99 Lead Balloons

 …a fitting description of my mood. My sitch is improved over what it was a few short months ago, but far from where I’d like to be: financially, physically, emotionally, environmentally!!

Was it in February (pre-BD blues) when I set the mini-goal for myself: you’ve gotta see this through to your son’s graduation? I’ve managed to slog through but now I need a new goal. Gotta finish the remodeling (as you can imagine, I. Am. SO! Damn. Tired of it!!!), get my X-Ray machine re-installed (I am again, exhausted from having to explain to clients that no, we still don’t have radiographic capability), find another relief vet: Dr M has to take her husband back to MD Anderson at the end of this month for evaluation of a “spot” in his pelvic canal - of course, if intensive treatment & nursing duties commence, I will lose her help. Kristy’s mom’s ongoing battle with lung cancer continues - a tumor treated with radiation last year has begun to grow again; the only option will be removal of that lung lobe. And Misti’s FIL was hospitalized for a coronary blockage that almost led to renal shutdown! She has to take off this afternoon because she’s got to take her daughter to the orthodontist while her husband picks up his dad from the hospital. We’ll be even more shorthanded again today because Amber‘s grandmother is dying.

Fun never stops round here, does it??!!??

And my son circled back around to give me more grief on the Jeremy situation** yesterday, threatening to “distance himself” because he doesn’t understand my reasoning. Oh please, Brer Fox, don’t throw me in that briar patch! I’ve only been trying to usher Zach into adult independence for the past eight years - sternly lecturing myself to finish sawing through that gnarled umbilical cord. It was strange, because he was absolutely fine on Saturday when we met up for alfresco ramen - I had been bracing myself for a lecture then?!? 

** I’ve been practicing my own version of “charity begins at home”, helping the young man who was my lawn guy and then a temporary caretaker of the Mesquite house where I let him live rent-free for several months since he was helping me get the place straightened up and ready to be sold. I don’t think my little prince has any room to criticize me after dumping that fiasco in my lap.

And now my phone won’t even let me transfer photos since “my storage is full”, but maybe I’ll get that straightened out later also - just add it to Val‘s things to do list!

                                   At least Aphrodite is doing very well - getting hissier!

 

This, of course, is directly related to my ex-husband - but my son has inherited a few of his traits unfortunately!

Careful What You Wish For

 When I was a kid, I spent a lot of my free time doodling about the Big Horse Barn I’d build when I got to be a grown-up: a couple of stalls for my riding horses, a couple of stalls for my team (I really really did not want to rely on horseless carriages; guess I was Amish at heart!), the tack room, the feed room, the wash rack etc…

These last heavy rains flooded out my big pole barn so it’s been a mess - just mud, thankfully no structural damage! Our gravel driveway is heavily rutted up - my farmhand seems to be falling behind on basic maintenance like blading the driveway (ahem). I fear for the suspension of my little car every time I creep up and down it. When I came home Sunday afternoon while it was raining, my driveway looked like a small creek flowing merrily downhill - the ground is so saturated there’s nowhere for the water to go.

I’m trying to figure out a safe way to fence off a section of my pond for Aphrodite - now Zach has me scared to death about the dangers of predation (for her; she’s still too small and weak to be a threat to much of anything!) Alligators have been able to recover from the brink of extinction by sheer reproductive numbers, but baby gators are tasty snacks for a lot of wildlife. After all, I never restocked our chicken coop after the heartbreak of watching my flock be picked off one by one, mostly by raccoons but I know we’ve got a few bobcats around here. So I’ve bought pond netting, but I worry about Aphrodite possibly getting entangled in it and drowning - that would also be heartbreaking. So for now she’s got to stay in her oversized goldfish bowl of a water trough until she gets a little bigger and stronger.

Susie and I detoured by the town square of Lancaster after our ride Monday morning since there was adequate shade for the ponies and had a nice mini-luncheon. Susie expressed how “this is how life should be”: a four-day work week with a three-day weekend is just about ideal.  Of course I already have my four day week with my Thursdays off, but while Thursdays used to be a riding day for me, they now seem to be eaten up with errands. Le sigh - welcome to adulthood, I guess!

But the best news of all is that Zach accepted the job offer from Quest Diagnostics - I am not supposed to publicize this until he actually signs the contract, but hopefully that will be accomplished today or tomorrow. He had actually gone on another interview with Dallas County (ironically enough, his father worked for the utility district decades ago) but he realized that his (ahem) lack of ethnicity would not work in his favor despite his academic qualifications.

I’m still waiting for Victoria, who is supposed to be ordering his graduation announcements. I’ll give it one more week and then I’m ordering something myself even if I don’t have formal photos

                                                 Lazing around with a plump python last weekend

                                                               Our creek at overflow stage

Easier to feed Bonnie the tegu in the tub - she had gotten out of her cage & squeezed behind my buffet which was quite amusing, she really did look like a little dragon in her lair; I should’ve taken photos but I was ashamed of all the dirt and cobwebs she stirred up! At least it was an excuse to get that cleaned up!

Reset

 The “History & Icons” channel runs Star Trek episodes 6 nights a week, in production order. I was very pleased that Sunday night it reached the end of the cycle: the last episode of the third season “Turnabout Intruder”, which is far from one of the best but I watch ‘em all anyway. I have developed an appreciation for William Shatner’s catty portrayal of Captain Kirk’s psyche supplanted by his vindictive ex, Janice Lester. The actress who portrayed Lester does an even finer job of “acting like a man”. Yes, it’s extremely dated & sexist but I appreciate it nonetheless - one short scene where Shatner is filing his fingernails is priceless! It also has that much-memed scene of Shatner falling back into the captain’s chair as the transference is weakening.

Nevertheless it was a relief to get back to prime Star Trek in Season One last night - it was also great for me to have a good holiday weekend where I got to ride TWICE, unprecedented!

Saturday’s ride was a bit disappointing - it was short and slow with our accommodations for Bobbie (age 75, riding her obese retired halter horse) and Heather riding her four-year old colt. Yesterday was better - we trekked the full length of AT&T trail, which is almost 14 miles out and back.  I rode Baraquinator, who’s been giving me sad eyes the last couple of times I have haltered Silas and taken him. I offered to bring Silas for Sam to ride but he respectfully declined - he said Thunder seems fine now (probable muscle cramp on Saturday) but he’s gonna give him a few more days off.

I didn’t get any pictures yesterday myself because - Baraquinator! But grabbed a couple of screenshots; Sharon always takes videos. Susie complained good-naturedly as she claimed to misunderstand me when I said it was “7 miles” - I said “7 miles OUT” (then of course you’ve got to reverse course & come back!)

                                     The big bridge over the mighty muddy Trinity

The Gambler

 … in no way, shape, or form describes me - I like a settled routine and I’m definitely a creature of habit.

I arose this morning to an empty house; Peran had gone to the fire station (on a Sunday morning? Well alrighty then). We are so disconnected it ain’t even funny, but every “bid” I make (if you follow any of the writings of Dr. Gottman, the relationship guru) has been rejected. Dinner date? Nope, he’s keeping to a light dinner tonight. Any movies look interesting? No, thank you (at least he is polite)

I do give Peran big props for attending Zach’s graduation with me, but he has shown no interest in this next phase as Zach decides his career path. As always, I will miss no opportunities to spend time with my son - last night he needed me (in truth, he needed the use of my truck 😉) but who’s quibbling? I  unhitched the horse trailer and took my butt to Irving. Zach’s best friend (& former roommate) Josef came by - it was great to see him, kinda seemed like old times as I took them out to dinner. Josef has lost a tremendous amount of weight pounding the pavement in his new career as a solar salesman/installer - I am so proud of him as he grew up as “the fat kid” - he’s got a serious girlfriend now and I joked that I hope to meet her soon. 

We went out for Chinese food and I’m even more thrilled to report that my weight is down another pound this morning despite that MSG! The new herbal formulas seem to be helping but I also sweated off quite a bit during yesterday’s short trail ride. I did a good deed picking up my friend Bobbie as her truck is having brake issues. We returned to the beautiful Wyatt Ranch, but unfortunately my friend Sam’s horse pulled up lame less than a mile into our trek - I think he pulled a muscle crossing the mighty Paluxy River.

We had a few more spatters of rain last night, but hopefully I’ll get in another ride mañana as the crew is supposed to convene at the AT&T trail on the south edge of Big D.

I’ll be puttering around with my alligator pen today even though Zach has me scared to death worrying about our predators around here - a baby gator would be tender pickin’s! We’ve had so much rain - I got up Friday morning to find a small crawdad in the middle of my driveway - this is a good 40 yards from my pond so I have no idea how it got there? He was “en guarde” (claws up!), but I gathered him up in my glove & carried him back down to the pond. (Yes, I thought about offering him to Aphrodite as a snack but he’s just big enough he might have fended her off with a nip on the nose)

             Poor Sam - we found nothing in Thunder’s feet so I presume it was a pulled muscle

Self-Pity

 …is no kinda pit to wallow in, I tell ya! I can hardly believe we’re 3/4’s of the way through MAY, we are creeping up on 5/25 - the date of my first-marriage’s anniversary, which is ordinarily something I pay little attention to except in passing. In an alternate universe, H1 & I would be approaching our 39th anniversary!!??!! We picked that date because it was conveniently between college semesters - we could take a week off and drove out to Big Bend & the Guadalupe Mountains for hiking…

Zach himself just got a job offer from Quest Laboratories for an entry-level position - I know it’s not his dream job (he’d love to get aboard at Texas Instruments), but, as I told him, we’ve all gotta start somewhere! I’m not putting any pressure on him at this point because I do want him to have what he wants, but that may not be realistic at this point in time? The job market is pretty damn tight (as I gaze into the kitchen where my mute unemployed spouse ignores me as he drinks his own coffee & peruses social media) Victoria made an ironic FB post about “no longer being a sugar mama” which gave me a laugh, as they’re living rent-free in the house that I bought!

I’m going to drop a hint - if Zach does want to take a little trip before diving into his future career, now’s the time! Last year they took a little road trip to New Orleans for his birthday and there’s still plenty to be seen here in our great State of Texas. I still haven’t decided where I’m gonna go for my mini-Memorial Day weekend.

I just read a Facebook post from a colleague who is having to have a hysterectomy and is worried her practice is gonna die on the vine, since she is not blessed with great staff like I am… My girls fill in a lot of the chinks, I tell ya! I laughed when I went to retrieve this meme because the quote is attributed to multiple sources: Helen Keller, Wally Lamb, and several others - even Shakespeare!?!

Self-Aggrandizement

 I was buzzing with a pleasant sense of accomplishment, since I got all my things to do checked off my list this weekend - except a horse ride! Just more proof that you can’t have it all…

Friday night: dinner with mijo, had to deliver Mila’s dinner (I store her bunnies in my big chest freezer), looped back home to complete one more task in the form of a house call for a neighbor.

Saturday: coaxed Mom into a shower at long last (ugh! Cannot dwell on that, it had been a month), rescued my friend whose Jeep was out of order to take her to run a couple of errands, buzzed into town to meet Zach at the aquarium expo (a slightly belated graduation gift was a desktop aquarium for him), dropped back down into Red Oak to show up at a friend’s pool party where I shouldn’t have indulged in that margarita! Between that and the party food, it gave me indigestion and a poor night’s sleep.

Sunday: drag-assed around Sunday morning, recuperating - but made it over for lunch with mom, got her laundry stored away (I’d also managed to get her bedsheets changed Saturday). I had hoped for a late lunch with mijo (we were scheduled to pick up his aquarium at the end of the expo Sunday afternoon), but obviously that was expecting too much - he had other plans. “A son’s a son till he takes a wife”, etc. Zach seems to have inserted himself into Victoria‘s family which is perfectly understandable. So I dawdled around Las Colinas - dropped off Z’s blue heron print for framing (it’s gorgeous if I do say so myself, another graduation gift), browsed the used bookstore, bought some minnows for Aphrodite at the pet store! (“What are you feeding?” - “You wouldn’t believe me if I told ya!”) Then buzzed back over to the expo at Market Hall to pick up Z’s aquarium.

Now I’ve got to get moving for another busy work week - I have a potential buyer that’s trying to low ball  me on the mobile unit - that reminds me to fire off another email. I’m not gonna give it away although it’s possible I may have been taken advantage myself of by a slick operator when I bought it? Live & learn,  I guess; I realize it would’ve cost us something in “rent”, so to speak to work out of any space.

Gluten-Free Geriatric

 Nowadays my social-media scrolling is more passive, but back in the day I eagerly followed multiple blogs - one of which was Shauna Ahern, the “gluten-free girl”. One of my pet peeves is grown women simperingly referring to themselves as “girls”:  I just looked it up and Shauna is two years younger than me, cringe!

While part of me feels like I’m just chucking surplus funds down the rat-hole, I had signed up for a consultation with a nutritional consultant - we ran a full panel of blood work and I sat down to have a video chat with her yesterday. She saw no horrendous problems - she complimented me on my magnesium and vitamin D levels, my thyroid numbers are good, although I am a little low on my T3 conversion. There is evidence of chronic inflammation in my CBC, which fits the long Covid picture - Dr R said in her experience most of the issues are gut-health related. Long story short, it was a nice discussion - she recommended another basketful of supplements… if they help me feel better and sleep better, I’m certainly willing to give it a try! The hard part will be cutting out gluten and dairy for two weeks (dairy more so than gluten because I do appreciate that splash of cream in my coffee)

Fortunately she did not try to talk me into full-scale bioidentical hormone replacement (Nature has a plan, which includes women aging!) although I will take a low dose of progesterone upon her recommendation. My poor mother was thrown into surgical menopause at age 34 -  hers was a completely different case, as I know she had a miserable time of things. My gynecologist offered me estrogen cream several years ago as I was exhibiting some mild atrophy but I never used it - it honestly wasn’t bothering me.

Just to round out the picture, I had also put in an order for more of my Chinese herbs - I got a big box of assorted samples yesterday;  I don’t even know where to start?

At least Ms Aphrodite is responding to treatment beautifully - when I set her out on the grass the other night as I was changing the water in her tank, she got up on her legs/feet exhibiting proper “gator posture” -  I felt as proud as any mother watching her baby take its first steps. Her appetite remains finicky but I have to remember,  even though she’s the size of a baby, she’s almost 2 years old and as such, her appetite is probably more along the lines of a juvenile with a couple of meals per week. She has been moderately stunted and we’ll have to see how much ground she can make up. I’ve got to consult with my colleagues at the zoo as far as vaccination protocols - for a while we were vaccinating crocodilians against several viral diseases including West Nile virus.

                                             This meme just spoke to me for some odd reason??

                     Look at all that colorful packaging - that makes me feel better,  just admiring it