I went ahead & unfolded my chair to sit next to her. Turns out she was riding with Kacy when she had her horrible accident - I’ll have to check the ride stats when they’re posted, but she may have sacrificed her own ride to stay with Kacy until the paramedics could get to her. I told her of Zach’s graduation and new job, but again, after a while it felt like a one-sided conversation. I wasn’t gonna sit there babbling inanely,  so I just shut up after a while. Several people came over to ask about Kacy & thank Karen for her assistance - then Karen got up from her chair to walk across the pavilion and sit with Sue Jaffe. If that wasn’t a snub I don’t know what is!?!

Needless to say I was relieved that she did not ride Saturday (neither did SJ, win-win!) - we did not wish each other a fond farewell, hasta luego, or anything. C’est la vie!

The wildlife-viewing highlight of my trip was the juvenile Western Diamondback rattlesnake which Silas & I sidepassed on our Saturday morning loop. I saw him/her out of the corner of my eye, circled Silas back around, but couldn't get him to simmer down enough to snap a photo - he was restive bcz there were horses up ahead that he wanted to pursue! An absolutely gorgeous specimen, buzzing his 2 lil' buttons furiously to convince us to Go Away...

I am grateful for my decision to push all the way home Sat night - I got an invite from Mijo to come over to Victoria's grandparents for fajitas; Z was the grillmaster & did an excellent job. Poor Andy is struggling with (what I hope are) aftereffects of his radiation treatments - pain in his jaw, difficulty swallowing... He had just been to the dentist who didn't find anything wrong with his teeth, thank goodness. However, my doctors kept careful watch for years following my radiation treatments for any signs of bone loss (osteonecrosis), especially in my jawbone.

Followed by The Major Pilgrimage

 (Otherwise known as my summer trip to Fort Stanton, New Mexico)

I’m thrilled to report that everything went well, mechanically & otherwise! My only complaint is that it was far too short (as usual). I drove straight through on Tuesday, which gave me the full day Wednesday to rest & recover, do some minor shopping for supplies as the nearby town of Capitan always stocks up for the Texas invasion. I rode Thursday & Saturday, taking Friday off as Silas was fatigued** and I had a minor altitude/allergy related headache.

** A 16-mile loop in the rocky hills of Fort Stanton is easily equivalent to 25-30 miles in the flatlands; Silas tripped & stumbled quite a bit which could get one’s blood pressure elevated in those hills! But I don’t think I had a lameness, a neurologic or a metabolic problem - I think I just had a clumsy Walking horse who wasn’t paying close attention to where he was putting his feet. We did my favorite, the 11-mile Homestead loop on Saturday morning; the highlight of my trip may have been the baby western diamondback we saw along trail. I saw him out of the corner of my eye, made Silas circle back - I would’ve loved to take his picture, but Silas was restive and I couldn’t take a chance on dropping my phone! He was a gorgeous little creature, buzzing those two buttons on his rattle as hard as he could…

We rested up for a couple of hours, then I went ahead and pushed all the way back home Saturday night, getting home a little before 2 AM. Let me dump a few photos and tell you the rest of the story later!

(Or not since the iPad is being funky)

Thank you work computer!

A Minor Pilgrimage

 Subtitled “If I Had More Energy I’d Be Having a Minor Freakout over How Much I Have Left To Do” aka “Nothing Ever Goes As Planned”…

I went to Bonham yesterday (an approximate 90-minute drive, barring traffic of course!) on my pilgrimage to my aunt & uncle’s house. Deep Thoughts along the way: my mom always had deep insecurity/resentments concerning her in-laws, some of which were well-founded, but many were not! Everyone else was able to laugh off the anecdote of their pastor telling my mom (age 19) that, not being a born-again member of their fundamentalist sect, she was “leading George straight to hell”, but Mom could never forgive nor forget. (No doubt that led to my dad giving up on organized religion). There were many other real & perceived slights throughout the years, but my dad loved his sisters, nieces & nephews & the rest of his extended family and Mom had no legitimate excuse for keeping us away from the big family Thanksgiving reunion, which my aunt & uncle began hosting when I was a teenager (they had the biggest house!) right up until 2018.

My uncle owned the grocery store in Bonham; his children did not appreciate being pressed into servitude there! I’m surprised Ann kept this photo of Rick & Uncle Willie: (must’ve been late 1960’s, making Rick 17 or 18)

So I got held up for longer than I planned to stay,  going through memorabilia. Didn’t drive the extra 25 mi to go see Bois D’arc Lake; I’ll have to save that for another expedition. Ann has moved into a 1-BR quadplex in a brand-new senior living community on the N end of town.

There are still many pieces of my aunt’s hand-painted porcelain - I selected a couple of pieces but honestly have no where to display them; it’s just not my bag! Much like my mom’s innumerable gee-gaws…

This was my prize - can’t believe Cousin John didn’t claim this photo! He’s the small boy, waiting not-so-patiently for his turn as his mom & Aunt Leila ride dear ol’ Molly bareback.

                        And my last few 4th of July parade photos

4 Days

 Remaining until I’m hopefully heading out to Ft Stanton. I’m in no kinda shape, leaving a lot of  “Things I OUGHT to be doing” here on the table (line up workmen to finish out my dog kennels, harass Oncor Electric so I can get my X-ray machine reinstalled), but regardless I’m going anyway!

I almost wimped out on doing our 4th of July parade yesterday, but wound up riding Mr Silas. Hard to believe - I posted invites on both my trail riders groups (I know many of us may be dual members, but there’s at least 50-60 people, out of which probably 2 dozen actually RIDE with some frequency!), yet NO ONE came out to ride?!? I know it was hot, but still!!! Silas & I had a brief but spirited discussion when I asked him to leave Miss Scarlett & cross the dam (!!!), but I won since I carried the riding crop… 

I don’t know if this video/photo montage link will work, but I’ll throw it up here anyway. The kids are great about adorning their horses, I’m the stealth rider in a red T-shirt/purple helmet on basic black pony.

https://fb.watch/t7Gy9PQirM/?

I should’ve nicknamed yesterday: Watch Val’s weight fluctuate! I got up Thurs morning mildly bloated, sweated off 2 lbs during the parade, went to our neighbor’s big 4th of July cookout, and ended up almost right back where I started this AM. 

I’m still hoping to make my Bonham pilgrimage tomorrow to visit my aunt’s house before Cousin Ann gets it sold, then swing out to see big beautiful Bois D’arc Lake which devoured my cousin Joe’s farm (more eminent domain woes). Nagging Christina from afar doesn’t seem to be doing much - “she’s feeling better!” - of COURSE she is, bcz they loaded her up with steroids! but there’s only so much I can do.

Everyone thinks they’re invincible until proven otherwise. Another bit of sad news is that dear deceased Ginger’s younger brother was killed in a whitewater rafting accident Wednesday? We have very few details, Steve got choked up while making the announcement but declared Carl would’ve wanted us to go on with our celebration (most of Ginger’s family still comes down for the 4th)

Countdown

 …to my much-anticipated NM excursion starts today * with Day 8 (I’ll explain why I didn’t start with “10”in a moment)

* I started this ramble yesterday morning, but didn’t finish it off until today

Christina flew back from her Florida business trip and drove herself straight to the ER, as she had gotten steadily sicker & sicker all week. They hospitalized her, put her back on oxygen & started investigating  abnormalities in her ECG and elevated cardiac enzymes (!!!) I wound up driving Catie back to Paris (Texas, that is! ;-) since Marty had to pick up their other child 13-year-old Christian) from his ranch camp Saturday. 

They have given her loads of fluids & steroids (!!! I’m all for steroids but they can mask symptoms); culture is pending on sputum but the working diagnosis at this point seems to be a fungal sinus infection, which makes sense after her critical-care hospitalization for sepsis & bacterial pneumonia in May. Fungi are opportunistic organisms, I doubt that Christina gave herself ample opportunity to rest & recover after that ordeal.

Human medicine is incredibly frustrating (which I know in large part is secondary to our fragmented, multi-tiered healthcare system) - I want to give the hinterlands another day or two, then I’ll nudge Christina to seek care at UT-SW in Dallas or the Texas Medical Center in Houston. Her health is too valuable to mess around like this - one thing I have always credited my ex-husband with was his demand that I go to MD Anderson, the premier cancer facility in the SW. Especially after I was misdiagnosed at the College Station clinic - given “6 - 12 months” with an undifferentiated adenocarcinoma! Imagine our shock & horror in what was otherwise a healthy (asymptomatic), robust 25-yr old who was just graduating from veterinary school. At the time, I believed M was motivated by “undying love & devotion”, but in retrospect I think his motivations were more sinister - he kept on pressing my surgeon for life expectancy predictions, not so much bcz he couldn’t stand life without me but exactly the opposite: if I died of cancer, he wouldn’t have to divorce me to be with his “soulmate” (gag)

Let me wipe the slate on that and get back to the present: Saturday afternoon, Marty wanted to show me their place, which is a “workshop-aminium” built by his dad on his acreage about 15 mi E of Paris. It was somewhat shocking to me considering the nice places they have lived in the past - basically an efficiency apartment. Marty is in the process of remodeling a three bedroom/two bath , modest ranchette brick home down the road a piece but he’s got a ways to go… no wonder Catie thought Zach’s old bedroom was the lap of luxury! I didn’t take any pictures, but I did get blood samples drawn on Marty’s ponies -  I could at least do that much for him.

I wanted to make a pilgrimage by the new lake (Bois D’arc) and visit my aunt’s old house one more time but I was running out of hours in the day.