The Measure of a Man

 My son is striving so hard to Be A Man, so I must breathe deeply & keep repeating to myself that he’s trying to help, he’s TRYING to help! And granted, I stepped in it - I should’ve given him a heads-up about the sale of the Mesquite house - but really, really, REALLY wanted to carefully explain my game plan to him face to face. So I likely would’ve spoiled our nice dinner last Wednesday - neither did I want to jump the gun until it was a done deal; the last buyer had all the preliminary paperwork signed and then backed out before closing date could be set.

So we closed on Friday: the title company actually send a mobile notary to my house which was super-duper convenient. I did a quick sale to an investment group - I know I took it on the chin, but I wanted to get my cash out of the house to pay other creditors. I missed the peak of the N Texas real estate market last summer; I held my tongue when Zach was throwing a fit about it because the plain and simple facts are, if he had helped me in dispersing the animals and getting the rest of his shit out of the house, I could’ve sold it last summer and probably netted another $40K. Then, of course, I went out of town for brief respite in horse camp last weekend. There are no secrets in this Internet age - apparently they saw the sale when Andy was showing him how to "check comps".

Zach was upset and embarrassed because Victoria‘s grandparents are both realtors & they got their feelings hurt because I did not enlist their services when “they would’ve done it for free”. There was NO WAY I would’ve taken advantage of them when Adela is still recovering from her broken hip and Andy is in the midst of cancer treatments! $5K in realtor’s fees is fairly inconsequential in the big scheme of things… when I sit metaphorically gripping my head and thinking about the tens of thousands of dollars the Texas Department of Transportation  has cost me, as I said, another $5K is no big deal.

I’ve been managing my own business affairs for almost 27 years now, and I’m not about to quit now. I learned I could trust no one when Michael left and cleared out our joint accounts - he did everything in his power to try to ruin me financially and drive me off the farm. I have never forgotten nor will I forgive that betrayal (not that M has come forward to make amends despite all his claims of becoming a "born again Christian", SNORT! Peran is a good man but we have never merged finances - he gave me a minor jolt last week when I feel as if he lied to my face: we went to dinner & I asked him what the long-range plan is? (as we surge into Month 14 of unemployment for him) He sullenly retorted “Get a job!” but would not elaborate. What if a position at his former level & salary range is not accessible? I know I am extremely privileged; as a veterinarian I’ll never have trouble finding employment even if I completely go bust at the new clinic and have to go to work for one of the corporations.

And speaking of avoiding bankruptcy, I’ve got to get on into work today. I’ll throw out a few pictures from last weekend

That’s Silas and I in the background but I can’t tell you what I’m gesturing at?

Just the Clues, Holmes

 Gripping my coffee cup as I puzzle out what unlikely series of events culminated in the best night’s sleep I’ve had in quite a while? I certainly ain’t complaining, but I’d like to pinpoint the pertinent factors so I can duplicate this feat!

I got three injections yesterday over lunchtime at the mobile supplement clinic: B12, their “immune booster” complex (glutathione, Vit C, zinc), and an amino acid cocktail. https://bodyshopwellness.rocks/b12-lipo-facts-and-info/

I joked with the nurse to juice me up because I had a lot to do! A farm call, and then I trekked across town last night to see my son - I will never pass up an opportunity in which he offers to have dinner with mom. (He wanted to introduce me to their Chinese joint which makes soup dumplings that are really really good) We then drove around the corner to visit the Mustangs of Las Colinas, bronze sculptures of a mustang herd which gallop through a fountain in the central plaza. Zach’s father started out working for Dallas County in the Las Colinas Maintenance District as they were building the infrastructure for this suburban development. We spent our wedding night at the Mandalay (now bought out by Omni) - a generous gift from my parents. Such bittersweet memories!

https://anniversary.lascolinas.org/

Victoria’s shifts have changed: she was previously covering an 11 AM - 11 PM shift, but now is working 3 PM - 3 AM. I don’t envy her - that’s brutal! - but I am certainly the beneficiary when my son wants company on a springtime night. I regret I finally had to tell him mommy has to go home - next time, I may pack my overnight bag 😉. (JK, I wouldn’t want to intrude on the “newlyweds” - after a few initial potholes, they seem to be enjoying their life in Irving) 

So, loading up on high-potency supplements, indulging in Chinese food, pleasant conversation & a little light exercise hiking around with my son = a good night’s rest. Ain’t complaining!

60 Years + 1 Month

 … is my age today and I’m feeling every minute of it! I suppose I’m putting up a brave front - I had a Zoom call last night with one of my younger colleagues (50’ish), who is researching putting together some sort of mental health initiative/work life balance for veterinarians. She had advertised for volunteers in one of my Facebook groups and I joked that I’d be happy to participate if she didn’t think this crusty ol’ Aggie would skew the statistics too much!

I was pleasantly surprised by my outward appearance as I had to look at myself during the Zoom call - I looked a lot better than I felt at that point in the evening! (It was scheduled for 8 PM so I’d had about an hour of recuperation in my recliner) I had also just gotten off a brief chat with my SIL Reva - a brief consult on her aging Boxer, so perhaps I was still a little juiced from that? It’s nice to feel loved and appreciated. Like that old song goes, I guess they can just keep on using me until they use me up.

I cringed inwardly when I saw Cindy K’s number (ride manager for this weekend) pop up on my phone yesterday afternoon - I knew what she was going to ask before I answered the phone. Sure enough, she’d like me to work a day and ride a day - at least that solves my dilemma about the wisdom of trying to ride both days! (I’d like to, but I think that would be pushing my limits physically with having to haul back Sunday night) At least at the endurance event, no one will question my “judgment”; I will be well-fed and moderately well-compensated. And as a staff member I can go hang out in the lodge!

Once again, got to finish my coffee and get on with my workday to get that much closer to the weekend.

Here is my outlaw Kwan - haven’t had the time to tame him down properly but he sho’ is cute!!! I offered him to a Facebook friend but she respectfully declined

The Friendzone

 A quick, rambling post this morning as I have a lot swirling around in my foggy lil’ head…

Irritation with hubby and with life in general as rain continues off n’ on - I’m holding out for next weekend to be a decent ride! He was tightening up his shoelaces to go out and dodge the mud puddles as he asked wasn’t I going to let Juan in (at the clinic) - I said no, Juan got the back floors painted yesterday and they are now drying, so I get to laze around with my coffee cup a bit this morning.

I would really like for there not to be a stopwatch on my every move, but I can’t help eyeing the clock as I think, OK I can have half an hour with coffee and social media, then I need to go try again to coax my mom into a shower! I failed yesterday, just escorted her to the dining hall since she didn’t want to go out in the rain. They really do have good food at this facility - there is an extensive menu from which the residence order restaurant-style. We had a minor laugh as mom ordered the daily special, which was sausage, peppers and onions - I had ordered the spinach salad which sounded good to me. Mom’s plate was brought out first; I waited for a bit and then the girl brought me my own plate of sausage, peppers and onions. I gently mentioned the fact that I had ordered a salad - the girl offered to go back and get me one, but I said no, I was fine with this. 

But it reminded me of that old SNL skit about the “All You Can Eat” restaurant - when they put the plate of food in front of you, they’d say “That’s all you can eat!” Maybe ya had to be there…

I know I have a terrible, no-good, very bad, horrible habit of befriending my employees - Misti and her family took a mini-camping trip/staycation to Cedar Hill State Park. I was very concerned about tent camping when severe thunderstorms were forecasted to roll through our area; fortunately it looks like most of them passed to the north of us. I was very tempted to text her and be sure all was well - when steady rains were drenching us yesterday afternoon, I thought about driving over to the state park to take them some Chick-fil-A or something but I held off… they are grown-ups and they can manage; besides, I told myself sternly that she took these few days off to get AWAY from the boss and worries about the clinic! I wish I could do the same.

Meanwhile, in other news, these anal retentive NATRC people are going to drive me clear out from under their tent! I had three riders question my scoring system (one of which was a math error so it was NOT ME!) as I was packing up to leave horse camp, two weeks ago. I don’t mind that - some endurance riders freak out when I give their horse a B or a C. I carefully explain that these are fine (subjective) distinctions because I have to find a way to separate these candidates when prizes are awarded. What is getting on my last nerve is, last week I got an email asking me to explain scoring on five cards and today I got another question from one of the other regional judges about two other cards. Ya know, folks - I’m an equine vet with 35 yrs’ experience; I don’t NEED to sacrifice time & resources for an amateur endeavor which doesn’t appreciate my expertise. Mea culpa, I know - I’m kicking myself for telling Gayle I was good with a $250 reimbursement for fuel - and I thought endurance vetting was a labor of love! At least when we pull in 50-60 riders, I can be paid “almost” a relief vet wage (typically about half what we’d get if we stayed home to mind our stores). Of course I realize none of us are doing it for the money - it’s also being part of the clique; no one questions my judgment at an endurance event! Guess this snowflake needs to get over herself - but it’ll also be a cold day in Hades before I put myself out like this again. I’ve already committed to standing by as emergency treatment vet at Alice’s ride next month, and Julie asked me about   vetting her OK ride in November, but that’s that! The rest of my ride weekends are going to be endurance or trail rides with my friends.

Why it’s hard to roll out some mornings when I DON’T have a hard deadline

Back to the Future

 (Loved the first movie, as I do any reasonably quirky, entertaining & engaging sci-fi time travel romp, but the sequels grew progressively sillier - I’ve never even seen BTTF3)

But anyway, this time change is killing me - here we are going into Day 4; my sleep remains disrupted as I sit here groggily clutching my coffee cup in a death grip.

We cleaned out Bertha (the mobile unit) as we moved into the front half of our remodeled clinic… still a lot of work to do but so far it’s fabulous to be able to stretch out and have a little more S*P*A*C*E!!! I was just skimming emails and laughing at myself when I reviewed my latest missive to my cousin: I mentioned how I’d like to start going to the gym again “when things settle down”. On Monday, I did have half an hour for lunch, but yesterday I had about 20 minutes! I should be grateful that we’re this busy** as I’ve got to reinstate the positive cash flow: today’s project will be seeing if a buyer is still interested in Bertha and if so, I need to get her down the street to the shop to have her catalytic converter replaced which was stripped out by vandals in Red Oak. (That should be in the neighborhood of $4K) She’s also sitting on two flat tires which I think just need airing up - Ronald had put new tires on her before we drove her back from Florida. She’ll make a good base of operations for somebody - mobile veterinary life just ain’t for me! I prefer working out of a central home base, even though it’s nice to get out occasionally for a farm call.

** my buddy in Houston has hit a slump; she’s been sending staff home early when they have nothing to do

Several clients came out to help us Friday afternoon during our move and thankfully, our husbands showed up to manage some of the heavy lifting. I’ll post some photos soon!

Another good photo of Jonni negotiating the gully obstacle - I’m the shadowy figure in the grey sweatshirt in the background; I was checking metabolics before riders descended into the gully

7iL Photos

 (since I didn't have a chance to download photos this AM) - & a couple of these I nabbed from FB!

                                              Mr Silas enjoying his beet pulp in camp

   Negotiating one of the obstacles: we had the riders descend into a creekbed, then pick their "best way out" which was a short steep climb to head towards the ribbon on the other side

                                                     (I just liked this sign)

Here's my friend Crissy climbing up another small hill - I am lurking in the background in a gray sweatshirt, evaluating the riders as they descend the hill & cross a small creek

I've decided one thing we need is "walk-off music" (just like MLB players play as they come up to bat) - that palomino mare's registered name is GoldDigger, so I pulled up some Kanye to bust a move!

Here Come Da Judge

 (Aging myself with an old “Laugh-In” reference)

The NATRC group is trying real hard to recruit me - I must admit their judging experience is much less strenuous than an AERC event! But it was also sad in the sense that I only had 19 riders - I don’t see how they can keep things going with such low levels of participation. I believe all equine sports are suffering from diminishing levels of participation - let’s face it, it’s expensive and each are highly specialized pursuits in their own ways whether you’re doing trail riding, rodeo, or dressage. It takes a tremendous amount of work to have a finished trail horse - I am deeply impressed by some of these ladies** - “Be one with the horse!” is a true fact for them. I took Mr. Silas just for camping practice mostly, although we did get out for a short ride Saturday afternoon. I mentioned his checkered past to some of the riders, and one gave me what I consider to be a left-handed compliment: “Every time I see you, you’re with a different horse!” Fair point! Maybe my dad was right - I’ve got too many horses! but with aging and injuries and my own issues, things are always changing…

** there’s an old joke about AERC being “the sport of the middle-aged housewife” since it is predominantly women, a lot of them have gotten their kids raised up and now have the leisure time to devote to their horses. It seems to be much the same with NATRC - there was only one man amongst my 19 riders, but David scored very well with his big solid Appaloosa “Ali Gator”. In a lot of cases the women are riding while the men volunteer for the P & R crew…

One NATRC tradition which I do prefer is the fact that they usually have a big potluck dinner on Saturday night. I had made a cheeseburger casserole, but as it turned out Gayle splurged on a big catered spread from Chicken Express, and the riders brought various desserts. As a result, despite moderately high activity levels, I came home 2 pounds heavier! I’m blaming most of that on excess sodium; it should all balance out.

And the girls and I will finish off the cheeseburger casserole  - that was our lunch yesterday and today.

                              Izzy likes new dog bed