An Interesting Perspective

Here is a comment gleaned from Lyn's long-standing "Escape from Obesity" blog... I've followed her blog off & on for almost the entire 10+ yrs she's been blogging - more for the snark value these past few years, since after over a decade of yo-yo'ing, Lyn is no closer to "Escaping Obesity" than she ever was! She is either pondering her predicament, or making grandiose plans (a virtual bike ride across the country) which never come to fruition.
At last report, Lyn had topped out over 200 lbs again & I should be over the moon that I remain consistently ahead of her for these past several months, staying solidly within the "overweight" category, even if I've been at the upper limit of my  "comfortable" weight these past few weeks between Easter travels, Mother's Day & other indulgences which have ingrained themselves as stubborn habits. Time to climb back aboard the IF train!

I thought my problem was that I was "addicted" to sugar for years. Addiction being connected to emotional problems and weakness of character. So I thought I could fix it through willpower, working harder, whatever. But brain chemistry is a funny thing. I found out insulin surges are necessary for certain neurotransmitters to cross the blood-brain barrier. Carbs literally do make you feel better. And ironically, after a while, they can give you the willpower to start the whole cycle over again, feeling energized and positive and determined to do the same damn thing again that had never worked: cut them all out, get healthy, blahblahblah.
I found out I have ADHD and started taking adderal - a stimulant. Surprise surprise, my so-called addiction disappeared. My brain chemistry was more balanced. 
I've noticed you love stimulants - coffee, chocolate, sugar. I've noticed you wrote that on phentermine you felt "something is finally fixed." I bet the thing that was finally fixed was your dopamine levels. I bet your carb-fasting-cycle will continue in perpetuity because part of what you're dealing with is a biomedical issue. I'm sure there was lots of emotional baggage too. I'm sure you need to deal with that. But I'd bet good money there's brain chemistry involved too. The lack of motivation and follow-through (biking across America any more? no? how many days did that last?) is also a symptom of things like ADHD.
My adderal has not magically resulted in weight loss for me, but it has magically changed my cravings and eating habits for the better. "Magic" indeed. 
I have no interest in criticizing you. I've just noticed this pattern on your blog for a long time. I think this is going to be the last time I read your blog or comment on it, not because I think poorly of you, but because I think I've learned what I need to learn. I wish you luck in the rest of your journey. You never would have kept at it this long without willpower, so willpower is probably not something you lack, even if you feel like it. But the struggle against brain chemistry is not easily won.

The Horror...

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

...crept over me gradually as I scrolled thru last weekend's ride photos.
Yes, you really ARE that big! (having a small-framed, greyhound-thin lil' Arab only makes me look BIGGER by comparison)
Poor Baraq's ears are back in almost every photo = sour pony
I know he had to work like a sonofagun in the heat/humidity/& deep sand in many spots.
Obviously I need to either lose a LOT (as I mentally compare these to previous ride shots, the fact of the matter is that I'm relatively tall while Baraq is short!) - or buy a bigger horse!
It's like I said - when my ex-husband was freaking out years ago, after I gained weight post-thyroidectomy (he has a real & deep-seated fat phobia which I hope he is not inflicting on our son) - of course I can lose WEIGHT, but I can't lose HEIGHT!
Geez Louise if I could find my reset button I would push it RIGHT NOW. 

• vLOURON
  You need to get away from the mindset of being a fat gal in a skinny gal's body. I know how hard that can be Years ago I went through a program where I was suppose to visualize myself in a fave outfit thin Hat to say it doesn't always help but all we can do is keep trying. 
  Louise