Vegas Photo Dump

 (while I have been forbidden to post photos on social media, surely I can share a few w/y'all here!)

                                                      The majesty of Hoover Dam

                                                     Tina Fea Does Vegas :-)

Everything Everywhere All At Once II

 (I knew I had previously utilized this title; here’s Entry the First:)

https://endurovetssparkjourney.blogspot.com/2024/01/everything-everywhere-all-at-onc.html

It feels as if the weight o’ the world is upon me this morning, as I slump exhaustedly in my chair - trying to juice up for another busy day in the aftermath of getting the kiddos hitched…

“How was it?” everyone asks, as I admit there was a little drama (not on my end!!), but overall I think it worked out just fine. While Z & V had originally planned to just elope by themselves, somehow it metastasized into a party of 11: Peran & I, Victoria’s parents & grandparents, her dad’s buddy “Big Joe” & his wife, & last but not least, Z’s best man & former roommate Josef. As things seemed to be spiraling out of control last weekend - Z & V were understandably upset at the inclusion of Big Joe & his wife - I asked Z how I could help? He asked me to buy Josef an airline ticket, which I promptly did. We scooped Josef up on the way to the airport & folded him into our lil’ family group; he is another unofficial nephew after all! (Several people presumed that he was Zach’s brother)

Zach had been tied up at work in OKC all of last week & didn’t get home until Thursday night, so the bride & groom didn’t fly to Vegas until Friday. We had already booked our departure for Thurs, so Jo & I drove out to see Hoover Dam Friday morning - it was awesome as always! (Josef had never ventured out to behold it on his previous Vegas excursions) We met up Friday night for dinner (more minor drama as V’s grandparents felt excluded; of course they were since Z made a faux pas by failing to invite them?!?)) & were given our marching orders to meet at Z & V’s hotel (the Wynn) at 4 PM Saturday to board the party van that the Two Joes (V’s dad & Big Joe) had booked for the wedding party…

On Saturday, we passed the time by going to the Mob Museum which was interesting & informative - also jam-packed for their half-price "celebration" of the Valentine's Day massacre (NV residents were free, all else were half price). I picked Z up a copy of Frank Calabrese's book; he was there for Q & A's & to sign copies. Minor stress as we gathered our party together Sat afternoon, but in the end we all made it onto the van without a hitch. Elvis did his thang & we went back to the Strip for a couple more hours until our celebratory dinner at another fine dining establishment at the Fontainebleau.

Dear Tina Fea was an awesome lil' traveler; but she was so excited upon our return Sat night as she ran about & spun in circles that she made herself vomit! Good thing I had a few bites of leftover steak for her ;-)

And that, as they say, was that - we flew back on Sunday as the kids continue on their honeymoon to San Diego! I'll post some photos when technology cooperates & I have a few more free moments.

Disgruntled

 … is what best describes my mood this morning. Overlying (or underlying?) everything is my low-grade malaise as I recover from the crud that Misti shared with us all last week. 

My original plans to take Victoria out for a “dinner with the old married ladies” had to be scrapped with Misti being sick, Kristy tied up in her own family drama, & Amber having her own date-night plans, so I wound up just taking the kids out to dinner myself which was very nice - how can I refuse Mijo when he invites himself?!? On Saturday I laid low, fasting & drinking lots of vitamin C, & on Sunday I went for a short ride. Dear Tony will always be that glass half-empty kind of person - we had a challenge getting Katie-mule loaded, nor he did enjoy riding her! Yet he has invited himself to my next endurance event in two weeks - we should be able to just share Twoie: he’ll ride him on Saturday, I’ll pick up his reins Sunday… Go Twoie!!! Gotta make hay while the sun shines!

I was a little peeved that I did not get an invite to my trail-riding buddy’s Super Bowl party, makes me feel as if Val is fine for hitting up for free veterinary advice, but when push-comes-to-shove I’m out in the cold like the little match girl. In all likelihood, I would’ve declined the invite anyway since I don’t wanna expose anyone to my crud - but it would’ve been nice to have been asked…

Now I will sulk my way into a shower & get on with my Monday - I can’t believe my son’s wedding is less than a week away! I wrestled myself into my shapewear yesterday and pronounced it acceptable if not ideal…

Never miss an opportunity to see my kiddos; I only hope I didn't expose them to my crud!

I offered to loan Victoria these replica Jackie Kennedy pearls which were my grandma's; she loved collecting Franklin Mint's offerings! If Victoria really likes them, I'll probably gift them to her since I think I've worn them perhaps twice since my grandma's passing in 1999...

& here's another candidate for the "something borrowed" category: the hand-sewn wedding bell which Peran's mum made for me to carry along with my bouquet when we were married...

Total Recall

 (Love the original Schwarzenegger flick, never even bothered to try to watch the remake! Occasionally get sucked into the debates as to whether the whole thing was, in fact, “just a dream”)

But a dream/imagination sequence that left a lasting impression on me was the boy who lost his Red Pony - anyone else scarred by that film??? Nevermind that it’s considered another one of Steinbeck‘s masterpieces, that scene where Jody imagine his poor pony trying to fight off the buzzards - when in fact he has already died, escaping from the barn to collapse in the field - gave me nightmares as a child. And what did that poor pony die of? Strangles - something that is part of our routine vaccination package these days. It’s such a nasty disease that even despite vaccination, some animals still are infected…

Anyway, I had to face my nightmares yesterday when I had to put out a round bale for the horses. Dear Moonie had a “Tibetan sky burial” since I was unable to secure the services of a gravedigger. While I could not bring myself to go inspect what 2 weeks of time, decay, the elements & scavengers have wrought upon my baby, I couldn’t help but see the high arch of his rib cage out of the corner of my eye. Circle of life, my ass! In a few more weeks, I may take the wheelbarrow & gather up a few bones to bring up the hill & inter by his mama. It’s the least I can do.

Alternative Realities

 (Started to type “Endings”, but even as rotten as I’m feeling these days, I think I am years away from that clearing at the end of the path)

I do need to sit down in a meditative stance - for me these days, that’s in the recliner with my lap full of little dogs! - and think seriously about what the hell I am doing here? While I keep on setting these micro-mini goals for myself: Z & V’s wedding, upcoming rides - on a day-to-day basis, it’s a struggle & I must admit, I’m not enjoying this phase of my life. Chronic illness is a B*I*T*C*H as I stagger around with worsening shortness of breath. I went ahead & made an appointment  at MD Anderson after a 10-yr boycott, bcz they're the only place w/a comprehensive care team where I feel as if I might get some answers (even if they're unfavorable ones)

I’ve contracted with one of these tax abatement attorneys - finally got a huge batch of paperwork together & mailed it in yesterday. Let’s hope I can at least break even on this deal, but I’ve got to get out from under this suffocating feeling of failure - not to mention the fact I don’t want the IRS to start levying liens on my properties! This whole disastrous eminent-domain/relocation nightmare has almost demolished me but I’ve gotta find a way to crawl back to some semblance of what I thought my own version of “All Creatures Great & Small” might be…

Army Guy asked me what I might do differently in my life? I told him I couldn’t go down that path -second-guessing oneself is no way to live! Exact quote:

“Thanks for the acknowledgment, but I’m still angry at myself for getting so far behind the 8-ball!!! Procrastination is probably my biggest character flaw & I’m also real bad at second-guessing & what-iffing myself - “If only I had done X, Y or Z” but of course life doesn’t work that way. Maybe that reality is finally sinking in for me at almost 62 yrs of age!

The past cannot be changed, it can only be managed & if I hadn’t been an impulsive youngster when I married my first husband, I would never have gotten my wondrous son out of that raw deal. That long & winding road has brought me exactly here to this place in time** & I’ve got to figure out how to make the best of it…

** I don’t know how big of a sci-fi geek you are? but while Star Trek is my favorite, I’ve got to go back & re-watch Interstellar to figure out the wormholes. (A nearby theatre had a special showing last week, but the weather was still crap so I didn’t get out to see it)”

& now, like it or not, I’ve got to get on into work. Misti has already texted in sick 🤦‍♀️