The Moth & The Flame

 Once again Val has screwed up - I did not cancel my monthly membership to the acupuncture clinic, so I’m on the hook for another month’s worth of these treatments. While I can’t discern any earth-shattering health improvements, it does seem to help my sleep quality. Unfortunately the clinic changed their schedule & is no longer open on Thursdays, which is the main reason I signed up! So I have been trekking up there on Tuesday nights and either Saturday or Sunday…

Last night when I emerged from the soothing dim lights & mellow music, I saw that I had a missed call from my son (of course NO CELL PHONES in the treatment area, which is a great thing - I need to set aside the technology more often!). A short game of cat & mouse ensued because of course, when I tried to call him back he didn’t answer, but I could see his location so I headed thataway… we finally linked up at Aldi where I accompanied him on a short stroll browsing through the store. I couldn’t bring myself to buy anything even though I’ve been daydreaming about what I might have for dinner as I lay on the acupuncture table - now nothing sounded good! The fundamental problem was that I didn’t feel like cooking - I wound up going through a drive-through and buying a couple of tacos; not the best nutrition but far from the worst.

Zach is getting stressed out about my financial predicament - I appreciate his concern but him coming up with what I consider harebrained schemes (like selling off rental properties) would be counterproductive. Mea culpa for oversharing - it isn’t that I expect him to solve any of these problems; I’m just trying to use myself as a prime example of how not to manage your money.

He called me as I was getting ready for bed and talked my ear off for another half an hour until I told him we both needed to get some sleep: worrying about these things was no longer helpful! I have to hold on until the first week of December when Dr. W is coming to pick up the surgery trailer…”Every day in every way I’m getting better and better!” (10 points if you can identify that quote)

Just Another Manic Monday

 (I realize that today is Tuesday, but I damn sure didn’t have a chance to blog anything yesterday!)

I got an unprecedented 3 calls from my son yesterday - the first two were appreciated but unremarkable; just routine stuff. Zach is dealing with the aftermath of his car accident: fortunately the other party is accepting complete responsibility which means he was able to pick up a rental car yesterday & return Andy’s old Lexus. The old reliable warhorse of the Impala is fixable with Andy’s help in finding a body shop, which is great news…

But when he called me at the end of the day asking me if I wanted to meet for dinner, Z’s voice sounded funny - of course I would come meet him even though Monday night would be something out of the ordinary. I was glad I had completed my errand of mercy over lunchtime, making a house call for a friend to euthanize their elderly Doberman. Fortunately traffic coming from the south (going into town) is minimal in the evenings; Zach asked me to rendezvous at Andy & Adela’s house which there again was perfectly reasonable since Andy has been struggling - I had tried to take them some Chinese food on Sunday, but Adela had taken him back to the VA.

It came as a complete shock when Zach walked into their kitchen with his little bag from the high-end jewelers - his surprise was that he had gotten Victoria‘s rings paid off! He had not mentioned a word about it for months & months; with their recent “little bumps in the road”, I’d been afraid to ask. Of course I’ll post photos when I can - I don’t want to rain on my son’s parade, but as much as he would love to propose to her when they go to Mexico next week, all three of us (Andy, Adela & myself) advised him not to take the rings into Mexico. Andy said it best: that Z might make an honest man a thief. Fortunately Zach seemed to get where we were coming from, but he rushed off shortly thereafter to talk to his friend & former roomie Brooks. Adela loaded me up with leftover birthday cake so Peran & I could have our own little celebration when I got home. This does make me glad to be the mother of the groom with less financial obligations - I had offered to sell my old rings and contribute those meager funds towards the cause, but there’s not a market for small, mid-quality natural diamonds when you can obtain these huge, flawless laboratory-grown ones for a fraction of the cost.

Today’s gonna be a terrible Tuesday in its own way, so I’d better start getting ready. My dogs woke me up barking at something around 2 AM but I managed to shut down my anxious brain and drift off back to sleep until shortly after 6:00.

The Ties That Bind

 I had to look it up to confirm dates, but when PF Chang’s came on the scene in the early 90’s, I remember it as more of an upscale “Asian-fusion” dining experience? Never in our regular rotation like our beloved Tex-Mex joints, but we went a few times Back in the Day… All I can say now is that it’s definitely gone downhill - feels as if they’re serving Panda Express in a fancier setting!?!

Let me back up and start at the beginning - all I intended to do yesterday afternoon was to deliver a couple of pumpkins to my son, but I wound up with an impromptu invitation to Victoria‘s grandmother’s birthday celebration. Of course I will never bypass any invitation from my son, even if it involves getting roped into running an errand like picking up her birthday cake (Zach had forgotten he had a dentist appointment). But with all the fine dining opportunities that abound in the DFW area**,  somehow we wound up at PF Chang’s? Victoria had the day off so she had taken her grandmother to the Dallas Arboretum, perfect weather for their pumpkin-patch display!

** we had to find someplace that would satisfy Victoria‘s grandfather’s inconsistent appetite; he has not been doing well, but that’s another story

PF Chang‘s now has their “Chef’s Feast” option which is the best value since you get an appetizer, soup or salad and then a main-course dish. Andy was adamant that he wanted “no rice!” as we patiently explained to him multiple times that the rice would be served on the side. (Even more alarming than his physical deterioration is his cognitive decline) And again, while it was nice to see everyone, this was not a memorable fine-dining experience like our expedition to the Fort Worth stockyards two weeks ago… “I ate it anyway” so won’t be approaching my scales after all that oil, sodium, & MSG. The highlight was returning to Andy & Adela’s to cut the cake & witness their dog Mac’s unbridled joy at seeing ZACH!!! since he’s been taking him for walks. (I wanted to tell Mac I know how he feels, but if I wiggled my butt & jumped up & down in delight, Zach might not invite me over as often ;-)

Time to disturb my little lap warmer Izzy & get on with my day

Diminishing Returns

  There comes that cold hard point in one’s existence where the reality of your own limitations (physical, financial, existential??) meet the parameters of this Great Escape you’ve planned, like waves crashing upon the beach. And in the long run, having as little effect.

Nothing really “bad” happened on my mini-vacay trip to Quitaque; things just didn’t go quite as planned. Most folks were somber as we realize that this might be our last chance to enjoy these trails as the ranch is on the market (for the low low price of $8 million - needless to say, it might take a while to sell) and who knows if the new owners will continue to allow equestrian access? 

https://www.land.com/property/5457-acres-in-Briscoe-County-Texas/20852165/

Silas didn’t like his new boots (I think more a case of he’s never worn such things before rather than not fitting properly) so we wound up picking our way gingerly through the first day barefoot. We wound up falling in with a group of 7 moms & daughters; everything was fine but we had to go slow and both of us were tired at the end of our 16-mile loop. I treasure these horse-camping opportunities for the splendid isolation/private time it affords me, but this time instead of reading & journaling, I mindlessly surfed the 'Net. (Cue minor guilt for wasting precious irreplaceable time) Silas’s back wound up a little sore so I decided not to ride on Day 2. My friend Chris’s horse likewise had girth galls, so we had a nice “coffee-time” visit Saturday morning before I loaded up for a leisurely haul home. Chris is recently widowed (her husband passed away last month after an extended cancer battle), so she of course is still grieving as she adjusts to her new reality.

About 150 miles from home, my truck developed an alarming vibration. Everything was running fine, so I slowed down and kept proceeding towards home (spoiler alert: it was a bad tire, but it didn’t blow out on me and I got home safely even though my nerves were stretched tight) Victoria’s grandfather has loaned Zach a car to drive to work as he goes through the slow & tedious process with the insurance adjuster. (I offered him either my baby Buick or my mom’s big land yacht of a Buick, but he’d rather drive Andy’s old Lexus) Once the settlement is complete, we will sort out what to do about a “new used” vehicle for him.

At some point I have to seriously question how much benefit I received from this recreation: this last weekend seemed like it carried a large component of stress, even though it was great to see everyone as always. I am on my last week of this two-month commitment to acupuncture, and while I can say I seem to be sleeping better I don’t know that it’s done me much benefit in my other symptoms of fatigue, shortness of breath, etc.

I didn’t take very many photos but I’ll try to post a few later.

                                                   This is another friend's panoramic shot

67 Inches Above Ground

 I recently completed “Six Feet Under” which, while quite engaging & entertaining, did not seem to have the profound effect on me many other people have attested. Perhaps because I deal with death & dying Every. Damn. Day - granted, in veterinary medicine, not the human field but it makes me more inured to it. “Yes, Virginia, we’re all gonna die & it’s a process for the most part that we have little or no control over!”

Last night, Zach had completed his first community outreach program for the City of Dallas (setting up a table, handing out water bottles & talking to citizens at a nearby park) - he was feeling good about himself after a 12 hour workday when some kid ran a stop sign and Zach could not avoid hitting him. Fortunately Zach is uninjured, although he is stiff & sore and may go to an urgent care clinic today to have his potential whiplash injuries investigated, but in all likelihood insurance will total his car - it’s a 2012 Impala & it’s just not worth that much! So, like it or not, we will be car shopping and Zach will have to take on (another**) car payment.

**I’m still covering the car payment on the other car which Zach seems to have ceded to Victoria for the most part - I’m grateful he wasn’t in the Lexus; it would’ve been heartbreaking to wreck that one!

So I’d better shift my freight to get moving on my own workday, since I don’t want to sacrifice my ride this weekend, carpe diem & all that…I’m going to finish paying the piper for my colleague Dr M by spaying their pet skunk!

Chin Up, Chest Out, Shoulders Back

 A banner weekend for me in more ways than one: physically, emotionally, maybe even spiritually?

I took my girls to our Southwest Veterinary Symposium in Fort Worth; I seem to have succeeded in showing them a good time on a little mini-vacay - I booked us rooms at the Sheraton. Metroplex traffic has gotten so horrendous - I know I saved us between 3 - 4 hours each day of commuting time. I had to get my truck serviced Thursday for this upcoming weekend’s trip, so I was a little late getting out of my gate;  coming up to Fort Worth in the late afternoon I only hit one minor traffic jam which probably delayed me 10-15 minutes but felt like forever!

I did not book Dr. M & her husband a hotel room since they were going to stay with her daughter in Heath (a nearby suburb which under normal circumstances would be 30 minute commute). However, after 2 days of bucking northside traffic, on Friday night Dr M bunked with me - & Saturday night we had a full-fledged slumber party since her husband stayed over too; he didn’t feel like driving back after our celebratory “family dinner”. (Well, it wasn’t a full-blown slumber party since I couldn’t convince P to sleep over, he just drove over for dinner - & what a dinner it was!)

To Be Continued…

As you can read, I continue to cope with most of life's issues through dark'ish humor - and while I was not thrilled to sacrifice my privacy in my upscale hotel room (I know for my mother, highlights of her existence were our vacations when I became a teenager: we were well-off enough that we no longer had to camp out, we stayed in hotels & ate in restaurants where somebody else was doing the laundry, the cooking, & the dishes! Of course I absorbed those traits), I was trying to make the best of it & even felt some guilt after Dr M's profuse gratitude. It really was not that big a deal!

The physical aspects of my victory came from surpassing 10K steps on Friday, attending my first "real live" yoga class on Saturday (not perfect but I tried to keep up), and fasting all day Saturday in preparation for our Big Fancy Family Dinner Saturday night - Dr M & her husband were celebrating his successful recent cancer surgery which he came through like an absolute rock star. He insisted on picking up the check at the Ft Worth Stockyards steakhouse (easy to remember as it's named Lonesome Dove) where we enjoyed exotic sausage (rabbit & rattlesnake), wild boar ribs, and sharing tidbits of elk tenderloin, Berkshire pork chops, bison ribeye, and my own beef filet which, hands down, was one of the best pieces of meat I've had in my whole life! MM insisted on picking up this hefty tab, so I could justify my hotel room sharing as part of "paying the piper".

Trainspotting

 Last week, Big Boy, one of the few remaining operational steam locomotives in North America, came through Ellis County on its big multi-state tour. He steamed right down the tracks across the road from my clinic - I was not out early enough to see this, so I drove down to Ennis to catch the whistle stop. I will get some photos posted later; it was damned impressive.

https://www.up.com/heritage/steam/4014/

On Sunday afternoon, we got the surgery trailer cleared out so that yesterday I was able to work completely in my building. This was nice as long-awaited rainstorms came through; we didn’t have to trek back-and-forth to the surgery trailer. I hope to get news from the bank today that Dr. W’s loan has been approved and then we just have to finalize details of when he will pick it up? Hopefully it won’t be this weekend as we are going to the state veterinary conference, but even so, Zach has already volunteered to be my handoff man. He’s as anxious as I am to get those funds so I can pay off some debts & start catching up on dadgum tax payments! One hurdle at a time…

Things seem to have stabilized with Kristy’s mom under hospice care at home. I certainly hope nothing dramatic changes so Kristy can enjoy (as best she can) our short little weekend in Fort Worth. She & Misti have been plotting out which lectures they will attend; I haven’t even had a chance to look at their schedule so that will probably be Thursday evening’s chore when I check into our hotel. (I splurged to get us hotel rooms since it will save us close to three hours of commuting time each day)

But speaking of chaos, my son does seem to thrive on it - he was filling me in on more drama in his personal life with Victoria. Obviously they’ll either work things out or they won’t - for now I can just be content that all is well in his professional career - he is picking up extra shifts, socking away some overtime so he and Victoria can go to Tulum. My boy is figuring out the true cost of things and I haven’t even finished transferring responsibility for his utilities and car payment…I’m giving him a few more months to adjust to adult life.

Speaking of which, I’ve got to get on with my own! Life doesn’t feel very carpe diem-ish now, but next week will be better when I’m prepping for my ride at Pole Canyon