Advantages

 I do try to remain cognizant of the fact that I’ve lived a privileged life with many advantages which I have undoubtedly often overlooked in favor of my more typical mode of communication: the bitch, moan & gripe!

I was hanging out Saturday with my oldest friend Toni - not my oldest friend in age, just my longest enduring connection! - we grew up together, meeting in our close-knit suburban neighborhood at age 5. She was the youngest of 4 daughters whose parents divorced - her mother had a rough time of things. Toni & her sister Cathy hung out at my house a lot; there was a small age gap between them & their 2 older sisters - besides, who wanted to hang out with us bratty little kids? 

We were inseparable through 6th grade; we grew apart when my mom transferred me to Catholic school - I continued my middle school education in St Cecilia’s while Toni continued on in the Dallas public school system (Stockard Jr High, nicknamed “Stockyard”, & Kimball High School) Toni married straight out of high school, being unceremoniously booted out of the nest & had her first child before she turned 20. Her first husband turned out to be a drunken, cheating low life (he even hit on ME when I visited!) so once again, we drifted apart when I became enmeshed in the grind of pre-vet & veterinary studies. Toni divorced Randy, remarried truck driver Rick & bore him 3 more children. She worked as a teaching assistant at a Red Oak elementary school for 25 yrs, taking early retirement 2 yrs ago after being widowed in 2013. Then we were able to get our party started again!

(What takes me so long to assemble one of my historical posts is obsessive date & fact-checking! I couldn’t remember whether Rick passed away in ‘13 or ‘15 but I wanted to get it right!)

Toni’s middle son is going through Baby Mama Drama (of course I’m only hearing Toni‘s version of events, but some of her behavior sounds pretty wild & unhinged! I’ve tried to offer good advice - J was unable to hire my ex’s shark of an attorney since the ol’ bitch retired, but he hired her husband who is hopefully cut from similar cloth), so one silver lining of early retirement is that Toni has been able to help him with childcare of his two young ‘uns. This cuts into our shopping & lunch times but I should be economizing anyway…

Toni remarked wistfully as we drove back from visiting my mom last weekend - “You grew up in a house full of love!” & I replied yes, that was true for the most part but it certainly wasn’t all sweetness & light. My mom was deeply insecure - her misgivings being partially grounded in facts as Dad did cheat on her in the early days of their marriage. He remained a flirt with a boisterous personality, their theme song being that immortal classic “Good Hearted Woman” by Waylon & Willie. I really found no evidence that Dad ran around throughout my teenage years or young adulthood - then I jumped up & married Michael at the ripe ol’ age of 21, so I then had my own problems to worry about!

"Good Hearted Woman"

She's a good-hearted woman in love with a good-timin' man
She loves him in spite of his wicked ways
She don't understand
Through teardrops and laughter,
They'll pass through this world hand in hand,
She's a good-hearted woman loving a good-timin' man.

Well, a long time forgotten
Dreams have just fell by the way
And the good life he promised
Ain't what she's living today
But she never complains of the bad times
Or bad things he's done
She just talks about the good times they've had
And all the good times to come.

She's a good-hearted woman in love with a good-timin' man
She loves him in spite of his wicked ways
She don't understand
Through teardrops and laughter,
They'll pass through this world hand in hand,
She's a good-hearted woman loving a good-timin' man.

He likes the bright light, the nite life
And good-timin' friends
When the party's all over
She'll welcome him back home again
She don't understand him,
But she does the best that she can
This good-hearted woman
Lovin' a good-timin' man.

She's a good-hearted woman in love with a good-timin' man
She loves me in spite of my wicked ways
She don't understand
Through teardrops and laughter,
They'll pass through this world hand in hand,
She's a good-hearted woman loving a good-timin' man.
She's a good-hearted woman loving a good-timin' man.