Raise your hand if you’re an Edgar Allen Poe fan! My heart betrays me in almost every matter related to my son - even though I know anything I do (financial & emotional support, physical labor) can NEVER satisfy as "reparations", so to speak, for my son’s miserable childhood experiences… Not to mention of course, that I’m not responsible for the way his father treated him even though I feel terrible guilt that I did not do a better job of protecting him.
Word salad nonsense = self-justification for doing what I think is “right” as Zach continues his slow laborious climb (compare it to summitting Everest) towards adulthood/independence. He has pulled back a little from Mom as he’s gotten more seriously involved with GF Victoria. While I don’t want them to dash off & get married in great haste as his father and I did (I knew my parents would disown me for cohabitation), it has taken a little of the pressure off me as I have felt torn between husband & son (actually it’s no contest - blood is thicker than water). It doesn’t have to be this way, but I’m tired of Peran’s tale of his three-boxes-packed-on-a-motorbike story: being sent off to college which was the end of his parental support. It may have worked for him but I’m not gonna treat my son that way.
I love Poe and have a book of his.
ReplyDeleteYou certainly can't make up for Zs father but you have been a great mom.
Peran should understand more than anyone that being thrown out the day you turn 18 borders on insane for any "parent". Who does this kind of crap? I will tell you - people who care more about money and their own lives than the life of their child. I feel for Peran but you are not his "parental units". You didn't do it to him nor would you have. Neither would I. Our son lived with us till 2013. He was born in 1984. Not actually fun for any of us. We all made sacrifices. We made it.
I would've been perfectly content (even with college-boy disruptions, Zach coming & going all hours of the day & night) for Zach to still be living with ME; it was he & Peran butting heads which resulted in me buying Z's home in Mesquite... And as I continue to run back & forth, I think fondly of just moving in with Z on occasion (although that's probably off the table now that GF is in the picture ;-)
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