Message reconstruction for my edification:
(First contact: 12/05/25)
Robert: Hi. How are you? I hope you are making progress on your fitness? How long have you been using your fitness pal?
My reply: 12/10/25 (I had received several blind inquiries like this from guys on MFP which had me scratching my head - I’m there for accountability & moral/emotional support, not as a dating app! But I see no problem with having male friends…)
Hi Robert -
I crossed over to MFP after my SparkPeople website shut down, while it seemed to be the “next best thing”, it ain’t the same!
Same day: poor grammar, a little disjointed - had me wondering, bot or catfisher?? & I don’t have photos of ME on my profile unless he stalked me onto one of my groups? (How would he know I’m “fit & beautiful”?? Do you come here often?)
Sorry hear that and hope you will be making more progress soon. Little wonder you look fit and beautiful. I've been using mine for about some years now. Although I've been having issues with my device and have not been sleeping properly of late. Which device are you using for your fitness pal right now?
Me: Mostly I use MFP on my ancient iPad, although right now I am using my work computer (shhh, don't tell! but sometimes it's good to be the boss!) I have gotten up a little early these past 2 mornings to roll around on my yoga mat - nothing strenuous, just stretching out a bit...
(Same day reply:) Wow that's sounds good. I can see you pushing so hard to lose more weight. So tell me which device are you using for your fitness pal right now?
Me: Nah, I don’t have the stamina to go “all-out” anymore… I bought a new FitBit about 6 wks ago as my early Christmas gift; it seems to be “good enuff” for my purposes. My son had gotten me something fancier (whose name escapes me!) several months ago, but my iPhone is so outdated it couldn’t download the necessary app
12/11/05: That's okay. I think I might just have to get another device instead maybe Fit-bit. The Apple watch I use now frustrates me and I was being sincere. You still look fit and beautiful. Whatever you are doing sure is working. where are you from?
Me: Born & raised in Big D (Dallas TX). Returned to the S side - about 30 mi S of downtown (where H1 & I could afford some acreage to keep our horses at home w/us), but it’s easy enough to drive up into The Big City if we want to go shopping or partake of any cultural amenities.
I don’t appreciate the ever-growing traffic issues, but not enough to seriously contemplate pulling up stakes & relocating…
RJ: Texas is lovely. Actually I'm from Raleigh North Carolina but currently deployed in Iraq. I serve the US Army. Retire in a few months. Quite exhausting being here. What do you do. your profession? Does it really helps with your fitness routine?
12/12/25 (me): Wow, Iraq?!? Thanks for your service - just so happens that my stepson (another long complicated story - he’s not really my stepson, that’s just an easier designation than saying Alex is my son’s adopted brother on his dad’s side) is in the process of completing basic training at Fort Moore. I don’t have many details - he’s probably still angry with me! as I said, it’s a long complicated bunch of blended-family nonsense. I sent him a friend request but I need to go check & see if he’s blocked me (Alex has blocked my son as well as Z’s fiancée).
My ex-husband was an Air Force brat, but his parents divorced when he was 5. I ought to type all this up in a blog post since I’m frequently asked about Family History by my son…
Anyway, I am a veterinarian - predominantly small animals but I treat a few horses & goats & potbellied pigs which keeps life interesting
RJ: Wow, I can understand completely how complicated a family history can be especially with a lot of moving factors and perhaps discounted emotions, but I just hope for peace in the family and that everyone reconciles cause no one really gains when the family is at odds with each other. At least I can tell from your right up that you have a good heart and you want to reconcile with him if he is open to it. I also think you have a lovely career. I’m sure you love what you do very much. I just hope it doesn’t get stressful for you sometimes. It’s a pleasure to know such a lovely woman as you. Are you still married now?
Me: Well, sure enough, when I logged onto FB I found that Alex has blocked me. I jokingly suggested to Peran (aka H2 - yep, I remarried!) that maybe Alex would accept HIS friend request, but he says he’s happy to not poke that hornet’s nest, to let sleeping dogs lie, or insert your favorite metaphor here… (He’s the guy who drove Alex to the airport when he left our household a couple of years ago. Let’s just say we all did not part on good terms! Alex had a lot of growing up to do - being in the Army may be the best possible outcome for him)
I may drop him a Xmas card in the mail which he’s likely to wing into the trash - I know Zach (my son) is done with him too.
It’s all just so sad - I need to write it all out; that’s always been therapeutic for me.
I remember when my uncle came to see me in the hospital right after I gave birth to Zach - this grizzled rancher tenderly held my newborn as he told me: “Your family is everything - the most important thing in life.” And he’s right. Unfortunately he had a stroke & passed away when Z was 6 wks old.
RJ: I'm really sorry you're carrying this weight, especially around the holidays when family stuff hits hardest. It sounds like a deep, aching kind of sad the kind where you can still feel love for someone even though the bridge between you is burned. I actually lost my wife to Lekuemia [sp] some couple of years ago. Single father. How many are your kids?
Me: My deepest sympathy on the loss of your wife - that’s rough. I have one (human) son - Zach, age 27.
Once again, that’s a long involved backstory - but when Z was born, my cousin bought him a tiny football jersey #23, bcz at that point we had 22 other dogs, cats, horses, donkeys, reptiles & 1 mule. 😉🤣
I see one child in your profile pic, is she your one & only?
Hubby & I are decompressing this evening by watching “The Menu”** which I find darkly hilarious. I have a love/hate relationship w/Ralph Fiennes - he’s either very very good or jaw-droppingly awful!
** definitely NOT a kid’s movie, but Z & I loved him in all of the Harry Potter films!
Postscript (12/13): My apologies - looking more closely at your picture I can see two kiddos!!! (I do need to go get the new lenses put in my glasses)
RJ: Yeah I'ma single father of two
Thank you so much, you are so kind. It's in the past now, life has to move on. I'm sure your kid (Adults now) is just as adorable as you are. I have two young kids. Struggled for kids for years before we got blessed with both. 15 and 12, their names are Oliver and Allison. Would have loved to send a picture but I'm not sure how to using this platform. I'm not so social media savvy. Are you on a better one like WhatsApp, Telegram or Google chat perhaps.
(& then I thought I pissed him off, didn’t hear from him for a week! I was wrestling with my conscience as to whether to switch platforms)
12/20/25, RJ: Good day pretty. How's your weekend going so far?
12/21/25: Not feeling “pretty” this morning, I’m sorry to say - suffering a lapse in judgment & getting myself tossed, creating hardship & pain for Christmastime - was not on my game card! On the plus side - I met my friends for a nice ride yesterday, we had beautiful mild weather. But as for the negative - I KNEW those boulders were boogersome, we had ridden past ‘em twice! So what foolish impulse made me lope up to ‘em that 3rd time, tempting fate?!? Twoie dumped me, no doubt have some cracked ribs. This made for a miserable night, but I just took another handful of ibuprofen which will give me some relief…
RJ: Sounds good. Would have loved to send a picture but I'm not sure how to using this platform. I'm not so social media savvy. Are you on a better one like WhatsApp, Telegram or Google chat perhaps.
I went ahead & decided to take the plunge:
Maybe I’m techno-savvy enough to do this:
Nope, apparently not! (Trying to send QR code for Telegram)
But you should be able to look me up as Val Jaffe (no imagination; that is my real name ;-)
Profile picture is of me on my gray horse Twoie, wading in a creek
RJ: Aww lol. Your name is actually so cute. Love it. Just tried searching for it on telegram but couldnt find it. Perhaps you could search for me on @blessedone54 Please let me know if you seen it. I have a lion head on my profile
Since then, we have chatted intermittently on Telegram, but at this point it’s been 18 days since I’ve heard from him, I hope nothing bad has befallen him. No fool like an old fool!
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