Monday, November 23, 2020

My Own Worst Enemy

A slight weight loss - dipping below that 190-lb threshold when I've been fluctuating in that 191-195 lb level for MONTHS - triggers reflexive consumption of Tex-Mex, pizza, and other high-carb options, causing a slight rebound and also making me wonder where today's near-embarrassment originated...
The sauce on those crab cakes? Too many capers perhaps? But probably yesterday morning's disappointing, dry chorizo & egg breakfast burritos...

Maybe one of these years I'll learn?!?

Better Living through Biochemistry...

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Well SparkFriends I feel a little better today, after allowing myself the indulgence of a good cry yesterday on my lunch hour...

I scrubbed out the truck last night to remove the last lingering traces of that smell of death, glad that I picked simple vinyl upholstery & rubber floor mats!

But yesterday I also had time for a brief gym visit, & I couldn't resist the allure of that big empty treadmill belt (yes I'll have to admit there was a certain element of self-flagellation there: so WHAT if it hurts my foot?!?). So I knocked out a slow n' easy 2.1 mi, that lil' dose of endorphins did me untold amounts of good!

And whaddaya know, my R foot didn't hurt at all! Today I feel a pleasant stiffness & soreness throughout my quads & lower back - however today I will concentrate on STRENGTH TRAINING + elliptical despite my burning desire to crank out a few more miles... I figure if I limit the running to 2 or 3 times per week, my foot will be alright.

I have been doing my toe-gripping exercises, wearing my Vibrams & my Yoga toes whenever I think about it. So far so good!

The Inverted Pyramid

Monday, May 16, 2011

...otherwise known as "8 1/2 weeks - holy sh!t!"

I got my confirmation-of-entry letter for Tevis (if I were as clever as some of my SparkFriends I'd scan it in) although it's nothing special at surface value: just simple acknowledgment that you've met their requirements, they've cashed your check, good luck on the ride!

The rest of the responsibility falls squarely on my own lap.

Last weekend I racked up another 50 under relatively mild weather conditions in Houston - damn, I was counting on that heat & humidity as training tools! Overall a great ride, w/the exception of our trial-by-fire: leaving the 3rd vet check (this was a point-to-point ride going around approx 2/3 of the perimeter of the airport), we had to go up the frontage road of the main entry of Intercontinental Airport... Two big car-hauling semis came thundering by & scared the bejeezus out of Baraq - he completely lost his mind! He was spinning in place, side-passing & doing basically everything BUT traveling in a straight line!

Zach & I had left out ahead of a couple of friends of mine, so once I got him safely around the corner we held back to wait for 'em - the mule had too much good sense to pass him, but once my friend put her good solid Appy gelding in front of Baraq, he settled down & would at least travel in a straight line!

Once again, our beautiful mule was perfection herself: flawless metabolics, ate & drank like a champion... She still has a bit to learn on doing our trot-outs & balked at loading up in the trailer to come home (I think she was enjoying the amenities of camp too much - extra rations!), but overall I could not be more pleased. When Baraq started his nonsense, my son advised me many times that I'd NEVER get him through Tevis - I said that's fine, you're just legging up that mule for me then!

It feels like a shaky inverted pyramid instead of a big solid base, but I'm going to buckle down & strive towards that goal - that big silver Tevis buckle is worth it!

A Nadir

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

(..."the lowest point; point of greatest adversity or despair")

Let us only hope this is the case. Some unholy combination of panic/ despair/hormonal imbalance/insomnia (insert malady here) has mushroomed into uncontrolled eating & an astonishing 6-lb LEAP up the scales!

(Yes, of course I know that can't possibly be 100% FAT - a lot of it is bloat but nevertheless very discouraging)

Scanning unflattering photos of myself from last weekend's ride don't help a bit; I keep telling myself "Who are you trying to kid? You'll never get through 100 miles!"



& that is far from the worst of the bunch - the worst show me slumped in the vet check area, looking for all the world like I'm 8 mos pregnant: terrible posture, protuberant abdomen, etc.

I did not feel as debilitated & fatigued as I did on my previous two rides in April, but then again it wasn't anywhere near as hot & humid!

I seem to be hurting myself rather than helping, w/my obsessive cyber-surfing as if I'm going to come across the perfect combination of motivation/support/similarity that would help propel me through a single DAY, let alone an entire WEEK of healthy behavior.

It's as if I want to ruin any chances I have, before I even start. What am I so frightened of?!?

A Wild Ride...

Friday, May 20, 2011

Yesterday was somewhat brighter, as I drank my "Yogi Tea" + lots of water, & urinated like the proverbial racehorse...

Down 3 lbs this AM which at least is going in the right direction. This feels completely insane, however - what kind of metabolism fluctuates almost 10 lbs w/in a single week?!?

(I raise my hand timidly to wave - oh yes, that would be ME!)

Today I'm fighting a dull headache which hopefully is partially detox as well as sinus pressure - it won't go ahead & just RAIN which we so badly need! Just a stubborn low-pressure zone of dark clouds & high humidity... Yes of course I need to ride this weekend, but we need the rain far far worse.

I'd better keep on track w/my gym visits, short n' sweet though they may be - I think they're the only thing keeping me w/one tenuous foothold on my commitment to good health! Hopefully more later...

(Another source of stress: can't blog from home computer; the "Add a Blog Entry" box stays up permanently, which computer-expert hubby cannot explain?!? As we wait for news from last week's interview - hope he lands SOMETHING soon; we're starting to get on each other's nerves! For once he's caught up w/all the mowing although there's ALWAYS farm chores to be done... However I don't want to feel like his taskmaster: "Honey, today you need to do X, Y, & Z!"
But neither is he a particularly adept house-husband - pot, say hello to kettle!)

My Recent Comments...

Friday, May 20, 2011

...on KINSBAILE's blog grew into what might as well be an entry of its own!

(She was questioning our involvement w/others in our fitness/exercises regimens, but above all urging us to go ahead, get out there & JUST DO IT!)

I was lamenting the fact that I seem to have the weird effect of extinguishing my spouse's enthusiasm for any given activity; it's the ol' hyper-competitive jock in me coming out!

A.) Shortly after we married, he bought me a bike so we could cycle together; we trained for a couple of MS-150's but has mostly left his bike sadly gathering dust in the garage these past few yrs... (he had successfully completed the MS-150 in Y2K)

B.) Now he KNEW I was a competitive horseback rider practically from the 1st day we met! - so I was greatly encouraged when he decided to learn to ride & we bought him his very own horse in '04...

Unfortunately a couple of limited-distance events were enough to "satisfy his curiosity", so to speak & nowadays he only rides his poor neglected pony 2 or 3 times a year! I was happy when he elected to come out & ride w/me a couple of weeks ago, but it isn't as if that ignited his enthusiasm...

(don't worry, Champ is such a GOOD horse that I ride him myself, or put inexperienced friends aboard; he's really not THAT terribly neglected!)

C.) Still have not found the perfect sport for my 12-yr old son, even though he'll still ride w/me, given the appropriate bribes ;-)
But I'd love for him to take up something (other than XBox) that we could do TOGETHER - while there's still time! (i.e. while he'll still hang out w/Mom)

He didn't enjoy soccer as a 1st grader (coach was too competitive; over the course of the season ALL of the little boys except Z & one other dropped out - we could barely field a team!), suffered through a depressing losing season on the basketball team as a 6th grader, & recently gave up his tae kwon do, due to lack of support from his father coupled w/increasing school pressure (schoolwork still has to be Job 1). I'd love for him to take up tennis (I was a fair enough tennis player way back when), but he has to understand it is not BASEBALL; he can't swing for the fences!

Postscript: I may have figured out that part of the reason for today's dull headache is likely DEHYDRATION, since I'm way behind on usual water consumption... Been too damn busy, w/my associate gone today for her church mission trip to Tanzania! but I just chugged 16 oz over these past 30 min & hopefully will FEEL BETTER soon...

Restart 2.1

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

So far, so good... Of course I shouldn't get way ahead of myself; my official workday hasn't even started yet!

But I made my blender of protein shakes to cover breakfast + lunch - I am SO not looking forward to today it's hard to put into words. There are no Sick Days/Mental Health Days/(insert excuse here) when you're the boss & your associate has taken 2 wks off to go on her church-mission trip to Tanzania. At least I will have Dr F's help on Fri, so it's just Mon/Tues/Wed I have to hold down the fort all by my lonesome...

It used to be in years past that I appreciated the challenge of these busy spring & summer days (spring & summer are the busiest seasons for a vet clinic), but yesterday I dragged home w/my feet aching, my shoulders & upper back a knotted mess of tension... Didn't have time to go by the gym for even the tiniest bit of stress relief... I did a few perfunctory yoga poses before collapsing into bed, dreading having to get up & do it all over again today & tomorrow.

I have to keep reminding myself that I CHOSE this lifestyle - what makes this week even more unmanageable is the fact that my head receptionist is ALSO off, so that makes the scheduling even more chaotic (yesterday we were double-booked on appts ALL DAY LONG, but at least there were only 3 surgeries)... I might just kiss Toni when she returns to work tomorrow. There's an ugly rumor that she might be hunting for a better job - it's true, I would hate to lose her, but it's certainly true that no single person is irreplaceable (not even ME!).

This entry has veered off far from its imagined course - what I was mulling over in my head this AM was the slow consolidation of my Tevis plans, of which first & foremost must be at least getting back to where I started from... These past couple of wks, it's been a precipitous jump UP 6 lbs, DOWN 3, back up 1... Putting me at 217 as I fill my thermos this AM. I made a new FB friend who offered helpful hints from CA - she lives in the immediate vicinity of The Trail, will be crewing for mutual acquaintances at Tevis, & has recently lost 15 lbs w/"more protein less carbs and the carbs that you eat should be very very high in fiber as to cancel out - drink 1/2 your body weight in water"

Whew. I know I will only be a half-hearted adherent to her principles at best - I should know from long hard experience that radical diets A.) don't work & B.) don't last as long-term behavioral changes... (a thread celebrating another friend reaching "goal weight" as he was shedding a few lbs to get through the Old Dominion ride next month; he was joking that he'd ride NAKED if he had to!)

but now it's off to work w/me, like it or not - hopefully a daily progress report later! (if I'm lucky I'll even get in a gym visit)

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