Friday, January 9, 2026

Absence of Malice

 …was a pretty decent flick “back in the day”: Paul Newman, Sally Field - what’s not to like? (I just skimmed the Wikipedia entry to refresh my memory on the plot, since the most memorable thing for me was the title! As I recall, it was played up at the time largely due to the romantic tension between the lead actors)

But speaking of romantic tension, I have a confession to make: that army guy has popped back up & I’ve been messaging him on Telegram. Super casual, “getting to know you” type stuff - he’s a widower, deployed in Iraq w/2 teenaged kids (he has not divulged which family member is taking care of the kids, but I haven’t pressed him on it either - as I said, our communications have been intermittent & superficial) I have a small, squirming underpinning of guilt about the whole situation - of course, I told him right up front that I’m married, with a brief synopsis of family history…

I was asking myself, as I lay awake in these predawn hours if I would be embarrassed for either my son or my husband to read our dialogue - no, I would not! Fundamentally, I’m ashamed of my neediness as I watch for those little checkmarks to pop up showing that he’s read my messages. There’s an old parable I used to quote in reference to my ex about a Russian farmer & his starving horse: each day, he would feed him less & less until one day, the horse died. I stood over Peran last night until he lifted his eyes from his phone screen - I told him those little videos were rotting his brain, which he denied as he promptly dropped his gaze back to that irresistible screen again…

Obviously I am no better, as I tap this little keyboard. In other news, in only 5 short weeks we’ll be in Vegas preparing to get Z & V married off… I rolled up my sleeves yesterday to dye my old wedding dress lavender - I will have to post some pictures because I think it turned out pretty well! And in another tribute to the power of advertising, I ordered a pair of orthopedic purple ankle boots off a FB ad which I hope will be comfortable for this occasion.

1 comment:

  1. Addictive, these little screens, aren't they? Ember pulls me back into "real life" as do human appointments, but then when the chance arrives, here I am again! Hoping to catch a glimpse of that newly dyed dressed when you get around to it!

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