We are a pretty up-close-&-personal, in-your-business type of family… I’ve made lighthearted commentary for years that I don’t have siblings, I have cousins! (Of course that was proven in error 4 years ago with the discovery of my half-sister, but that’s still a deep dark secret to most of the family - even though I am not ashamed about an apparent torrid romance my dad had prior to marrying my mom**, I still need to keep this fact from drifting across my mom‘s consciousness even as she grows increasingly detached)
** during our sole weekend meet-up, Linda & I determined that she was conceived during a brief “hall pass” break when my grandfather had taken my mom out of the country on vacation. I guess you could consider that unfaithfulness, put that’s my thorny ethical dilemma for another day. “She is dead now; dead & buried” - a poor paraphrase
Anyway I’m still in shock from learning that my cousin’s husband of almost 25 years has left her: 4 almost-grown kids, a huge historic home in Waxahachie, and an empty résumé. (Vanessa has devoted herself to being a SAHM) I’m terrified for her - not that I’m trying to hold the tragedy sweepstakes; while I think it was more traumatic to be abandoned with a newborn, at least I had a career & an income source I could lean into. I need to reach out to her to be sure she is protecting herself: of course Texas does not have any requirements for spousal support or alimony; we have to hope that Robbie plays fair. I wonder who his side piece is - I’ve seen it proven over & over again: men don’t leave unless there is somebody else.
Family secrets is a whole big deal. My mother was very open with us about various and assorted things in the family, and it wasn't until I was an adult that I found out my cousins (mom's sister's kids) didn't know about Grandpa F. spending time in prison. It was writing Christmas cards to my husband's relatives that I found out I wasn't supposed to mention his sister's children because Grandma H. didn't want anyone knowing they existed because she didn't approve of her daughter's choice of mates. Whew! It's just a whole lot easier to keep track of the truth than any version that was made up.
ReplyDeleteHope your cousin lands on her feet, and good on you for reaching out to her!