I am abashed to admit that I was not really looking forward to my “Girl’s Day Out” Saturday with my friend Janay & her daughter. Janay & I are fellow veterans of ye olde custody wars: we met as fellow victims of an unscrupulous custody evaluator who had a real axe to grind against mothers! (Out of a group of five, I was the only one who retained primary custody; his actions were truly unethical & horrifying) I’m thankful we were able to band together, file complaints, testify at a board hearing & get that man disqualified from performing custody evaluations…
Janay & I have stayed in touch; in many ways we continue to deal with the repercussions of our family implosions decades after-the-fact, trying to help our children as we handle our own issues. Are the kids all right? For now, things to be seem to be headed in the right direction.
Anyway we met for brunch & set off from there to go to good ol’ NorthPark Mall (Janay & I have such fond memories of this mall from our own childhoods; it was one of the first in the Metroplex!) & do some “retail therapy”. I bought some jewelry: a necklace & earring set for Ashley as she is retiring after 28 yrs of grooming dogs for me! We are having a big “clinic family” dinner Wednesday night so Dr M & her husband can attend. I was contemplating how “the joy is in the giving” as I also bought little stuffies for a couple of my employees’ kids & thank-you cards which I need to pass around. Then I came across these great thoughts from Dr Deb as I skimmed FB this morning:
I write because it is therapy for my brain and helps me make sense of what I see and do everyday and it helps me grow as a human. I write because I have been there and done that and if my story helps someone not make the same mistakes I have made than it was worth the time to write. I write because if we never share what we have learned then we are responsible for the future generation’s failures. I write because then people can read or not read and hopefully if they do read they will open their mind up to consider what and why they do what they do and maybe learn from my mistakes or lessons. I write in hopes that one day my children will read my writings and learn from my mistakes and not have to go through the same struggles and stupidity lessons. I do not want to be doing the same things and acting the same way a year or five from now because growth is constant and if we never do any self inspection, we never grow and who wants that life?!
A real nudibranch (Addyson really loves 'em)
Love the "great thoughts", by the way. I was gifted with my mom's journals after she passed, and it felt (to a degree) like invading her privacy. I then went and re-read some of my old journals, and gained insight, then shredded both mom's and my own. I write as therapy, too. It gets stuff out and helps to process it! But I'm not sure I want it hanging about once it's all resolved. Now, of course, 25 years later, I'm having third thoughts about having done that shredding...
ReplyDeleteCan't win when you have a brain that will not stop!
I've journaled since I was a teenager - for my own needs, never intending friends or family to read... However, when my ex learned of my habits, he would make it a habit to search out & read my journals, even trying to use them as ammunition in the Custody Wars when things came to that?!? (thankfully the judge laughed him out of court but still, that was humiliating)
DeleteI burned all the journals of my youth/young adulthood which I also now regret - maybe future historians can learn something ;-) ??
I also shredded. No regrets.
ReplyDeleteThose photos, by the way, are very cheery. That was the word that came to mind. Retail therapy is a good thing, especially when done with good friends!
ReplyDelete