One benefit to my endless social-media surfing is that it can be educational - I just added another word to my vocabulary. "Noeticism" refers to a state of inner wisdom or direct knowledge.
"A noetic experience is a state of intuitive illumination, a sense of connection to a higher truth. It skirts the ineffable and inscrutable. From religious epiphany to the overview effect to psilocybin-induced altered states of consciousness, a noetic experience is a visitation that never leaves us."
This writer (an MD & fellow long-Covid sufferer) was referring to the experience of the astronaut Edgar Mitchell, witnessing the diminutiveness of the Earth (& consequently, the human race) in reference to the vast expanse of the universe.
But then, like a zoom-in shot, reality returns “up close & personal” - and my breath catches in my chest again as those financial chickens circle back to their roost: right in the forefront of my consciousness! Maybe I could sense those apocalyptic hoofbeats approaching as my girls & I enjoyed our brief continuing-education weekend in San Antonio; shit has gotten realer than real as all these bills (routine stuff like pharmaceuticals & testing supplies, stacked on top of the electricians’ invoice for rewiring ($17K), another draw by the contractor ($14K), and the new cabinetry ($18K) require payment at the end of the month as another biweekly payroll period for my employees rolls around. I am skint folks - taking MORE money from my savings account to cover payroll as the last of that economic development grant evaporates! My dear old friend talked me off the cliff last night so I didn’t go down in a gibbering ball o’ flames. Lord knows I couldn’t talk to DH - I had to take a short-term loan from him a couple of months ago (also to cover payroll while I waited for the economic grant money).
I met another vet-school classmate & his wife for dinner last Saturday night in San Antonio; I could read the concern in their eyes as I relayed the news of P’s 8 mos of unemployment & fruitless job search. Todd offered to put P in touch with a headhunter he knows…
Hopefully we put up some good economic numbers yesterday; as soon as I finish whinging here I’m going to open up the banking app & recalculate where I stand.
I seem to have lost the thread I was writing. I hope there is some good news on the horizon soon. Is this project not close to completion? Seems like an awful lot of money when I doubt you are building the Taj Mahal. At some point it will have to stop hemorrhaging money.
ReplyDeleteI hope the headhunter can help P. Maybe P could help with some of the grunt work on the remodel to save money if he doesn't find work soon. Just keep plodding on in the meantime.
Definitely no Taj Mahal in this tiny town of Ferris! But even bare minimum basics seems to be costing the earth & sky. I will be calling in all my markers with friends, family & clients when it's time to complete the Big Move-In (emptying out the storage container & transferring our gear from Bertha & the surgery trailer into our remodeled workshop - guess I will start referring to it as the Taj Mahal since it's cost about 3X more than I had planned!)
DeleteI like catchy vet clinic names so I do like the name Ferris Taj Mahal Vet Clinic. Or Ferris Taj Mahal Critter Clinic. Or Val's All Creatures, Great and Small. Town and Country Pet Clinic. Or Brick Town Critter Clinic. Ferris Animal Kingdom. Equine, Bovine, Canine, And Kitty City. Or Val's Fin, Feather, Fur, Paws, Claws, Hooves, Skin, and Scales. LOL. Seems like these "vendors" of things you need should be saying something like, "Hey, we appreciate having a vet here and I want to cut you a deal." I think your clinic will be nice and that the people of Ferris are very blessed to have you! Hang in there.
DeleteGeeze.
ReplyDeleteSigh! ((( hugs ))) Hope that things improve.
ReplyDelete